Insanity is a matter of perspective.

MEME Shamelessly and without remorse stolen from the lovely Cazmalfoy

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 22:53:46 GMT

My head is poorly, so a meme is called for!

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This Mortal Coil

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:04:02 GMT

Title: This Mortal Coil.
Rating: Gish.
Warnings/Spoilers: Captain Jack Harkness. Mention of death.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Ianto knows Jack gets lonely and graveyards inspire memories...Angsty Fluff.
A/N: This came about because of demotu's gorgeous fic 'Blessed are Those' And because qthelights made a comment about how the only gift Ianto ever seems to get Jack in fics is cufflinks…Also because it was a bit of a writing exercise because I’m rubbish at the mo.
A/N 2: Thank you so much to put_that_away my beta for this. She is gorgeous and brilliant and I couldn’t write this without her. Oh and I know nothing about war so please excuse any factual errors…

Jack shifted the weight of his great coat on his shoulders, leaning against the crumbling, grey stone arch and staring out over the crooked grave yard it occupied. The evening sun cast long shadows across the grass, grave stones of various sizes occasionally interrupted by sad bouquets of flowers surrounded the small, quiet church and a single bird sang in the dusk.

Jack took a deep breath and looked up, the setting sun stained the sky pink and the moon hung pale and visible in the warm Cardiff evening.

‘I know you’re here.’

He turned to stare at the shadowy entrance of the church.

Ianto was watching him, hunched against the huge, ornate, dark wood door and he walked out slowly, head down and avoiding Jack’s eyes as he stood next to him.

‘What are you doing here?’

Ianto pushed his hands in his pockets and finally looked across at him. ‘I like it here. It’s quiet.’ He moved his gaze over at the grave stones. ‘Peaceful.’

Jack didn’t reply for a while, looking straight ahead steadfastly and Ianto waited for him.

‘Did you follow me?’

‘No.’ Ianto lied. ‘Why are you here?’

Jack didn’t answer again and Ianto shuffled his feet, inching closer to him as their shadows merged and blurred against the worn concrete path cutting through the grass and leading to the arch.

‘Do you miss him?’ Ianto asked finally.

Jack sighed frustratedly and turned to stare at him.

‘I think he would like it here, but I don’t get to know.’ He shrugged and looked away again. ‘I don’t know where he went.’

Jack forced his voice not to crack as he thought of all the nights he had lain awake and searched his memory for lifeless eyes in dead faces in piles of bodies in charnel houses.

Whole nights lying awake in the dark and searching - searching his memories for any of those faces that might have been his. Anything other than the list of the dead that he had stolen his name from that showed where he had gone.

Where he had ended up.

Where he had been lain to rest.

Where Jack could think of him at peace and mourn a memory without the constant not knowing that was driving him mad.

‘I don’t know.’ He murmured softly. ‘I just…I don’t know…’

Ianto reached for Jack’s hand, his finger tips brushing lightly and retracting just as quickly as Jack’s flinched away.

‘I’m sorry.’ Jack shook his head and took another deep breath, looking out over the graves again, in silence.

People had become a bit like stars to Jack these days, he thought. Shining brightly in the darkness, eyes glowing with the spark life and looking at Ianto it was all he could do not to reach out and touch him. But Ianto was a star and he would shine briefly and illuminate his life but in the end Jack knew he was too far away to properly reach and fated to dim and die.

Ianto was still just standing there and Jack closed his eyes for a second, collecting himself. Ianto was good to him, too good and Jack shouldn’t want to be left alone in the darkness.

He didn’t want to be alone.

‘I have something for you.’

He frowned at Ianto for a second before covering it with a sad grin. ‘Is it my birthday?’

Ianto bowed his head, his hand nervously fiddling in his pocket for a moment before he bought out a black velvet box.

‘I’m not proposing.’ He said quickly, taking Jack’s wide eyed reaction in and smiling softly. ‘I promise.’

‘Okay.’ Jack watched him carefully and Ianto held it out to him.

‘Take it.’

‘What is it?’

Ianto didn’t reply and Jack reached out, curling his hand around the small box, his fingers brushing Ianto’s and he crooked a grin before he took it and opened it slowly.

Inside was a silver medal shaped like a cross. It was made out of swirling, patterned metal and decorated with wings and a crown surrounding a laurel wreath. It hung gently against the velvet background on a navy blue and white, diagonally striped braid.

‘It’s his.’ Ianto said quietly, looking back over the graves as Jack stared at it.

‘What…How…’Jack swallowed and looked at him. ‘When…?’

‘It’s a Distinguished Flying Cross. Awarded to RAF soldiers in World War Two for acts of valour –‘

‘-courage or devotion to duty whilst flying.’ Jack finished under his breath. ‘I know.’

Ianto watched him and Jack stroked his finger over the cold silver, it shone dully in the evening light and looked as if it was awarded just yesterday. The only indication it was over half a century old was the slight tarnish.

‘He was posthumously awarded it.’ Ianto explained, turning back to face Jack. ‘I think he would want you to have it.’

‘Ianto…’

‘He would want you to have it.’ Ianto repeated slowly, gazing steadily at him and pushing his hands back in his pockets as the sky darkened and a breeze shifted through the trees around them.

‘I don’t deserve it.’

‘He was a hero.’ Ianto replied.

‘Yes.’

‘And so are you.’

Jack didn’t say anything and Ianto sighed and moved in front of him. ‘Jack.’ He reached out to cup his cheek and Jack stiffened, closing the box with a stiff click and dropping his hand.

‘I can’t…’

‘Jack, he loved you.’ Ianto breathed. ‘He saved lives and you saved his, I think you deserve it more than anyone.’

Jack shook his head slowly. ‘I didn’t save him.’

‘I think you did.’ Ianto smiled. ‘I’m sure he would agree.’

‘Where did you get it from?’ Jack fingered the box and looked at Ianto from under his eyelashes. ‘Why did you do it?’

Ianto shrugged. ‘I know you miss him.’

‘I miss a lot of people.’

‘I know you get lonely, Jack. And that you miss him. And that it’s the 25th of January.’ Ianto supplied quietly. He shuddered as the temperature dropped and Jack realised he was shivering too. ‘You’re allowed to grieve Jack.’

‘I’m not grieving…’ Jack shook his head. Ianto was staring soulfully at him and he thought about leaning in, grabbing the back of his head and kissing him forcefully. Kissing him and forgetting about anything other than Ianto but he was tired. Suddenly and ferociously tired, he lifted the box back up held it in his palm.

‘He was a good soldier.’

Ianto nodded. ‘Yes. Like you.’ He reached out and wrapped Jack’s hand around the box, his fingers cold against Jack’s and he curled the medal safely back into Jack’s fist, letting his hand linger. ‘It’s yours Jack - His.’ He sighed softly. ‘Both of yours.’

‘Thank you.’ Jack whispered, nodding. He stared at him hard, his eyes glassy and twinkling blue in the now dark night sky, Ianto dipped his head imperceptibly in reply and took his hand back, thrusting it in his pocket.

They both turned back to the graveyard, Jack breathed in deeply and looked up at the sky. A single star had appeared and he grinned sadly, looking at Ianto who was standing in silence, hunched in his coat against the wind. Jack reached out with his free hand and softly placed it in Ianto’s, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently as they walked slowly out into the night together.

‘Who is wise in love, love most and say least.’

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:36:49 GMT

Title: ‘Who is wise in love, love most and say least.’
Rating: G
Warnings/Spoilers: None. Post Sleeper Fic but no mention of episode. M/M Kissing.
Characters: Jack/Ianto and Gwen
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Gwen and Ianto discuss Jack. Its fluff and there’s angsty love.
A/N: Erm. I love Gwen and I love Jack/Ianto. And I’m having one of those days where you live in your head and talk to yourself. I wrote this in half an hour. Its kind of philosophy of Torchwood but with Jack asleep. And I don't often agree with love but I'm in a weird mood. As I said. And once again, thank you to my lovely Jen skullgirl013 She tells me it's good to post, bless her, she's the best.

Gwen walked across the cold Hub floor to where Ianto was leaning against the wall, a coffee mug in his hands and his legs crossed at the ankle.

‘What –‘

‘Shhhh.’

Ianto turned to look at her and nodded his head towards the sofa. Jack was asleep. His head resting on his hands cushioned on the arm, his great coat draped over him where Ianto had placed it carefully over his body and a slight frown on his face, almost as if he was annoyed he was asleep and not doing something else.

‘Oh.’

‘He doesn’t sleep a lot.’ Ianto whispered, sipping his coffee slowly and watching Jack.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know.’ Ianto shrugged and looked across at her.

She sighed and folded her arms. ‘Another great mystery in the secret life of Captain Jack Harkness.’

‘Everyone has secrets Gwen.’

‘Torchwood has secrets you mean Ianto. Jack has secrets.’

‘Everyone has secrets Gwen. Like you do with Rhys, like I did after Torchwood One when I had Lisa.’ He fell silent for a second and Gwen waited for him to continue. ‘Jack’s been here longer than any of us. It stands to reason he has more secrets than any of us.’

She thought about Rhys and sighed. ‘You tell the people you love your secrets.’

‘He loves us.’ Ianto answered quickly, looking over at her. ‘He loves us Gwen whether he tells us everything he knows or does or sees or not, don’t think he doesn’t love us. Like you love Rhys. It’s just…love and Torchwood…it’s complicated.’

‘Because Torchwood breeds secrets.’ Gwen replied harshly. ‘And death.’

‘And in amongst all that is life, aliens and worlds and a Universe - Universes,’ he corrected, ‘full of life.’

‘And, Jack.’ Gwen sighed as they watched him. ‘One life, lived a million times.’

Ianto nodded. ‘And Jack. Torchwood isn’t just death and destruction, even if it feels like it. There’s life, there’s things we see everyday Gwen that the world has no clue about, don’t you think you know enough?’

‘No.’

Ianto laughed quietly and shook his head at her. ‘Jack’s right about you.’

She smiled at him and they both stared at Jack sleeping for a few minutes.

‘It’s just…’ Ianto turned to look at her again as she searched for the words. ‘It’s just, there’s Torchwood and Jack and secrets and life. Except you have all of them.’ She frowned as she worked it out. ‘You have Torchwood and its secrets in your bed. In your real life. I don’t have that.’

Ianto took another slow gulp of coffee and chewed his lip for a second. ‘I’m under no illusions about mine and Jack’s…relationship Gwen. I know we aren’t Cathy and Heathcliff. Cardiff Bay isn’t the Yorkshire moors and he’s not my hearts darling.’ Gwen grinned and Jack sighed sleepily, fidgeting under his coat until his face was hidden. ‘He is all those things but he’s also my secret Gwen.’

She turned to look at him again as he gazed at her over his coffee cup, draining the last of it silently. ‘What?’

‘He’s my secret.’ Ianto repeated, looking back over at Jack sadly, left hand in his pocket and leaning his head against the side of the cool metal of the wall. ‘I have a life. Sister, nephew and nieces, mother, friends in London, friends in Cardiff, ex-girlfriends and boyfriends but Jack…he’s different.’

‘Do you love him?’

‘Yes.’

Gwen nodded. ‘Then that’s all that matters.’

Ianto bowed his head and smiled at her, pushing himself off the wall and stroking a hand down her arm. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek softly before heading out of the Hub and home to Rhys. Ianto stood and watched Jack for a few more minutes. Myfanwy rustled above them and Ianto walked slowly over to him, putting the mug down on the table and leaning down over Jack. Ianto ran a hand through his hair and smiled as Jack murmured sleepily and opened his eyes.

‘Hey.’ He grinned at Ianto, blinking and shifting underneath the coat as he woke up.

‘Hi.’ Ianto kissed him and cupped his cheek. ‘Love you.’

Jack gazed at him. ‘Love you too.’ He whispered, leaning up and pressing his lips against Ianto’s, closing his eyes as they kissed in the quiet still of the Hub.

Any Port

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 22:09:20 GMT

Title: Any Port
Rating: NC17 (This is all sex and angst.)
Warnings/Spoilers: M/M Explicit Sex
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Erm. There’s a storm. Jack’s wet. Ianto’s in bed. My brain probably went similar places to yours. Namely, sex. Oh and it’s really long. Like 2900 words.
A/N: I don’t actually know why I wrote this. I probably need to get laid. Anyone up for it, I live in East Anglia. Thank you so much to my lovely Jen skullgirl013 for reading through and telling me it’s okay to post. I haven't written in sex in a long time. So there's your explanation for this, it was practice.

Jack opened the door painfully quietly and slipped inside. He didn’t turn a light on, feeling his way through the familiar hallway instead and quickly unlacing his boots before reaching the stairs. Thunder broke outside and a flash of lightning illuminated the corridor, it was hours past midnight, at least three in the morning and Jack wouldn’t normally do this but Ianto’s face when he had died…

He crept slowly up the stairs, reached his hand out and opened the door to Ianto’s bedroom silently, the red blinking numbers on the alarm clock to the right of the bed showed 3:13am. Ianto was covered by the quilt with an extra blanket half across his body and half on the floor and Jack could barely make him out as he stood in the door frame and tried to ignore the biting chill of the wet clothes he was wearing. The wind on the way over had made him shake with cold and he tensed his jaw as icy rain dripped from his hair down the back of his neck.

Another flash of lightning outside burst through the gap in Ianto’s curtains and lit up the room; Jack looked from the door and watched Ianto breathe evenly in his sleep without even noticing the storm. He finally moved forward quietly and shrugged his great coat off, laying it on a nearby chair and shivering as the only insulating warmth he had left his body. Ianto’s breath caught and he shifted his head in his sleep, turning away from the window as another loud clap of thunder sounded outside and wind billowed around the house noisily.

Jack crouched down next to the bed on the wooden floor and leaned over Ianto, softly kissing his hair and moving back, waiting for him to wake up. He didn’t stir and Jack tried not to shiver as another wave of coldness ripped through him, he whispered Ianto’s name and slowly placed another kiss at the corner of his mouth. Something banged outside and Jack ignored it and kissed him again, his lips lingering softly, he could feel Ianto’s warm breath against his wind chilled skin and murmured his name again slightly louder. Ianto sighed sleepily and shifted his face closer to Jack’s, his eyes roving beneath his eyelids as he dreamed. Jack moved in slowly and nudged Ianto’s cheek with his nose, running it lightly along his jaw until he reached his mouth and kissing him again until Ianto’s eyes flickered open, blinking in the darkness and focusing on Jack’s face.

‘Hey.’ Jack said softly, grinning and taking in Ianto’s sleepy expression.

Ianto stared at him. ‘Hi.’

‘You okay?’

Ianto stretched beneath the quilt and turned to face Jack properly. He stared hard and Jack waited for him to speak. ‘Are you?’

‘Freezing.’ He shivered as if to prove the point and Ianto only just realised his clothes were stuck to him and his hair was dripping. Jack frowned. ‘It rains in Cardiff a lot.’

‘That’s not what I meant.’ Ianto said quietly.

‘I know.’

Jack glanced away and Ianto reached a hand out to cup his face and make him look at him.

‘Jack?’ He sat up against the headboard and Jack sighed.

‘I’m good Ianto. All fine.’ Jack lied. Ianto had seen him die, slowly and in pain. It had hurt like a bitch coming back and Jack wasn’t sure when Ianto was there - as he silently revived, clenching his fists at the burn of returning to life yet again and holding back a pained yell as his molecules sparked and fired and dragged him forcefully back into the dim light of the SUV in the car park - that Ianto wanted to be there. He wasn’t sure that Ianto didn’t wish it was different and Jack wasn’t entirely fine with that look in his eyes. ‘You don’t need to worry, I’m good as new.’

It would have been more convincing if his whole body wasn’t shivering violently and he wasn’t tensing his jaw to stop his teeth chattering. Ianto gazed at him sadly for a second before nodding.

‘Do you want to stay?’

Another bang of lightning and roll of thunder left just the monotonous, dull thudding drum of heavy raindrops against the window and Jack didn’t answer the question. Ianto got out of bed, pulling him up and leading him through to the bathroom.

He put the light on and they both blinked in the sudden brightness of fluorescent light and white tiles. Ianto reached out a hand and started to unbutton Jack’s shirt, his fingers lightly playing over the button at the top near his collar and softly brushing his jaw and neck. Jack shuddered as he watched him and let Ianto slowly undress him, his hands falling methodically down Jack’s chest as he undid each button until the damp navy shirt hung open and dripping on the clean white floor.

Ianto tugged at the wet sleeves, tangling them around Jack’s wrists before they loosened and fell to the floor with slap. Jack quickly moved his freed arms under the hem of his undershirt and pulled it off, his hair messing wetly and his fringe flopping in front of his eyes. Ianto reached up and swept it back, his fingers running over Jack’s forehead and Jack moved closer automatically, leaning into him and pressing their lips together.

Ianto pulled back and moved his face to kiss down Jack’s neck, slowly moving his lips across his cold skin and warming it with his tongue, Jack let out a low moan and Ianto glanced up sideways at him, his mouth still hot against Jack’s collar bone and his hands moving to his belt. Jack held onto Ianto’s shoulders as he took the buckle in his hands and undid it quickly, pulling it open and feeling his way to the button and fly on Jack’s trousers as the Captain moved forward and rested his head on Ianto’s shoulder. He turned his face into Ianto’s throat and kissed him softly as fingers fumbled near his crotch until his trousers were undone.

Jack moaned softly as Ianto’s fingers slid into the waistband of his boxers and pushed slowly, the wet material clinging to his skin and Ianto slid down, kneeling on the floor to peel them and his trousers off his legs, the belt clanging noisily on the tiles and echoing in the bathroom. Jack stepped out of them and Ianto threw them on the heap of sodden clothes in the corner.

He leant back on his heels and looked up at Jack, his hands dragging slowly up the back of Jack’s muscled thighs and holding him up. Jack shuddered, finally naked and looking down at Ianto silently.

‘You’re freezing.’ He leaned in and kissed Jack’s stomach. His hands moved over Jack’s arse, sweeping up his back and warming cold flesh, Ianto’s lips and tongue slowly dragged along his abdomen and Jack moaned softly. ‘Do you want a hot shower?’

Jack laced his hand in Ianto’s and pulled him up. ‘I’m sure you could warm me up.’ He said, murmuring it to Ianto beneath the noise of the storm outside, flexing his fingers in Ianto’s hand gently as he stared at him and moved into his body teasingly slowly. Ianto was hard and Jack got just close enough to push his cock against the warmth of Ianto’s boxers, rubbing against the bulge in them softly as he pressed him against the cold bathroom wall.

Jack watched as Ianto’s eyes drifted shut and he dipped his head to kiss him deeply, his breath catching as Ianto moved a hand up to the back of his neck and gripped his wet hair in his fingers. Jack moaned softly into his mouth and Ianto responded by kissing back harder, suddenly thrusting his tongue deeper into Jack’s mouth and directing him back into the darkened bedroom with a push. He kissed him firmly, backing him up against the bed and leaning him down into the mattress, his hands firmly on Jack’s chest directed him onto his back, legs open for Ianto to lean over him without losing body contact.

Jack grunted, kissing Ianto back just as desperately, half hearing more thunder outside and the accompanying lightning flashing into the room. Ianto moved slowly on top of him, kissing him as Jack opened his legs wider and pressed them bodily together, his hands running down Ianto’s back. He pulled him in close and rolled his eyes into the back of his head as Ianto’s warmth covered his body and heat finally started returning to his own skin. Tiny prickles of feeling sparking where he was previously numb with cold and he wrapped Ianto around him, gripped him between his thighs, held him close in his hands and groaned as Ianto murmured appreciatively at the contact. His cock was hard against Jack’s stomach and rubbing ever so lightly as he rocked against him and only broke their kiss for sharp, panting intakes of breath into the darkened room.

Jack groaned as Ianto’s fingers dug into his thighs and pushed them higher, his body draped over his and thrusting against him now, heat building between them and the quilt discarded on the floor as they twisted the sheets beneath their bodies. More thunder clapped loudly outside and Ianto’s deep moan was lost in the noise of it as Jack reached his hands down to grab his arse and pull him closer again. He needed more, he wanted Ianto, he slowly shifted his hands back up Ianto’s body and cupped his face, dragging himself away from the kiss and breathing hard against Ianto’s mouth. ‘Ianto, stop.’ He groaned as Ianto licked the roof his mouth, tickling the tip of his tongue along it and making Jack shiver and groan and buck against him hard. ‘Stop, Ianto. Stop.’

Ianto’s eyes flew open and stared at him, his hands faltering as they stroked down Jack’s sides, thumbs dragging over his hips and pressing in lightly as they neared his groin. ‘What?’ He stopped moving and looked at Jack, their chests heaving together as he held himself above Jack and ignored the pulsing need in his achingly hard cock and the frustrated desire in the pit of his stomach. ‘Are you alright?’

Jack nodded and kissed him, moving their lips gently together and moaning appreciatively. ‘Yeah, just slow down.’

Ianto frowned and looked at him and Jack kissed him again, working his tongue against Ianto’s in slow swipes, his nerves tingling as Ianto kissed back and he grinned against his lips. ‘Slower. I missed you.’

The words, ‘I need you’ were never spoken, averted always because neither admitted to the actual idea yet, both waiting for the other as it was easier than admitting that after everything they still found themselves together and wanting the other so hard it hurt.

Ianto nodded slightly and bent his head to kiss Jack’s adams apple, biting down on it gently and brushing his tongue over the skin as Jack moaned softly and Ianto felt the vibrations against his lips. He moved lower down, kissing wet marks along the skin of Jack’s chest and belly, following the pattern of ribs and muscles with his lips and delicately pulling nipples between his teeth, licking and sucking them harder when Jack groaned.

He pulled back and slid his body further down the bed, moving his head between Jack’s legs and turning his face to kiss the inside of Jack’s right thigh. Jack lifted it up, pushing his foot against the mattress and scrunching his toes as Ianto torturously ran his tongue along the sensitive skin and kissed slowly further up until he reached his cock. Jack looked down at the top of Ianto’s head, running his fingers through his bed ruffled hair and lightly gripping it in a fist, directing him between his thighs and letting his head fall back heavily against the pillow as Ianto moved over his erection and stroked his palm up it before taking it in his mouth. Jack’s fingers tightened in his hair and Ianto wrapped his hand around the base of Jack’s cock, slowly twisting up as he sucked him deeply into his mouth, his tongue caressing the smooth skin and hard flesh down into his throat and he moaned as the salty tang filled his senses.

Jack breathed hard and fought against thrusting into Ianto’s mouth, gritting his teeth as Ianto swallowed and sucked, pulling back and mouthing his foreskin before deep throating him again. Jack writhed and fisted his other hand in the sheets, sweat breaking out and gleaming on his chest as another fork of lightning made the room glow. Ianto pulled off and moved his mouth lower down, licking below Jack’s cock and pressing open mouthed kisses to his balls as he slowly continued to tug Jack’s erection in his fist.

Jack’s neck was taut and strained as he pushed his head back into the mattress to try to stop arching off the bed and force his cock into Ianto’s hand. He reached an arm across to the left and fumbled in the drawer, finding lube easily and hastily opening it, squirting it one handed over his fingers and smearing it over his palm. He removed his other hand from Ianto’s hair and pulled him back up, shuddering as Ianto slid up along his body, dragging over his cock and Jack thrust firmly against his thigh, reached between them and wiped lube over Ianto’s hand messily.

Ianto kissed him teasingly, bowing his head and pulling back as Jack’s lips followed his and tried to deepen it, grinning as Ianto swept back in for another and turned his head slightly when another flash of lightning distracted him. Jack took the opportunity to kiss him hard, pushing his tongue against his lips until Ianto relented and opened his mouth, sucking on his tongue and stroking his hands down Jack’s body at the same time.

Thunder rumbled and Jack stared at Ianto as he slipped a hand between his open legs, running his fingers over the stretched skin of Jack’s entrance and leaning in to kiss him as he gently pushed a finger inside him. Jack murmured softly, moved his hips and groaning as Ianto pressed in another, shhing Jack’s moans with a kiss. More lightning, quicker than before and a second clap of thunder interrupted the silence outside, the storm was approaching and Ianto ignored it as he slowly twisted two and then three fingers inside him, waiting for Jack to whisper his name pleadingly before removing them and sitting up.

Jack whimpered softly and Ianto reached for his hand, placing it around his cock and moaning as Jack wrapped slippery fingers around it, slicking him quickly and he thrust into Jack’s fist. More lightning ripped through the darkness almost directly outside the window and Jack stared as Ianto was illuminated, head thrown back, chest covered in a slight sheen of sweat, stomach muscles clenched and thighs braced. Jack groaned and lifted his head to kiss him again, licking into his mouth and grabbing Ianto’s hips as he positioned himself and thrust into Jack’s body. He bit down on Ianto’s shoulder and stifled a yell, arching into it as Ianto thrust again, harder and deeper and just as slow.

Jack grabbed the sheets and twisted them in his hand as Ianto fucked him slowly, pressing their bodies together, groaning in his ear as he pushed Jack up the bed with another hard thrust.

‘Fuck,’ Jack groaned loudly and reached back, grabbing the headboard with one hand and leaning up to kiss Ianto, biting his bottom lip as Ianto ran his hands up Jack’s back and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down and jerking his hips up hard, making Jack grip for purchase around the headboard’s iron bars. He held on fiercely as Ianto thrust into him again, hiding his head in Jack’s shoulder and panting against his skin as Jack pushed down onto him and Ianto moaned loudly, slamming back into him and speeding up.

Jack closed his eyes tightly as Ianto sat back on his heels and angled his hips, fucking Jack harder and faster, hitting his prostate on nearly every thrust, Jack strained his neck, pushed his head back into the mattress and gripped his dick in his fist. Ianto pounded into him as the storm rolled on, thunder rumbling and crashing and muting the harsh cries tumbling out of Jack’s lips as Ianto came inside him, groaning as Jack quietly begged him not to stop, biting his lip as Ianto continued to move hard inside him. Jack arched his back, forcing it, desperate to take his cock deeper and Ianto reached down, taking Jack’s throbbing dick in his hand, kissing his open mouth and swallowing his groan as Jack finally came in five wrenching pulses.

‘Wow.’ Jack barely said, minutes later and still catching his breath, looking across at Ianto in the relative darkness.

Ianto just nodded, shifting slowly onto his side and gazing at Jack’s face as a faraway lightning bolt partially lit it up. ‘A…are you staying then?’

Jack thought about making a joke about a repeat performance or simply just instigating one with an impromptu shower but Ianto was watching him carefully and the bed was warm and the quilt was heavy and covering them both. Jack was quiet and calm and the storm outside was petering out, playing its ending somewhere miles away now as it moved on through the night. He smiled and reached across to stroke Ianto’s facing, cupping his cheek in his hand and kissing his lips softly in reply.

Five Times Jack Harkness went to a Funeral

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:45:05 GMT

Title: Five Times Jack Harkness went to a Funeral
Rating: NC17 (M/M Slash and angst…)
Warnings/Spoilers: My beta says it make you cry. I dunno myself. Sex tho.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Jack goes to funerals and then Jack goes to Ianto.
A/N: I haven’t posted in forever. I’m all afraid of LJ for some reason but I wrote this months ago and my gorgeous beta skullgirl013 helped me think it was alright. Also this is for thrace_adams because she’s lovely and she’s missing her husband and her sons birthday - Happy Birthday!

It’s always like this.

It’s always the same.

For the last year and a half, Jack has always come to him after. Jack has always needed him.

But it’s different every time.

Ianto’s cooking and it’s Wednesday, he has steak frying and is regretting the fact that he didn’t a put a top on after his shower as oil flicks and spits near him. Ianto sucks his beer bottle and mutes the news playing on the T.V - it’s never right anyway. He hears the front door bang and catches a flash of blue material in the corner of his eye through the half open kitchen door as Jack walks in unannounced.

He doesn’t really need to be announced, Ianto knew he would come.

So he doesn’t move from his task, he stands and waits and ignores the presence behind him, watching him, wanting him. He doesn’t move until Jack finally catches his hand and pulls him from the oven, strokes his thumb over Ianto’s knuckles as he stares at him for a second before glancing away guiltily.

Ianto notes Jack hasn’t cried this time but he is windswept, his hair is out of place ever so slightly and the hand around his bare wrist is frozen to the bone, Ianto knows who the man was, relatively ordinary and lived not too far from the Hub. Jack had been silent about it and would probably continue to be.

‘Evening.’

Jack doesn’t reply, leaning forward instead and Ianto reaches behind him to flick the switch off on the oven before turning back as Jack’s lips part and he pulls him in close and kisses him once quickly. Jack looks at him for a split second before forcing him against the pine wood surface of his kitchen with another kiss, a harder one, pushing his lips insistently against Ianto’s and closing his eyes as he leans his entire body against his and shifts his crotch gently against Ianto’s until both their breath starts to quicken.

Jack forces against him with his hips and Ianto moans softly and runs a hand up around the back of his neck, settles it cupping Jack’s cheek as he kisses him back deeply. He would roll his eyes at how easy he is if Jack wasn’t clinging to him like a life raft, with his tongue in his mouth and a hand roughly pushing down his trousers. Ianto sighs inwardly and gives up hope on dinner and sleep because he will always give Jack what he wants when he’s like this.

When he’s alone.

When he’s slightly more haunted than the last time he saw him and when Ianto is the one he comes to.

Sometimes after the funerals Jack doesn’t talk and just fucks, sometimes he won’t stop talking, sometimes he doesn’t know what to do and sometimes Ianto has nothing new to say about it, but Jack will always come to him regardless. Ianto never minds and knows tonight it will be probably just be fucking, some form of sex on the kitchen floor here, hard and fast and later slower in bed, Jack will barely say anything worth while and Ianto will come hard at least twice. He knows this will happen and when Jack tilts his head to kiss down his neck and picks him up onto the kitchen cabinet, Ianto wraps his thighs around Jack’s waist and pulls him in closer, groans loudly at Jack’s hand stroking inside his boxers and lets it happen.

Later when they lie against each other on the floor, sweaty and achy, Ianto’s hand in Jack’s, the bite marks on his chest still twinging with pain and the faint smell of burnt oil, pheromones and steak staining the air, Ianto doesn’t care that he knew all of this would happen like always, because once again he has reminded Jack he’s not alone. Because Jack needs him to.

Two Months Later

Ianto’s sofa is occupied when he walks through his front door on a Friday that has frankly seen less action than a Thursday and he wonders how Jack continually manages to get into his house without ever getting a key.

Not that he didn’t expect him.

Jack’s flicking channels angrily, he has never got the hang of ‘chilling’ and Ianto clutches his keys and braces himself for whatever comes next because today it was a young boy, five or six if he remembers rightly and so badly mauled that you couldn’t tell if he was human whether you wanted to or not.

He lightly puts his keys down with his wallet and carefully takes off his coat; Jack continues to stare forward at the television screen for no reason in particular other than all he’s done all day is watch people so he may as well continue in a similar, if less real, vein. Ianto knows that tonight Jack’s more absent then here – staring straight through the hollow television voices and quite clearly more involved in his own thoughts but still, Ianto reasons, physical presence is more than enough because he’s exhausted and Jack’s inner turmoil can wait until at least a Friday.

‘Evening.’

Ianto loosens his tie and glances around, quickly judging the situation, Jack’s here – like always, he’s still got his boots on but his coat is off and draped across the sofa so he’s not completely prepared to leave or stay but a quick exit is always an option.

‘Did you lock up the Hub?’

‘No I left it open – Security exercise.’ Ianto replies conversationally, taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, ‘Myfanwy objected as Head of Defence but I reminded her how good a guard dog she was and she backed down.’

Silence greets his sarcasm and Ianto shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his feet, watches Jack watching him from the sofa with a blank expression.

‘Sooooo…How was it?’

‘A funeral.’

Ianto nods and wonders why he feels uncomfortable in his own house - why Jack makes him feel so insignificant and sighs as he wonders if they will ever be normal or if Jack will continually torture himself for as long as Ianto can stand to watch him.

‘Nice hymns?’

‘Does it matter?’ Jack glances back to the telly and Ianto scowls even though he’s not really angry, just annoyed that Jack won’t be angry. Jack won’t be sad and won’t be upset and Ianto doesn’t know how he wants him to react, he just wants something.

‘You tell me. You go to them all.’

Jack sighs and pulls him down to the sofa, moving until they are both lounging across it and he tucks Ianto’s head under his chin, runs his fingers through his hair and Ianto waits until Jack’s comfortable and breathing steadily before relaxing into it.

‘Sorry, I’m not angry with you. I just…’ Jack sighs and Ianto looks up at him waiting. ‘It was just a long day. I’m sorry.’

Ianto nods. He knows.

‘Do you want dinner?’

Jack’s voice sounds small and quiet, tired and like he’s very, very old. The sky outside the window darkens to navy blue as they sit and watch the night come and Ianto realises how exhausted he looks.

‘Do you?’

Jack shifts down into the cushions and exhales instead of yawning, shakes his head as he leans across to kiss him slowly and murmur against his mouth.

‘Not really. Maybe some rest.’

Ianto nods in agreement and leans his head against Jack’s shoulder - watches as he closes his eyes and drifts off while Ianto wonders when exactly it was that Jack started falling asleep against him in the dark. He realises he doesn’t mind as he listens to Jack’s rhythmic breathing and counts the stars appearing outside.

He couldn’t mind when Jack needs him.

Six Months Earlier

Ianto’s eyes are shut tight even though the small room is already dark enough to only see shadows and shapes unless he focused. He breaths shallowly as Jack grips his sweaty calf and brings it slowly higher, thrusts inside him and Ianto smothers a cry by burying his head in Jack’s shoulder and digs his heel into the small of Jack’s back, pushes it hard into Jack’s skin and wills him in deeper. Ianto hears him groan back and gasp, he moves his hips and Jack shoves violently back into him, ignores everything else and loses himself in Ianto.

It’s been like this since he arrived - Ianto letting him in after hearing insistent banging on his front door on a Monday night that’s technically a Tuesday morning. A visit that he knew was coming and knew would be Jack trying to forget and Jack using Ianto to do it.

Except Ianto’s all too willing to oblige - he won’t miss being kissed like he’s a dying man and having Jack strip him with frantic hands up his shirt and down the back of his trousers, grabbing and strewing clothes across the floor before they even reach the bedroom door.

He bites his lip as Jack runs a hand across his stomach and down between his legs, jerks his cock twice to bring him back to the present and he lets out a loud groan with another push of hips and thrust hard inside him, scratches his nails down Jack’s back in response and grips Jack’s biceps, wraps his thighs around Jack’s waist and flips him back into the mattress. Jack moans deeply as Ianto leans over him and opens his legs wider, repositions and kisses Jack’s chest with just a hint of teeth as he rolls his hips and takes him deeper.

‘Fuck Ianto,’ Jack groans loudly and hooks his arms around his shoulders, pulls him down and kisses him hard.

‘Shhhhhh.’

Ianto kisses him again and straightens up, rides him slowly, bites back soft moans and let’s Jack forget as they both lose themselves in sex and silence and sweat. Jack pulls him down again to kiss him, thrusts his hips up hard and pushes his dick deeper into Ianto’s willing body, he watches Ianto work his hand around his cock firmly and murmurs encouraging sounds as they increase their rhythm. Ianto places his other hand on Jack’s chest, it heaves up and down under his palm and Ianto clenches his internal muscles until he feels Jack come.

His thighs shake and he breathes hard as Jack arches off the bed and holds Ianto’s hips, muffling a strangled cry in his chest as he climaxes, hard. Ianto rocks against him and works him through his orgasm, moves his hand faster around his own cock, fists it harder, his neck taut as he raises his head to the ceiling and presses Jack into him at just the right angle until he’s coming too, Jack slowly moving inside him as Ianto gasps into the night and keeps his eyes closed tightly until his breathing returns to normal. They end up lying together in a tangle of sheets until Jack slowly pulls him away and gently rearranges him so they can fall asleep together. He rests his head on Ianto’s chest and holds him like he needs him as they both slip into dreams.

Fourteen Months Before

Ianto has nearly always known better. He really shouldn’t track down Jack and see where he’s going. But Ianto has nearly always known better and done it anyway, not to mention that this Thursday is the most boring one on record with little more to do than paperwork and cleaning and when Jack takes off with barely a word, Ianto watches carefully and knows that the few words he does say are lies.

Jack’s been off all morning, hasn’t flirted or smiled and Ianto found him shining his shoes at six. He knows better than to question him as a leader but as his lover, Ianto rationalises, finding out where he is, is fair game. It takes him three and a half hours to discover everything he needs and when he finally steals quietly into the Church his gaze lands on Jack straight away in the back of the room, with his hands in his pockets, staring quietly at the service.

The procession leaves slowly, led by a man in tears, he’s wearing a ring on his wedding finger but there’s no one by his side and Ianto bows his head as they walk past. In the end there’s just him and Jack left on other side of the Church, a row of pews separating them and Ianto looks across at him.

‘Did you know her?’

His voice sounds distant in the empty air, warped and not as comforting as it was meant to.

‘Do you remember ten days ago?’ Jack smiles forlornly and sighs. ‘The woman who got killed in the office basement? She was a secretary called Marie.’

Ianto frowns, remembering - there had been an alien threat warning that had turned into a small war between Torchwood and suit clad aliens. Ianto remembers the woman apparently called Marie and Jack continues quickly. ‘That was her. Her husband’s called Paul. She was three and a half months pregnant.’

Jack turns to leave and Ianto follows, the large wooden doors lead out to a blinkingly bright sun after the dust filled air of the Church where shadows were large and cold and the light was either tinted through intricate stained glass windows or in the form of flickering candle flames.

‘Is this what you do?’ Ianto calls after him.

‘What?’

‘Go to their funerals.’ Ianto replies blankly.

Jack stops and looks at him for a second, the SUV is around the corner and concealed as much as it can be and he sets off towards it quickly.

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘They died because of Torchwood.’ Jack explains, opening the door and sitting in the drivers seat. He turns to look at Ianto next to him and puts the keys in the ignition but doesn’t turn them.

‘That isn’t your fault.’

‘I didn’t say it was.’

‘Then why torture yourself like this? Because you are. I can see it in your eyes.’

Jack holds his gaze steadily before looking out through the windscreen into the empty street. ‘I’ll forget them. Those people in Marie’s life, her husband, her parents, they will never forget her and they shouldn’t, because she mattered to them.’ Jack explains, gesturing his hand firmly against the steering wheel. ‘She died because of Torchwood and that should matter but it won’t. Her family won’t know she sacrificed herself to save her best friend, it’s a truth that can never be told. She was important, she was brave and no one will know. Worse than that – I will know but I’ll forget her in a thousand other faces and names that are just as important and brave. So I remember them at their funerals for a day. Torchwood remembers them. Because they should matter.’

Ianto sits in silence as he listens and when Jack turns back to look at him sadly he leans across and kisses his mouth, closes his eyes against the feel of Jack’s hand moving up to cup his cheek and linger against his throat.

‘Stay the night?’

Jack nods against his lips, kisses him again slowly and pushes his tongue into Ianto’s mouth, Ianto makes a small noise in the back of his throat and breathes in sharply as the kiss deepens and Jack’s thumb drags down his neck.

He’s not sure if the kiss is comfort or not but he whispers thank you when their lips part briefly and Ianto knows Jack needs him as he rests their foreheads together for a second and Jack moves in to kiss him again.

Four Years Later

Jack wraps his coat around himself and turns his face to the wind. The tears on his cheek dry salty against his skin and he doesn’t know why he’s here. He went back to Ianto’s house but he couldn’t stand the silence, the empty rooms and old memories, it was cold and dark and lifeless and he left before he went mad.

He turns and looks across at the horizon, it’s heavy with clouds, there was no sun today and no rain, no thunder and lightning, just overbearing gloom and Jack thrusts his hands in his pockets as the sky darkens and a cold gust of wind sweeps around his position above Cardiff.

His phone rings loudly and he ignores it, it’ll be Gwen. Again. He can’t be there for her right now, he can’t fix this or make it better or make her feel okay, he’s too tired. He’s too tired of people he loves dying and having to look after everyone else when no one looks after him. Not anymore anyway.

Not now Ianto’s dead.

He swallows thickly past the recurring lump in his throat and breaths in hard. Thinking about it is still to difficult, he spent the funeral in a trance, trying not to think as everything played out around him. He has been to a lot of funerals, far too many, has seen coffins and flowers and mourners and cremations, services of every kind you can imagine and for as many different people as you can think of. He has watched parents and lovers and siblings and children come and go, he has listened to eulogies and hymns and poems and tributes and all of them have devastated him in a million little ways but its been a long time since one has made him truly heart broken.

Jack stands there until he can’t feel anything anymore, numb from the cold. He looks down from the rooftop and watches the streets below, there are people everywhere, the universe is vast and yet Jack has never felt like it was smaller. Like there is only one person he needs and he’s not here anymore and Jack doesn’t know what to do with himself because it would be Ianto that would remind him and it’s Ianto who isn’t here.

Ianto’s gone and Jack didn’t realise how much he had needed him until now.

He closes his eyes for a second before opening them to look up into the sky, there are no stars tonight either, the skies too grey but he can see the moon. He stares at it and wishes he could feel something, some hope for this, for Ianto, but he knows there isn’t. There’s just darkness. Ianto’s not out there anywhere and Jack rubs his eyes quickly and turns his collar up, leaving the rooftop and heading back to Torchwood alone.

Ficlet Time

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:47:39 GMT

Title: The Blind Leading the Blind
Rating: Probably NC15
Warnings/Spoilers: Slash Ficlet.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: What would you do with Ianto in the dark?
A/N: Erm. Dunno why I wrote it really. Needed a break I guess. Because, kind of - life? WTF. Okay. It’s fine. This is a drabbly/ficlet. If you’re bored, working, not working, escaping, avoiding or just as confused as fuck, this is dedicated to you. 380ish words of ‘not your life.’ If you’re happy, just enjoy, because you’re happy and I’m happy for you. Also dedicated to JB because I swear to God you get your wang out everywhere and I love you for it.

There was a crash and a bang and a very loud Welsh swear word and Jack squinted into the sudden darkness they had been plunged into.

‘Did you do that?’ Jack’s disembodied voice sounded odd in the pitch black and he heard something fall to the ground before Ianto replied.

‘Me?!’ Jack could positively feel Ianto’s eyebrow raise accusingly as he tried to find him, ‘what possible reason could I have for turning the lights out Jack? Hardly conducive to searching is it, darkness?’

‘Alright so you didn’t do it. Just thought you might have fancied an impromptu game of naked Blind Man’s Bluff…’

‘That had better not be your hand.’

Ianto jrked away as Jack grinned. ‘Why would you prefer it to be someone else’s?’

‘Jack!’

‘You know if we were in a horror movie right now we would either be about to be eaten or about to have sex.’

‘I have to stop showing you films…’

‘What do you reckon?’ Jack asked as he finally grasped Ianto, pulled him close and backed them towards where he thought the door was, ‘big scary monster, or would you prefer I ravage you?’

‘Well we work for Torchwood Jack, so potentially either is equally possible –‘

‘OW!’ Ianto tripped on something and fell to the floor heavily, pulling Jack with him and grunting in pain as he landed on him.

‘Sorry.’

‘Jack your knee is in my crotch.’

‘That’s not my knee.’

‘Don’t flatter yourself.’

Jack laughed and shifted, his thigh somewhere between Ianto’s legs and Ianto’s hand lingering on his back. Jack’s lips brushed Ianto’s cheek and they both made no attempt to get up, breathing heavily instead.

‘Do you want to have sex or not?’ Jack asked finally and Ianto rolled his eyes.

‘Was I arguing?’

‘Yes.’ Jacks hands moved further down and Ianto let a moan escape his lips as Jack kissed his neck whilst he unbuckled Ianto's belt. He groaned as Jack opened his trousers and thrust his hand inside and bit his lip as Jack flicked his tongue in his ear and quickly moved to just behind it to kiss his hair and bury his head in Ianto's neck, his voice muffled against his skin as Ianto's head thumped back against the floor and he groaned again at the pressure around his cock, ‘at the very least, you were moaning. Again.’

Jack smiled as Ianto’s breathing quickened at his hand rubbing slowly and laughed as Ianto leaned in and murmured against his mouth.

‘Shut me up then, Captain.’

A/N: Meh. About time I wrote something, even if it is that.

SHARK ATTACK 3 MEGALODON - OMG ME AND LUCY MADE PORN!!!!

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:23:46 GMT

Title: ‘What the Lobster Saw.’
Rating: NC17 SEX, SEX, SEX AND MOUSSE.
AUTHORS: cherry_soup888 AND lucy_locket
Warnings/Spoilers: Oh I can’t even…begin to describe…Just erm…slash. And shark similes. And bad porn lol.
Characters: Ben/Esai (Esai - Mexican Guy. Or Mexican Gay as Lucy called him.)
Disclaimer: We don’t own Shark Attack 3 Megalodon. We do – the DVD version, we have one each. But the copyright no, no we don’t. We probably should. We could do it awesome. But alas, we are not allowed to direct giant growling sharks. I don’t know why.
Summary: Lobster, Sex, Mousse – in that order. With jazz. As you should all know the film is pretty fucking bad, in a completely awesome and brilliant way – we have REALLY TRIED to mirror this for Lucy’s first ever smut, its as amazing as the film itself. Yet more so. We wrote this together, a few lines each over msn (mostly Lucy coz I made her do fingering, orgasms, the title and the last line lol, it’s about 70% her 30% me.)
A/N: Okay. So Shark Attack 3 Megalodon is the funniest film I personally, have ever seen. I’ve barely laughed that much ever. Me and Lucy love it and decided Ben (John Barrowman) was blatantly trying to seduce Esai (his little life guard friend in the film.) Hence – smut was born.
Now if you have never seen this film you ARE missing out.
John is fucking brilliant. The shark’s hilarious, the woman is bizarre, uploading has never been so easy, lever action has never been so frequent and the ‘Wave of Death’ has never been so utterly amazing.
Sharks can growl, Ben uses (a by now INFAMOUS) chat up line, boob shots are cut in for seemingly no reason and Mexico is generally THE PLACE TO BE.
So long as Megalodon can’t get you.
A Note from Lucy: First of all, I'm so, so sorry. This is like the worst cliché sex ever. And Abby, it's more like 60-40, hehe. She wrote most of the good sex, and I wrote the boring stuff. Also, I am kind of mortified that we're showing this to people. I haven't written anything in a long time – at least not anything to be read by others – let alone gay porn! So forgive me, haha. Also, I must take credit for the title. Abby can take credit for the good bits of the porn, and reminding me about the forgotten mousse. Also, please note that this is not to be taken seriously, although I hardly think this needs explaining, considering the movie, hehe.
Abby Again: Don’t listen to LUCY, SHE WROTE GOOD SEX.

'Ahhh, this was such a good idea,' said Ben as he ripped off a lobster claw, with innate dignity.

‘You nearly got us into trouble.’ Esai replied playfully. ‘Again.’

Ben grinned wildly and sucked his thumb as Esai glared at him through the candlelit glow.

‘You act like you didn’t enjoy watching me in my skin tight wet suit…’

Esai sucked on the neck of his beer bottle and winked at Ben, mischievously. 'You know I love when your wetsuit comes out to play, Ben.'

‘You just love it when I play.’ Ben sat back and stared at him challengingly and Esai shifted in his chair, their feet brushed under the table and the candle flame flickered.

‘You haven’t played much recently. Too many señoritas.’ Esai scolded, trying not to sound too serious.

Ben looked slightly offended. 'I can't help the fact that women find me attractive, Esai. I mean, have you SEEN my ass?'

Esai raised an eyebrow and cracked a lobster claw loudly.

‘Not enough.’

Ben raised an eyebrow right back, and shifted his thigh closer to Esai's under the table. Esai gulped noisily and his heart rate accelerated.

'You know you only need ask,' said Ben, suggestively.

‘Can you pass the salt?’ Esai asked.

He smirked and Ben reached across the table, his face moved closer and he stopped an inch from his lips and whispered huskily, ‘that’s not what I meant.’

Esai stared into Ben’s eyes for a moment, confused. 'So you won't pass the salt?' he asked.

Ben smiled, one of those bright types of smiles, like the one that had convinced his friend to go looking for the lobsters in the first place.

'No. actually, I had something completely different in mind,' his hand drifted to Esai's thigh, making the other man startle.

‘We haven’t had dessert…’

Ben’s hand moved further up between his legs and Esai’s heart skipped a beat.
‘I thought maybe we could have it after,’ Ben grinned and leaned across the table.

'I brought some chocolate mousse,' said Esai, hoping that Ben didn’t hear the nerves in his voice. He'd never even thought about another man the way he thought about Ben.

‘If you want, we could have it during…’ Ben suggested and Esai refused to look at Ben’s hand as it inched its way closer to his crotch, his hand spread heat across his skin and Ben stared at him and moved in closer.

'You're not uncomfortable with this are you?' asked Ben. He didn't want to ruin anything with his closest friend, after all. He would never force him to do anything he didn't want to do.

'No,' was all Esai said before Ben leaned forward and tentatively kissed him.

Esai’s breath caught in his throat and he pushed his lips harder against Ben’s and moaned as Ben’s hand moved under his shirt and up his chest. Ben smiled against Esai's demanding lips, he'd worried that his friend would freak out a little, but as eager hands worked their way towards his crotch again, he realised he should never have worried. There'd always been this spark between them, unmentioned until now, but always beneath the surface like a shark on the hunt for meat.

‘Ben…’ Esai groaned as Ben pulled him up and ripped his shirt off whilst he kissed him. His hands ran down Ben’s back and settled on his ass and he pulled him in close while Ben kissed down his neck. All fears flew out of Esai's mind, as Ben kissed his lips again and put his tongue in his mouth. He wanted this. He wanted Ben so much that it scared him. They groaned into each others mouths as they caressed each other, the lobster forgotten.

Esai gripped Ben’s waist and Ben moved the hands to his belt, encouraged him to undo it and Esai nervously opened his jeans and pushed his fingers into the warm denim.
The groan which escaped Ben's mouth encouraged Esai to delve deeper. His breath caught in his throat when his searching fingers made contact with Ben’s definitely interested cock. Even through the soft material of his underwear, Esai could feel the heat radiating off his friend and it made his head spin.

He needed more.

Ben seemed to sense it and kissed him harder, he thrust his tongue into his mouth and backed him up against the wall, pushing his crotch into Esai’s hand and groaning as he hardened in his fist. Esai’s eyes widened as he palmed him gently, listening to the groans escaping Ben’s mouth and he panted hard. Ben pulled away and looked at him for a second before he slid to his knees and pushed Esai harder against the wall with a hand against his stomach.

'Oh my God!' Esai gasped as Ben unzipped his trousers and pulled them down, leaving him standing there in his underwear. He looked down at Ben with hungry eyes, silently pleading with his friend to do what he simply could not ask aloud. Their eyes made contact, and Ben appeared to get the message, he had Esai's pants down, and his cock in his mouth in the blink of an eye.

Esai groaned loudly and thrust to the back of Ben’s throat, he closed his eyes and gripped Ben’s shoulder tightly as he let his head fall back and surrendered to the feeling of Ben sucking him down hard. His mouth was wet and warm and his lips slid over Esai’s hard flesh repeatedly, Ben hollowed his cheeks and leant up on his knees to take him deeper into his throat as Esai moaned loudly.

'God, Ben!'

Esai groaned again. He'd been sucked off before, but it'd never been like this. Ben sucked cock like he loved it more than anything else in the fucking world.
More than Mexico, even. And there wasn't much Ben loved more than Mexico!

'Ben...Ben,' he groaned as Ben took him even deeper into his throat. He could've come there and then, but he wanted more. It scared him more than anything but he wanted it, he knew he did.

'What do you want?' Ben asked, temporarily replacing his mouth with his hand around Esai's throbbing cock

'I....I' stammered Esai, 'I want you to fuck me.'

Ben grinned and stood up, his fist moving around Esai’s dick. He pulled him slowly as Esai’s hips jerked into the long hard strokes that made his breath shorten.

‘Stop.’ He closed his hand around Ben’s wrist and stopped him from moving. Ben stared at him and Esai leaned down slowly and whispered against his lips, ‘fuck me Ben.’

Ben smiled slowly and kissed him in reply, licked his tongue into Esai’s mouth and pushed against him closer as lust over took them both and they both frantically tore at their clothing. Ben wrenched his mouth away from Esai's and sank to his knees once more, this time pulling his friend down with him. Greedy hands tore at clothing, and anticipatory gasps and moans filled the air, accompanied by the gentle jazz music that Ben had insisted on playing during dinner.

‘Are you sure?’

Ben stared at Esai’s naked body and gave him one last chance to change his mind. He looked gorgeous in the candlelight and Ben’s hands wandered over his chest as he said it. His fingers traced muscle down to his groin and Esai bit his lip when Ben slid his hand between his legs and dropped his head to bite his shoulder.

‘Yes. I want you Ben.’

Esai pulled him down on top of him and dragged Ben’s lips back to his to kiss him hard.

'God, I want you, too,' confessed Ben, pausing their kiss. 'I can't tell you how much I've dreamed about this since we were paired up.'

He started to kiss Esai's neck again, and found his friend's sensitive spot. Esai groaned obscenely as Ben's hot tongue made contact with his ear.

‘Ben!’

Ben flicked his tongue and licked softly and Esai writhed beneath him. The candle light threw up shadows against the wall and the carpet was soft beneath their bodies, Ben linked their fingers together and held Esai’s arms above his head as he continued the torment to his ear slowly, a brush of lips made Esai shudder and his thighs tightened around Ben’s waist. Fingers fumbled with clothing some more until they were both finally naked on the floor of Ben's apartment.

They both gasped at the blazing heat of the skin to skin contact and Ben stretched out on top of his friend, as their tongues met once more in a passionate kiss. Esai allowed his hands to wander across Ben's back, caressing the muscles with the barest hint of fingernail, just enough to make Ben gasp in surprise and arch down into Esai’s body. He pulled his mouth away and tongued across Esai’s jaw as his fingers dragged harder down Ben’s back, encouraged by his desperate kisses and indulgent moans.

Esai gasped as Ben shifted on top of him and let him rub off against him, short thrusts of his cock against Ben’s hot skin and his hips jerked against the floor as Ben bit down on the hollow of his neck and sucked the skin there between his teeth.

'Ben, you're killing me!' gasped Esai. 'Just fucking do it. Please...killing me here.'

He groaned as Ben’s head moved lower and his teeth grazed a nipple.

'Fuck.....fuck me. Do it now.'

All of a sudden, Ben pulled away. Esai sighed sadly at the loss of contact. He physically reacted to the loss of Ben's body heat, reaching out to his friend automatically as he rummaged around in a nearby chest of drawers. After what seemed an age, Ben finally found what he was looking for - a medium sized foil tube, and returned to Esai's side. Esai was too aroused to be embarrassed as his body arched towards Ben's, desperate for some kind of contact. His cock was throbbing in the balmy Mexican night air, he needed to be touched.

Ben was sweet relief when he returned. Blissfully cool hands wrapped around his hot cock, caressed gently, just enough to make him groan loudly, in lust and desperation for more. Ben shushed him and cupped his cheek, thrust his hand into the pocket of his abandoned jeans and he pulled out a condom, ripped the wrapper off with his teeth and passed it to him. Esai took it and sat up slightly, kissed Ben as he rolled it on, his fingers twisted over his erection as he pushed it down and he felt Ben throb in his hand as he picked up the lube and rubbed some over the condom. Ben’s breath was shallow and he watched Esai’s hands work, stroking softly before lying back on the floor and looking up at Ben longingly.

They stayed in the same position for a few seconds, trying to calm their uneven breathing.

'You've never....' Ben almost whispered, his voice drifting off into nothing as Esai blushed and turned his eyes away.

'You have...' Esai started to ask. Ben just nodded. 'Will it hurt?' Esai mumbled, still unable to look his friend in the eyes as he spoke.

Ben slowly stroked a hand down his body until it came to rest on the inside of his thigh. He leant down and kissed him thoroughly, his mouth hot and wet and Esai tangled his fingers in the back of his hair and closed his eyes as Ben spread lube over his fingers and reached down.

‘I’ll go slow.’

Esai nodded and Ben kissed him again.

Ben was true to his word. His fingers were gentle. Despite this, Esai struggled to conquer his nerves as Ben stretched him further. Was he really about to do this? He'd never even thought of doing this with another man before meeting Ben. His head was drowning, trying to keep up with the pleasure Ben was giving him; deep, wet kisses to his mouth, neck and jaw, intended to distract him from the pain of the initial breach.
Esai groaned and Ben cupped his cheek and pushed his fingers in and out slower. Ben watched him as he twisted them and brushed over his prostate, grinning as Esai arched into him and thrust down on the fingers.

The feeling of Ben inside him and the pleasure he created as he fingered him more confidently made him gasp and he relaxed as Ben added a third, kissed his neck and murmured against his skin. Esai shuddered as Ben removed his fingers, knowing what was about to come. Ben seemed to sense his friend's apprehension, and placed a hand gently over Esai's heart, feeling it flutter under his fingers.

'I'll be gentle,' he murmured into Esai's ear, he smiled as his friend groaned at the sensation of hot breath on his ear. 'I wouldn't hurt you, you know that.'

Their eyes met, loving but clouded by lust, as Ben pushed inside, as slowly as his barely restrained lust allowed. Esai moaned as Ben's cock inched inside of him, so slow, and so fucking hot he could hardly bear it. It hurt a little at first, but Ben gave him some time to stretch around him and become used to the strange feeling. It was strange, the sensation of being so thoroughly filled threatened to overwhelm him. But Ben's butterfly soft touches kept him grounded, and focused on the act alone. Deciding that Esai was relaxed enough, Ben stared down at him and pulled out, thrust back in and buried his head in Esai’s neck as he set up a slow rhythm that left them both gasping.

Esai shifted and tried to relax more and Ben kissed him softly as he rolled his hips. Esai’s head fell back and he gripped Ben’s hips, pulled him in harder and groaned as he filled him. Esai lay his head back on the floor as Ben continued to thrust into him, he thought about the image they must make, screwing on the apartment floor like horny teenagers. He was amazed by how good it felt...how fucking good it felt when Ben hit that certain spot. Why hadn't he done this years ago?

Esai raised his head again, and thrust his tongue back into Ben's panting mouth, swallowing his friends moans of pleasure. Ben thrust in deeper and Esai’s nails dragged down Ben’s back, raked across his flesh and dug in painfully as they rocked together faster. He kissed him again to stifle a cry, wet and frantic lips pushing together as he lifted his hips to urge Ben inside him harder.

Esai could feel the pleasure building and building from deep inside. He wrapped his legs around Ben's hips, silently signalling that he was getting close. Then his lips drifted to Ben's neck, nuzzling the warm flesh. In a haze of inspiration and passion, he grazed the skin between shoulder and neck with his teeth, and dug them in a little. He wanted to mark Ben, something only he knew would be there, a brand of their passion. Ben hissed a little at first, but his quick breaths soon turned to moans as Esai latched onto him like a shark.

Ben groaned and bent over him closer, he hooked his arms around Esai’s shoulders and pushed him into the carpet, crying out as Esai bit his neck with those sharp teeth before wrenching his mouth back to Ben’s and kissing him hard. They panted and grunted and Ben closed his fist around his cock and stroked him, his hand tight and warm and enveloping Esai’s throbbing erection.

The pleasure was so intense that it was almost painful, and Esai knew that he couldn't last much longer. He could feel his orgasm creeping up on him.

'Going to......going to come,' he panted and growled as Ben hit his prostate again. Oh, God! Ben's fist tightened on Esai's dick.

'Me....too,' gasped Ben, as he thrust harder and harder. It was so fucking good that he could barely form words.

The noises that filled the air were positively obscene, but neither of the men had the awareness to remember that the window was wide open, and they weren't making any attempts to be quiet. All they could think about was each other, and the fucking amazing, bone-melting pleasure of this moment. Esai came first, with a dark moan that Ben could feel through his cock.

'Fuck!'

Esai almost screamed as the pleasure washed over him. His eyes were clenched shut as if he couldn't bear to open them.

'Oh, shit!'

Ben gasped as his cock was tortured by the unbelievable pressure of his friend contracting around him. He came, hard and loud, thrusting gently through it and when the wave of pleasure stopped, they continued to rock together, utterly exhausted.

Esai finally let his legs drop from Ben’s waist and Ben rested on him for a second before he pulled out of him slowly. Esai murmured quietly and Ben kissed him as he eased himself out, stroked his cheek and bent his head to kiss and lick sweat from Esai’s neck.
Esai finally allowed himself to open his eyes and look up a Ben. He flushed a little when he saw that Ben was covered in his come. Ben just grinned and licked his own fingers, which were also covered in his friend's come.

'S'good,' smiled Ben as he leaned down to kiss Esai, who startled a little at the first taste of himself on Ben's tongue.

'You okay?' asked Ben, touching Esai's cheek, affectionately.

‘Mmmm…’

Esai caught Ben’s hand and slowly took a finger into his mouth, he sucked it, swept his tongue around and bit it lightly as Ben watched before he released it and kissed him again. ‘I’m fantastic.’

'Hey!' grinned Ben, 'not as fantastic as me, I'll have you know!' He lay down on the floor, next to Esai, still a little out of breath.

'Oh yeah?' asked Esai, raising an eyebrow.

'Definitely,' Ben turned his head to nibble on his friend's ear. 'It has to be sampled to be believed. You'll never go back, I'll tell you that.'

Esai sighed happily as Ben licked and kissed behind his ear. His legs ached and his pulse was still beating hard.

‘Why would I want to?’

Ben grinned and kissed him again, his tongue lightly parted his lips and slowly explored his mouth as their breathing returned to normal.

'Maybe next time you can do me,' Ben whispered into Esai's mouth.

Esai was speechless for a moment as his brain processed this, then smiled and said, 'deal. Should I provide the lobster next time?'

Ben grinned and thought about making a joke about wetsuits again but Esai’s hand was wandering down his chest and he was speaking again.

'You realise the window's open,' Esai said, nodding over to the window and noting the half eaten lobster abandoned on the table. Ben followed his gaze and laughed, warmly.

'Half the resort probably just heard us,' Esai laughed. It was impossible not to, Ben's laugh was wonderfully infectious.

'Well we gave them a fucking good show,' said Ben, still laughing.

'Better than those chicas singing down at the club?' asked Esai, eyebrow raised.

'Esai, the sharks'd put on a better show than those chicas at the club.' quipped Ben, causing them both to collapse into laughter again, not that they really stopped in the first place.

Esai sat up and reached for his clothes. 'I should go,' he said, still chuckling. 'I have to report for work early tomorrow. I have a feeling that asshole Ruiz will know we were slacking today. And it's always me that gets the blame.'

'You need to be more charming,' Ben winked, suggestively.

'Are you suggesting I flirt with Mr. Ruiz?' asked Esai as he pulled himself to his feet and started to get dressed.

Ben put his arms behind his head and watched as Esai pulled his jeans on slowly. ‘I’m suggesting you just flirt more in general. Preferably with me, rather than Ruiz.’

‘I think we’re past flirting.’ He raised an eyebrow and Ben grinned and pulled him back down to the floor. Esai laughed again as he stumbled into his arms and landed heavily on top of him. He kissed him as Ben laughed back and dragged Esai’s legs back around his waist to make him straddle him.

'Ben,' Esai said, drawing back from their kiss. 'I really do have to go, you know.'

'No you don't,' purred Ben, moving his hands to rest on Esai's denim clad ass. 'You wanna stay, finish the lobster I caught for you, and go for another round. Do me, right?'

'As much as it pains me, and believe me, it does,' Esai said, as he craftily put pressure on Ben's balls with his free hand. Ben gasped, making Esai grin, widely. 'You and that lobster have probably already gotten me in trouble. So I have. To. Go.'

'You tease,' said Ben in mock annoyance, shamelessly rubbing against his friend. Esai gathered all of his self restraint in order to pull himself away from Ben's grip, and off the floor. Esai laughed openly at Ben's little pout.

How was it possible for someone to look so fucking sexy while pouting, naked on the floor? Actually, Esai thought, it was probably the sexiest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

Esai pulled on his t-shirt and suddenly remembered something. He smiled to himself as he crossed the room to Ben's small kitchenette and retrieved the chocolate mousse he'd brought for dessert from the fridge.

'What are you doing?' asked Ben warily, as Esai approached him with the bowl.

'We forgot dessert,' said Esai, suggestively. 'I made this especially, you know.'

'You made this?' asked Ben, he sure hadn't guessed his friend was good in the kitchen. This new piece of information had infinitely sexy possibilities, Ben decided.

Of course, when you were Ben Carpenter, most things had infinitely sexy possibilities.

Esai finally stopped sucking his finger, and dipped it into the bowl again. This time though, he smeared the sticky mouse on Ben's naked chest. He chuckled at Ben's gasped protest about the sudden cold.

'What are you doing?' Ben asked again.

'Leaving you something to remember me by,' said Esai as he smeared even more of the mousse onto the body of his friend turned lover.

'No...no chance of me forgetting you, Esai,' Ben said, wincing still at the cold.

Esai smiled at Ben's response. He knew he'd have trouble sleeping tonight, thanks to the image of Ben naked on the floor, covered with chocolate mousse.
That was enough to keep anyone awake.

He decided that Ben had enough to remember him by, and returned the bowl to the fridge. Before he left though, he returned to Ben and kissed him, sharing the taste of the mousse with him.

'You're an impossible man, Esai,' muttered Ben, through the kiss.

'Says the master,' replied Esai. 'I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early.' He pulled away from Ben and headed for the door. 'Remember my coffee,' said Esai, trying his hardest to sound normal, not like he was physically shaking with the effort of leaving Ben like this, naked and chocolatey.

'Have I ever forgotten your coffee?' asked Ben, grinning.

When he reached the safety of the doorway, Esai turned back, resting his shoulder on the frame to steady himself. 'Goodnight Ben,' Esai said softly, smiling at Ben, who was making no effort to get up.

'I knew that lobster was a good idea,' said Ben, playfully. 'Stroke of genius if I do say so, myself.'

'Now I've had first hand experience with your stroking technique, I can agree with that,' said Esai as he opened the door and walked out, closing it softly behind him.

On the floor, Ben laughed loudly and happily. He really was a fucking genius.

END

A/N: Sorry for all the author notes…

SHARK ATTACK 3 MEGALODON - OMG ME AND LUCY MADE PORN

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:28:47 GMT

OMG ME AND lucy_locket MADE PORN!

HELLO LOVELY F-LIST!

Kisses to all of you, I had the most brilliant day, I hope you are all well and if not I send hugs and secret pictures from GDL's dressing room. (You know what pics I'm talking about too...) If only ;)

Anyway - me and the gorgeously delectable lucy_locket have written porn! We did it over msn and it's...

John Barrowman Porn - of the Shark Attack 3 Megalodon variety!

If you haven't seen the film where John battles a variety of insanely sized sharks that have a kink for electricity and can literally eat boats whole you haven't lived.

So JB is Ben and he is a lifeguard, his lifeguarding partner is Esai and they catch lobster together for dinner. Clearly sex ensues.

The film is completely dreadful in its naffness and that makes it brilliant. It's badness makes it amazing and it's quite possibly the greatest film ever!

So we wrote fic that...compliments the style lol, it's Lucy's first time writing porn so its only fair I made her do most of the sex bits...

It's cringe and awesome and we laughed our pants off doing it - Anyway, slashy, porny, fish centered fic is written, edited and being posted tomorrow night, check it out if you want!

It's called 'What the Lobster Saw' and here is a little preview:

'Ben sucked cock like he loved it more than anything else in the fucking world.
More than Mexico, even. And there wasn't much Ben loved more than Mexico!

xxxxxx

Ben looked slightly offended. 'I can't help the fact that women find me attractive, Esai. I mean, have you SEEN my ass?'

Esai raised an eyebrow and cracked a lobster claw loudly.

‘Not enough.’

xxxxxx

There'd always been this spark between them, unmentioned until now, but always beneath the surface like a shark on the hunt for meat.

xxxxxx

LOL! I bet you can hardly contain yourselves!

Abby.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLIES!

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:58:33 GMT

Double post tonight for my girls, Fliss and Jenni, put_that_away and butterflycell - HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELIES!
Two little, tiny ficlets that started as drabbles and grew a bit.
Jenni's request is ALWAYS fluffy innocent bed fic so I took that for both but one went angsty and one went kind of smutty...Also thank you to lovely bassair for being asked to beta and then being cruelly rejected because I can't or won't or can't do deadlines...

Title: Birthday Suit.
Rating: NC15 probably. I never know. Smut kind of.
Warnings/Spoilers: Nothing.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Fluffy innocent bad fic that took was meant to be innocent! I swear! But my fingers were typing and then Ianto put his hands under the sheets and I digressed. I’m sorry…
A/N: For Jenni. Happy Birthday hun, lots of love. xxx

‘Gwen wants to have a birthday party for you.’

Ianto sighed from the bed and watched Jack glance at his shirt on the floor, think about leaving and he tensed until he felt him settle back into the mattress instead and pull him close, run his fingers softly through his hair and he smiled as he felt Jack’s chest move softly beneath his head as he breathed deeply.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. She cornered me about it earlier.’

Ianto hesitated, he hadn’t discussed his birthday with Jack yet. Didn’t really know how to broach the subject or what he thought Jack might think he was expecting if he did. And that would be just as confusing for both of them because he didn’t know what he was expecting really.

‘What did she say?’

‘That it was your birthday next week, and she had a plan of what to do.’

‘Oh.’ Ianto tried not to appear too interested and Jack stifled a yawn as he made himself more comfortable under the duvet.

‘What did you say?’

‘That I had a plan already.’ Jack stared at the ceiling as Ianto frowned to himself.

‘You do?’

‘Yes.’

They lay in silence, only the silent glow from the bedside lamp shining and creating shadows across the wall that disturbed the stillness. Ianto sighed and turned to his side, leaned up on his elbow and peered down at Jack, letting curiosity get the better of him and Jack looked back like he knew it would.

‘What’s her plan?’

‘I’m not sure.’ Jack shook his head and shrugged, ‘what do you do normally do for birthdays?’

‘Open crap cards that try to be funny but aren’t,’ Ianto mused and tried to keep his face neutral as Jack watched him curiously, ‘get presents that you don’t really need, singing that no one really wants to do and moan about being old whilst not actually feeling that different.’

‘Sounds cheery.’

‘You don’t…have birthdays?’

Jack raised his eyebrows and shifted up to face him, ‘once you need more than a hundred candles on your cake it gets a bit crowded.’ Ianto rolled his eyes and Jack stared at him, ‘age is a bit of an ambiguous topic for me don’t you think?’

‘Hmmm.’ There wasn’t much more to do than agree and Jack knew it, drew the duvet back around them and settled back down before Ianto spoke again. ‘So…what was your plan?’

Jack grinned and angled his body slightly over Ianto’s, he could feel Jack’s legs entwining with his and his foot brushing up his calf as he leaned over him and murmured quietly, linking their hands together as he did and Ianto waited.

‘To have sex with you a lot.’

He looked down at him as he kissed him soundly, hard and reached his hand beneath the quilt, over Ianto’s stomach and further down as if to illustrate the point, Ianto’s breath caught in his throat and escaped in a deep groan as Jack’s fingers danced over his thigh and moved to stroke between his legs teasingly.

‘I prefer that plan.’

‘I thought you might.’

Jack grinned, kissed him and Ianto smiled to himself as he opened his legs to let him rest between, ran his hands up his back and tangled them in his hair as Jack moved over him and on him and against him slowly.

‘Did you have anything special in mind?’ Ianto gasped as Jack dipped his head, kissed down his throat as they shifted together beneath the sheets, heat building and limbs twisting together as Jack tried to wrap around him closer whilst he replied.

‘Well I know a few birthday games - and I like the idea of party hats…I might even jump out a cake if you want – ‘He let out a moan as Ianto pulled his hips down and closer and ground against him, firm but slow, ‘I have to warn you though I did that once and was in completely the wrong place – it’s not good to jump out of a pink cake during a funeral…’

Ianto almost laughed but Jack pulled him up, rolled over and let Ianto straddle him and kiss down his chest. ‘I believe you.’

Jack grinned. ‘So you want anything?’

‘What do you mean?’ Ianto looked up from kissing his abdomen for a second before resuming where he left off, licking and biting and watching Jack from the corner of his eye as he did it.

‘Gifts. A birthday gift. Anything in particular you want?’

‘You want to get me a gift?’

‘Shouldn’t I?’

Ianto sat up and let the duvet drop off his shoulders, he never expected to be having a conversation about what Jack wanted to do for his birthday whilst he was naked and hard and practically in the middle of sex, mind you, it wasn't the oddest thing he had done during sex, Jack was always surprising. ‘No – no. No. It’s not that, just…’ He shifted slightly, lifting off Jack’s thighs for a moment and staring at him, ‘what were you thinking?’

‘I don’t know,’ Jack shrugged, ‘I did think about a tie or something and I’m sure there was a joke about birthday suits in there somewhere but I hadn’t finished it yet. It would have been funny though.’

Ianto rolled his eyes and leant back over him, kissing him softly and speaking into his mouth as he did. ‘Of course.’

They kissed again until Jack broke it to look at him seductively, ‘so there’s ‘the plan’…anything else you want?’

Ianto hesitated for a second and shook his head, looking down at him and running a hand up his chest. ‘No. Just you.’

‘Just me?’

‘Yes.’

Ianto nodded at Jack’s grin and found himself being pushed back down into the mattress.

‘That can be arranged.’

‘Good...’ Jack kissed him again, longer, his tongue brushing against Ianto’s, his eyes closed until Ianto murmured against his lips, drawing his legs up around Jack’s waist and gripping his shoulders.

‘Do I get to unwrap you?’

Jack grinned and moved down his body, his reply muffled as he disappeared beneath the sheets and Ianto lay back comfortably.

‘I’ll even wear a bow.’

Ianto grinned and thrust his hands in Jack’s hair, closed his eyes and started creating details for 'the plan.'

‘Happy Birthday to me.’

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLIES!

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:44:44 GMT

Double post tonight for my girls, Fliss and Jenni, put_that_away and butterflycell - HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELIES!
Two little, tiny ficlets that started as drabbles and grew a bit.
Jenni's request is ALWAYS fluffy innocent bed fic so I took that for both but one went angsty and one went kind of smutty...Also thank you to lovely bassair for being asked to beta and then being cruelly rejected because I can't or won't or can't do deadlines...
Anyway in no paticular order:

Title: Classic
Rating: Erm NC15 probably. I never know.
Warnings/Spoilers: Nothing. (Maybe language.)
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Fluffy innocent bad fic that took a turn for the angst…Fliss does this all the time we have fluff deficiencies so this is for her.
A/N: For Fliss. Happy Birthday hun, lots of love.xxx

Sheaths of random moonlight escaped the curtains that shifted softly from the night breeze wafting in through the open window, illuminating them momentarily as the moon rays ran across Ianto’s room and the pair of them in his bed. Jack put his hands behind his head and Ianto absently traced patterns on his chest, listening to his breathing evening out and closing his eyes as Jack leaned down and brushed a kiss against the top of his head. Ianto ached just right and rested lightly against his bare skin, sharing warmth and feeling the thrum of Jack’s heart against his palm, listened to it slow and steady and smiled as he noted the contrast from just half an hour before when it had hammered hard against Ianto’s – Jack held over him and in him and on him and fucking him, sweat and grunts and Ianto had gripped the head board and cried out against his shoulder as Jack had thrust inside him deep and they had come together in a tangle of limbs and sheets. Ianto realised he was lost in the memory and tapping the rhythm of Jack’s heart beat against his hip without noticing, he shook the thoughts from his head and glanced up at him.

‘Do you know when your birthday is?’

‘What?’

‘You’re birthday.’ Ianto repeated, almost smiling at Jack’s confused expression, ‘how do you work out when it is?’

‘I don’t know.’ Jack shook his head and stared at him blankly, ‘I don’t really have birthdays…one of the things that make me so ageless.’ He grinned. ‘And youthful. And handsome.’

Ianto rolled his eyes and shifted up the mattress, lay facing him and raised an eyebrow accusingly, ‘old, you mean.’

Jack’s eyes widened and he scowled, ‘I’m not old!’

‘It’s alright ,’ Ianto nodded solemnly and moved closer to him, their breath mingling as they sat millimetres apart, Ianto glanced down Jack’s body appreciatively before flicking his eyes back to him and murmuring against his lips, ‘I prefer older men.’

Jack sucked in a breath and ignored Ianto’s fingers wandering down his stomach, tracing muscle and moving slowly down, ‘I’m not old.’ Ianto’s hand moved between his thighs and Jack stopped it and stared at him intently, ‘if anything I’m timeless. Classic even – like fine Scotch or Glen Miller.’

‘Tastes good and blows well?’

Ianto’s wrist flexed in his grip and he dropped his head to kiss Jack’s chest, hiding his grin as Jack tried not to laugh, scowled again instead and let go of him, grinning against his lips as Ianto moved up to kiss him. He moaned softly as Jack licked into his mouth, tongues sliding wetly together and he closed his eyes before Jack broke it, moved Ianto until he was lying down again, his head resting back on his chest as he sighed.

‘Maybe I am too old for you. I’m not saying I look old. I don’t look old do I?’’

‘No Jack.’

‘I didn’t think so. Just…maybe I’m too old for you.’ He sighed and stared at him sadly, ‘you’re so young.’

Ianto frowned and looked up at him.

‘Maybe age doesn’t mean what it means normally if you work for Torchwood.’

They both knew it - knew that he probably shouldn’t look past thirty five but would anyway because mortality never quite worked out how you expected and his life was far from expected at the moment. Ianto looked at him as he thought, if death was the inevitability of life then the immortal in his bed made life look like a stupid joke and mortality a filthy liar and so Ianto would look past thirty five, would hold onto that possibility – hold onto Jack and the possibilities he represented and wonder if maybe his life would carry on being not quite how he expected. He grinned and looked him up and down, ‘besides you don’t look a day over forty and forty’s nothing these days...’

‘FORTY!’ Jack growled and flipped him on his back, laughing as Ianto fought back and he pinned him down, kissing him soundly and staring at him for a second too long before flopping back into the mattress and pulling him into his arms again.

‘I’m joking obviously,’ Ianto nodded against him, ‘not forty.’ He looked up at him and smirked, ‘I meant thirty nine…’

‘Good night.’ Jack ignored him and reached across his body, flicked the small bedside light off and settled into the darkness.

‘You’re right.’ Ianto murmured sleepily as Jack turned into his body and closed his eyes, ‘get some beauty sleep Jack. You need it at your age.’

Jack grinned softly and waited until he was asleep before whispering, ‘Happy Birthday, Ianto’ into the dark and kissing him lingeringly. He sighed and ran a hand down Ianto’s cheek before closing his eyes and dreaming of old age.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:33:15 GMT

HELLO LOVELY F-LIST!

TODAY IS thrace_adams 'S BIRTHDAY

WOOP!!!!!!!

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER, SHE IS COMMENT AND VIDEO MAKER EXTROADINAIRE!

HOPE YOU HAD A LOVELY DAY DARLIN!

XXX

Between Someplace and Something

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:49:11 GMT

Title: Between Someplace and Something.
Rating: NC17
Warnings/Spoilers: Explicit sex. (Kind of jealousy smut.)
Characters: Jack/Ianto (Also v.brief Jack/OMC)
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: One mans night in is another mans night out.
A/N: Couldn’t sleep. Wrote this. F*ck knows why. Enjoy the porn.

Jack rolled his eyes. This was boring, he was bored. Outside a bar and for once it wasn’t raining and Jack had time, all the time in the world - for a bit anyhow, and the guy was a looker - blonde and pretty, young, twenty probably but he didn’t taste right and he smelled different and even though he was clearly hard against Jack’s body, Jack wasn’t. He stared off into the night as the blonde moved in to kiss down his neck and Jack realised he wasn’t paying attention in the slightest, something Ianto had accused him of just the other day during a debrief about…something. He grinned at the memory - Ianto was making him grin a lot these days. The blonde licked across to his collar bone and his hair tickled Jack’s jaw annoyingly as he reached a hand down to his crotch and looked back up at him, slightly breathless and an almost cute - if it wasn’t so annoying - confused look on his face as he stroked Jack’s absent hard on through his trousers.

‘What’s wrong?’

Jack shook his head, ‘nothing. I’m just tired,’ he grimaced at himself, ‘and old, way too old for you definitely. I’ll see you around. Or maybe not.’

He shrugged and the blonde frowned as Jack pushed him off in the direction of a passing crowd exiting the bar and moved away from the wall, wrapped his coat around himself and set off quickly. He wasn’t sure why he walked past the SUV until he realised where he was automatically heading.

Ianto rubbed the tiredness from his eyes as he heard a loud banging from the hallway and wrenched himself up off the sofa, padding softly to the front door and opening it slowly. Jack was leaning against it and Ianto smiled sleepily as he greeted him.

‘Captain.’

Jack’s eyes travelled down Ianto’s body, black t-shirt and worn green combat trousers, hands slung deep in the pockets and a large brown leather belt and Jack thought he might come from the sight. He dragged his eyes back up to Ianto’s and gazed at him.

‘I thought you objected to uniform?’

‘No.’ Ianto stared back intently, ‘I’m just better at suits.’

‘You can tie a tie on anything...’ Jack mused thoughtfully and continued to stare at him as they both remembered the incident that ruined Ianto’s favourite red silk tie.

‘Are you going to let me in or do I have to stand out here all night?’

‘I don't have to.’

Ianto’s eyes flickered to Jack’s lips and he shifted slightly as Jack watched him, waited until he looked him in the eyes again before closing the distance between them and banging the door shut behind him. He pushed Ianto against the wall and kissed him hard, ran hands down his chest and forced against him with his hips, Ianto’s hands moved out of his pockets and quickly to the back of Jack’s head burying them in his hair and pulling his mouth closer as the kissed desperately. Jack pushed his hands up under his shirt, moaning at hard warm skin beneath his fingers and Ianto thrusting his tongue into his mouth as he drove them over to the other side of the hallway, backing Jack against the wall hard and smiling as he grunted at the impact.

The noise from the TV got louder as the adverts came on and they ignored it, Jack shrugged his coat off and Ianto pulled away just enough to yank his shirt over his head as Jack quickly unbuttoned his, pulling it away with his undershirt. He groaned as Ianto crashed back into him, their bare chests meeting and Ianto’s lips moved bitingly down his jaw, tongue barely touching across his neck and Jack’s head thumped back as Ianto started to suck his pulse greedily, lingering for a second too long and Jack wavered as his head snapped up to look at him. Ianto realised where he had been.

Jack gazed at him and Ianto looked back dangerously, leaned his head into his neck again, inhaled deeply and kissed with a lick as he tasted him before looking back up at him. Jack’s eyes flashed with guilt for a second before glancing away and rerouting, he wouldn’t apologise. Ianto knew he wouldn’t and he knew he wouldn’t because always this - this desperate longing and visits in the night and unspoken words that died on his lips in kisses and staying until morning in Ianto’s bed was apology enough. He dropped his gaze to Ianto’s chest, dipping his head and kissing down his collar bone, moaning appreciatively as he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked it as Ianto held him there for second before moving him to the other one. Jack licked it softly and cupped Ianto’s erection through the combat trousers as Ianto arched into hands and mouth and let another moan escape his lips.

He squeezed his erection gently and Ianto pulled his head back up, kissed him and bit his lip as Jack’s hands tugged his belt, growling as he fumbled with the buckle and Ianto grinned, reached down to help, tangling their fingers together as they undid it and opened his trousers. He moved away to do Jack’s too and barely got it open and his flies undone before he thrust his hand into his boxers. He slowed down, kissed Jack with a moan as he took his dick in his hand and wrapped his fingers around it, pulling expertly as Jack breathed hard against his neck and moved his hips, pushing himself more into his grip and hardening in his fist.

‘Stop.’

Ianto’s hand moved down and back up torturously slowly as Jack panted at him to stop again, grabbed his wrist and Ianto stared at him, challenged him with his eyes as he rolled his hips against Jack’s and watched him fight back a groan before pushing him down the corridor. He kissed him as the walked a few paces to the stairs, Ianto stumbled against the second step and bought Jack down on top of him, wrapping a leg around his and pushing their crotches together as he laughed before kissing him again. The stairs dug into his back and Ianto ran his fingernails across Jack’s back, pulled his trousers down over his arse and squeezed it hard, pulling him closer and lifting his hips to rub against him. The metal fastening of his belt clanked noisily around his thighs and Jack pulled away breathless, stood up and removed his boots and trousers as quickly as he could. Ianto leaned against the stairs with one elbow, ignoring the pain in his back as Jack wrenched his boxers off his foot and he put his hand in his trouser, pushed his fingers into his underwear and stroked himself as Jack watched fixatedly whilst undressing.

‘Sex on the stairs isn’t comfortable,’ Jack said quietly, his voice rough and Ianto’s hand moved under the material of his combats, rubbing and working himself slowly and Jack wanted to see - was getting harder as the large bulge between his legs was manipulated firmly and Ianto’s groan at his own hand resonated through his body. He reached out to touch him and Ianto quickly stopped, stood and went up the stairs, walked purposefully to his bedroom door and decisively through it as Jack took a second to recover before following.

He walked in as Ianto kicked his trousers off and pulled him across the floor, pushed him down on the bed and straddled him as they kissed. Jack moved his arms above his head and Ianto held them there, thrusting against him as they kissed quickly, lips working against lips and both of them groaned rhythmically at every short push against each other. Ianto reached a hand out to the bedside table and fumbled with the drawer, pulling out lube and a condom. He silenced Jack with a look since they both knew where he’d been tonight and now was not the time to discuss it - not when Ianto was tearing it open with this teeth and reaching down to take his dick in one hand, rolled it on with the other and quickly slicked him up, fingers moving over him deftly and Jack felt himself throb as Ianto’s thumb nail scraped ever so lightly just there and his fist twisted just like he liked. He leaned down to kiss him and opened the lube, squeezing out a lot and spreading it over his fingers he sat back on Jacks thighs and held his gaze, reached his arm behind his back and arched up on one hand as the other pushed two fingers inside himself and his face contorted for a second before he twisted them and pulled them back out. Jack sat up slightly and wrapped a hand around his erection running his thumb over the slit as Ianto gasped, fingering himself as Jack pulled him slowly and he pushed down on his own hand a couple more times as Jack watched, before lurching forward and kissing him messily.

Ianto sat up and pushed Jack back down into the mattress, took his erection in his hand and moved over him before thrusting down on it hard and slow, let him inside his body as Jack forced himself not to push up and closed his eyes tightly, opening them after a moment when Ianto started to move. Both of them groaned loudly as he fucked him fast, Jack’s hands reaching up behind him to grip the headboard as Ianto moved and positioned himself until his mouth fell open and his body clenched and Jack knew he was angled just right to grip his hips hard and pull him down harder, press up into him deeper and make him cry out as he rode him.

Sweat beaded on his shoulders and his stomach clenched as he ground down onto him, around him and Jack’s hands grabbed blindly, nails dragging down his chest and fingers gripped hips bruisingly as he held him. Ianto growled as Jack pushed him, pulled him, asked for more, and harder and faster and yes, yes, yes, his toes curled and Ianto thrust down hard once more, arched back and took him deeper and Jack sat up against him as he came, his orgasm ripping through him and he buried his face in Ianto’s neck, lifting himself off the bed with one hand, the other clinging tight around his chest as he tried to bury himself as far inside Ianto as he could before falling back into the mattress, his chest heaving as he panted.

Ianto leaned forward and rolled his hips, kissed him as Jack responded lazily and ran his hands up and down Ianto’s back soothingly, still more than half hard inside him and he looked up at him, kissed him quickly before lying back down. He held Ianto close as he leaned over him, gasped against his lips, still working Jack inside him as he ground down onto him slowly, biting the inside of his cheek as Jack continued to move, nudging his prostate repeatedly. Ianto watched him steadily and let his hand fall to his erection, closing it around Jack’s fist and murmuring in the back of his throat as he sped up his movements, thrusting down on him and back up into their combined fists and shuddering as he came. He stilled their hands as he jerked his hips in shallow movements, closing his eyes and Jack held him and kissed him as he rode out the last vestiges of his orgasm, his fingers squeezing gently until Ianto whimpered at him to stop, fell forward onto this chest and ran his fingers through his hair. He let Jack pull out of him slowly after a few seconds and dropped back onto the mattress, lying next to him as Jack took off the condom and tied it quickly before throwing it in the bin and lying back down heavily.

They stared at the ceiling in silence for a second - an age, a few moments of mere stillness before Ianto turned suddenly, moved his face into Jack’s throat and inhaled as he kissed him like before, his tongue darting out and licking sweat from the hollow of his neck and this time when he looked back up he was smiling. Jack tasted like Jack again and the foreign smell was gone and Ianto had him back and Jack kissed him for a moment, turned to face him and stared at him in the moonlight.

‘Are you going to ask me to stay?’

‘I don’t have to.’

Ianto ran a hand down his chest and settled into the bed, moving into Jack’s arms and letting his eyes shut. Jack waited until he was breathing evenly and safely asleep before he closed his too.

A/N 2: Oh well, probably one of the worst things I’ve written but I was horny.

Nothing's fair in Love and War - 9/10

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:18:57 GMT

Title: Nothing’s fair in Love and War - 9/10
Rating: NC17 for the whole thing.
Warnings/Spoilers: Set after Series 2. Slash/Language.
Characters: Torchwood Team Fic – Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Sequel to my fic – Sex, Lies and CCTV. Jack and Ianto deal with the end of their relationship.
A/N: Because we people love our quaint little categories, Jack.
Incredibly huge thank you to my lovely, gorgeous and talented little beta bassair for the completely awesome violation of my work and total molestation of my commas. You rock hun, thank you. Dedicated to everyone still reading…

All Previous Parts Linked Here

‘Every society by its own practice of living and by the mode of relatedness, of feelings, and perceiving, develops a system of categories.’ Erich Fromm.

xxxxxxx

‘Give me a chip.’

‘I love it when you’re romantic.’

Jack smiled at him and Ianto rolled his eyes as he handed him a chip. A small chip.

‘I thought romance was dead in this specific period of time, isn’t that they say – romance is dead?’

‘No. Just subject to cynicism and shamelessly overlooked by Captains who steal my chips,’ Ianto grumbled as Jack took a handful and ate them smugly, ‘would it kill you to have some manners ever?’

The sky around them darkened and the night air started to bite as they sat outside and ate slowly.

‘I don’t know, I’ve died in many different ways and a use of manners was never one, though now I come to think about it - there was this one time.’ He settled back and Ianto rolled his eyes as he picked at his now lukewarm food, ‘I had a boyfriend in the Luxlock Galaxy and we didn’t quite get the language right, tricky inflections – you think Welsh is a…umm...’ He glanced at Ianto steadily glaring at him and cleared his throat. ‘Unique…language with its complete prejudice against vowels, its nothing compared to Luxlockian. Anyway, this boyfriend was a bit, hyperactive –‘

‘Jack?’

‘Yeah?’

Ianto sighed and threw the chip wrapper in the bin.

‘Do you know how often you tell me about old boyfriends or girlfriends?’

‘Well…I’ve had a few,’ Jack said, leaning back and watching Ianto steadily.

‘I don’t doubt it. I’m not arguing with you about it, it’s just…’

‘What?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ He stood up and shook his head. ‘Forget it.’

‘Ianto…What?’

‘Nothing.’ Jack raised an eyebrow questioningly and Ianto glanced away, ‘I just wonder where I stand sometimes. In the grand scheme of things. In your life and in my life.’ Jack stared at him and Ianto cleared his throat and continued, ‘you know, in whatever it is we are. I mean, our…thing. Me. With you. You know. Where…exactly it is…’ He sighed frustratedly at him, ‘are you going to let me keep talking this crap or are you going to save me?’

‘I thought I’d let you carry on until you blushed. Red’s so –‘

‘My colour. I know,’ Ianto interrupted, sitting down again, turning to him and staring hard, ‘Jack, I just want you to tell me what we are.’

‘You want a definition?’

‘Yes.’

‘You people and your quaint little –‘

‘Categories,’ Ianto predicted blandly and Jack frowned at the new finishing sentences thing that Ianto had going on, he surely wasn’t predictable. He couldn’t be predictable already. ‘I know. Jack…I –‘

‘Ianto. What do you want to be?’

‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged and Jack sat forward purposefully.

‘Well, lets see. Twenty first century relationship terms: husband?’

‘You’d have to marry me first,’ Ianto deadpanned and Jack grinned widely.

‘Good point. We’d never find the time. Although I do like your wedding fairy outfit….’

Ianto glared at him.

‘Fiancé?’

‘Are you proposing?’ he asked sarcastically and Jack patted down his chest.

‘I don’t have a ring.’

‘Can’t do that one then,’ Ianto replied.

‘Boyfriend?’

‘No.’

‘Why?’ Jack frowned at him and Ianto shook his head.

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you always talk about your boyfriends. I don’t want to be just another story.’

Jack rolled his eyes. ‘You realise you won’t be there when I tell the story…About my boyfriend who doesn’t like being referred to as my boyfriend.’

‘Jack,’ Ianto warned and Jack stopped grinning.

‘Lover?’

Ianto mused for a second before thinking back to last night and the fast and rough yet satisfying blow jobs in the SUV that had left them breathless and smiling for at least half an hour. Until returning to his and not making it to the front door before Jack’s tongue was down his throat and Ianto had his hand down Jack’s trousers. Not exactly lovers.

‘Probably not entirely accurate.’

His eyes had that far off look and Jack grinned at him before deciding on another. ‘Better half?’

‘Do you mean you’re mine or am I yours?’

‘I’m definitely yours.’

Ianto frowned. ‘No then.’

‘Partner?’

‘Partner?’

‘Yeah.’ Jack nodded and Ianto looked at him.

‘Partner…’ Ianto rolled the word in his mouth and Jack glanced down his body wondering if he’d ever get Ianto into bed anytime soon or if this was going to take a while because as far he was concerned, Ianto was his boyfriend.

‘Partner? Okay,’ he decided and leaned across. Jack moved his hand to the back of his head pulling him in slowly and kissing him softly, smiling against his lips and letting his hand wander down into his jacket and up his chest as Ianto pulled away and kissed him once again quickly.

‘God you’re such hard work,’ Jack sighed.

Ianto smiled and kissed him again, ‘I’m worth it.’

‘I know.’

xxxxxxxxxxx

‘What will we tell Gwen?’

Ianto looked up from his coffee, his eyes sweeping over Jack watching him from his position sitting on the side. In clothes. Kind of. Finally. He would be completely exhausted if he wasn’t so full of adrenaline and caffeine, it had been about twenty seven hours since he had last slept and even longer since he had slept well and he wasn’t sure how he had gotten to this point. Standing next to Jack, looking stupidly in love and having breakfast (well; drinking breakfast) like normal but everything had changed. He was quietly certain that this was probably how it was going to be with Jack now - how it had always been really, if he thought about it properly. Somehow forever ending up somewhere and not remotely sure how you got there or why but knowing you didn’t want to be anywhere else. He stifled a yawn and sipped his coffee again.

‘You don’t think she’ll just walk in unannounced and find us trying to inappropriately avoid office work?’

‘Well. That would be more fun.’ Jack grinned and jumped down, his eyes sparkling as he pulled Ianto towards him by his shirt, their bare feet scrunching against the cold metal floor and Jack wrapped his arms around his waist and linked his fingers behind him. ‘But I think we should tell her.’

‘Tell her what?’ Ianto asked nonchalantly, draining his coffee, Jack’s proximity making it more of a task than it should be but when you are being effectively held hostage by him in the kitchen it might as well be when you can feel his bare chest against your t-shirt and smell him whilst you finish your coffee and touch the warm skin of his stomach with your fingertips and have the memory of his tongue inside you still fresh in your mind.

‘That we’re back together. That you finally saw the light, that you came to your senses, that you eventually realised you couldn’t live without me, that we have a category for us to be in, because somehow you finally categorized me properly – must be your archiving skills.’ He waggled his eyebrows, ‘and that you love me. Amongst other things.’ He finished dramatically and with a kiss.

‘Just that then?’ Ianto asked and Jack grinned like he was planning something, making him groan accordingly. ‘Oh God.’

‘He had nothing to do with it.’

Jack smirked and leaned in, kissing him slowly and letting a small huff of breath out against Ianto’s neck when he broke it, reaching for Jack’s cooling coffee next to him.

‘We don’t have to tell her anything.’

‘She won’t agree with that,’ Jack countered, trying to take his coffee back as Ianto dodged him deftly, drinking the last and letting a smile tug at his lips.

‘She’ll want to know even more if we don’t at least tell her the bare details.’ Jack grinned devilishly. ‘She’s gonna want to know the highlights definitely – probably the bit about you shagging me senseless and repeatedly.’

Ianto frowned, ‘don’t say it like that.’

‘Like what?’ Jack asked, his head dipping to kiss Ianto’s neck and missing as he moved and glared at him.

‘Like it didn’t mean anything. It was more than that. Last night.’

‘You’re right,’ Jack replied, sobering and nodding slowly. ‘I’m sorry, and it did mean something. A lot. It was more than that, you’re right.’

‘Hmmm.’

They stared at each for a moment and Jack reached out, cupped Ianto’s cheek and moved to kiss him, his lips still warm from the coffee and Ianto sighed into it, rested his hands gently on Jack’s waist as their tongues brushed and Jack breathed in sharply, pulled him closer and kissed him harder.

‘Oh she might want to double date or something!’

He leapt back up on the side and Ianto opened his eyes, let his mind catch up with Jack’s actions and frowned, leaning and placing the mug under the coffee machine and flicking it on absently.

‘Oh God. Fuck it. That sounds awful. We could just break up again - it would be easier, I don’t need to be subjected to double dating…’

‘Don’t. Even. Joke.’ Jack growled, swinging his legs forwards and backwards and Ianto smiled placatingly, moved between his thighs and rested his head on his chest as he murmured against him in a sleep addled tone.

‘I can’t help it, I’m humorous by nature.’

‘Yeah, hilarious.’

Ianto scowled, ‘I’m funny.’

‘Sure you are,’ Jack replied, kissing him and nodding solemnly, ‘funnier than most anyway, though I did date –‘

‘Don’t finish that sentence,’ Ianto threatened, cutting him off with another kiss, teasing him with his lips and laughing as Jack fought to deepen it unsuccessfully.

‘You guys should really stop having break-up sex because at some point it ceases to be break up sex and is in fact, a relationship again.’

Gwen folded her arms and took in the sight of half dressed Jack, barely dressed Ianto and lukewarm, abandoned coffee.

‘This isn’t break up sex.’ Jack gestured between them whilst Ianto tried to figure out how she got in without him hearing and realised he was actually more exhausted than ever, he wondered if he could go and sleep for the morning as Jack addressed Gwen amusedly, ‘this isn’t even sex and if you don’t know that then we need to have a little talk later - this is –‘

‘Me shutting Jack up,’ Ianto cut in.

‘Does it work?’ she asked, ignoring Jack pointedly.

‘I don’t recommend it. He’s still surprisingly chatty during it most of the time.’

‘I won’t bother then.’

Ianto smiled and Jack pouted at Gwen petulantly.

‘You don’t seem surprised.’

‘Should I be?’ She sighed exasperatedly. ‘I mean, I told you this would happen. I kept saying it, you know? – Things would move a lot quicker around here if everyone just listened to me more, but no. You had to go through all your drama instead of seeing sense and you end up where I predicted anyway, I swear, no one pays attention to me around here, might as well be white noise…’

‘Gwen?’ Jack tried to interrupt as he watched Ianto walk away fondly.

‘-white noise and static for the amount anyone listens to me –‘

‘Gwen, shut up.’

She closed her mouth abruptly and he grinned at her as he jogged up into the Hub and kissed her quickly on the top of the head on his way past.

‘Where are you going?’ she called after him and he turned mid run and winked.

‘To find my fiancé.’

A/N: I’m still not sure about my writing at the mo but thought I’d post anyway, hope its okay. Also LJ has f*cked with my formatting and I hate it.

Take your Coat?

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:34:29 GMT

Title: Take your coat?
Rating: NC17
Warnings/Spoilers: Explicit Sex.
Characters: Gwen/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: In between Series 1 and 2. Gwen and Ianto and Vodka.
A/N: Because there are secret Gwen/Ianto fans everywhere...I know there is! Probably...Also because this is a challenge from lucy_locketbecause she wants it and I get extra points for not mentioning Jack. This is for you, love you hun. Also Thank you to put_that_awayfor being awesome and holding my hand plot wise. Lol. Not that there’s plot...

It’s been two months since Gwen took over and normally she looks like she can defeat anything, overcome all, but tonight she’s exhausted and her eyes betray her and Ianto knows that look - that look like a soldier who thinks the war is over before it is and they’re fighting a losing battle.

She glances across at him and smiles absently, ‘you can go love, I’ll finish up and go too.’

‘I thought…maybe - would you like a drink?’

He brings out a bottle of Vodka and she eyes it temptingly as he stares at her, silently noting her eyes close briefly as she gives in and nods.

‘I could murder one, you’re an angel.’

‘I’ll get glasses,’ he gestures to the sofa and she slumps down into it gratefully as he slips into her office - her office now and takes off his jacket, hangs it up slowly and undoes his tie and a couple of buttons as he picks up two glasses. They clink together and the noise echoes through the empty room as he turns some lights off, leaving the Hub glowing dimly and he makes his way back through to her.

She looks up at him and he smiles softly, opens the bottle and pours out two measures deftly as she watches and he sits down next to her, hands her a glass and they keep eye contact for a moment before each taking a sip. She coughs at the sting of it in her throat and he grins at her as she laughs in between gasps and puts the glass down, suddenly stopping and leaning forward, putting her head in her hands and sighing heavily. Ianto knew it wouldn’t take much, never does with Gwen, the smallest thing would make her as mad as hell or happier than ever and he takes another gulp, lets the vodka burn through him and eyes her carefully.

‘Gwen?’

‘Mmm?’

‘You okay?’

She sits back and he mirrors her, playing with his glass as she wriggles down into the cushions against his body and leans her head on his shoulder.

‘I’m just tired,’ she replies quietly and Ianto watches her eyes drift open and closed slowly.

‘You don’t have to be him you know?’

They both know that isn’t strictly true, someone has to be, even though it’s impossible and no one will and this is why they find themselves knocking back vodka on a Wednesday night and avoiding actual life. Because as much as Torchwood takes you away from reality and you crave to have normality at times, it is and always has been the greatest escape from having to live your life and maybe that’s why it's so addictive. She looks up at him as they both take another drink and she shakes her head.

‘I’m just tired. And I don’t know what we’re going to do. And Rhys is being so understanding but he doesn’t understand Ianto!’ She exhales frustratedly and Ianto quietly lets her talk, ‘he doesn’t understand any of it and its driving me crazy. All he wants to do is help but he can’t and I can’t let him, so I push him away and…’ she trails off and downs the rest of the vodka, sighing thoughtfully, ‘and I don’t deserve him.’

Ianto pours out two more shots and leans back, she moves closer as he hands her the glass and he puts an arm behind her along on the sofa, strokes her hair softly, it’s silky and runs through his fingers as he drinks.

‘You can’t fix everything Gwen, don’t let this job defeat you, Torchwood –‘

He gulps some more vodka and she does to, watching him as he glances away, ‘Torchwood can take over too much, don’t let it take you over Gwen.’

She nods against his chest and plays with her empty glass, it’s warm leaning against him and she should go home, leave their underground world and go out into Cardiff, feel wind whip around her face and freeze her fingers even in her jacket pocket. But Ianto smells so good - of vodka and warmth and his heartbeats steady against her cheek, she can hear it against her ear and feel it deep in her chest and his hand is barely moving through her hair now as they sit silently and avoid the night together. Her eyes close and she moves into him as he sighs against her and wraps the arm around her tighter, his hand drifts to her neck and brushes it lightly as he pushes hair behind her ear and he lets his hand linger, kisses her on the top of her head and looks down as she breathes against him sleepily.

‘You should go home Gwen. Get some rest okay?’

They stay for a few seconds longer until she breathes in sharply and sits up, suddenly forcing herself to leave because Ianto’s so comforting - too comforting and she eyes him as she stands and he follows. Their gaze locks and she smiles.

‘Thanks. For the –drink,’ she gestures to the glass and breaks the path her eyes are wandering over his chest, mentally shaking images of hot bodies moving slowly and hands under her clothes from her thoughts.

‘No problem. Don’t mention it.’

He’s staring at her lips and he quickly reaches around and grabs her coat, moving behind her to put it on her shoulders as she turns her head to the side to kiss him goodbye, glances her lips across his cheek and the corner of his mouth. They stare at each other for a second, caught in the moment and not able to drag themselves away from it before Ianto backs her against the wall, closing his lips over hers hard. She lets a noise escape from her mouth as she kisses him back, stumbling into the corner as she clasps his head in her hands and pushes back against his tongue insistently.

He tastes of the vodka and a hint of mint, coffee and sweat and aftershave escapes from the gap in his shirt, his hands are resting on her hips, pulling her closer as she quickly unbuttons his waistcoat and shirt, rubbing her hands across his bare chest and biting his lip as his tongue pushes it way into her mouth again. He gasps quietly as she lets her hand fall between his legs and strokes twice. He’s bigger than Rhys, hard against her palm and thicker than Owen but not as long - she pulls his belt open and pushes her hand into his boxers and he groans against her ear, kisses along her throat and moves back to pull her top over her head.

They catch each others eye and Ianto’s hands move up her back slowly, fingers splayed against her skin that’s radiating heat but shivering under his touch and the breath catches in her throat as she leans in and kisses him again, his tongue moving slowly between her lips as he reaches to undo her bra. He dips his head, kisses down her throat until he reaches her breast and takes her nipple in his mouth, sucks it lightly and moves his crotch harder into her hand, rubbing against her as he moves across to the other and licks it slowly.

Her head arches back as he kisses up her chest, sucks lightly at the taut skin of her neck whilst he unbuttons her trousers and tugs them roughly down. They both groan as she kisses him again, harder this time and almost as desperately as he is pushing her into the wall. Gwen’s hands go to his shoulders, gripping them firmly when Ianto slips his hand into her knickers and stares at her as he runs his thumb down her clit, she’s wet already and he pushes two fingers slowly further down, watching her eyes close tightly and her breath come short as he pushes them inside her.

‘This is a mistake,’ she breaths and his fingers still, they both pant lightly and Ianto drags his thumb over her again as he pushes his fingers in further and watches her stifle a cry as her hips jerk towards him. Her nails are digging into his shoulder as he fucks her slowly, his fingers disappearing in and out of her and he rubs her clit with his thumb as she bits her lip.

‘Stop?’ His voice is rough and his cock is hard and pressing into her thigh, rubbing against it roughly, she looks at him, his hand in her and he moves his other one to stroke himself, his fingers crook and push and the vodka swirls in her blood, her face flushed, chest heaving and they both know they won’t stop now.

‘No.’

She bites him as she kisses him again, breathing harshly as he moves again, picks her up and slams her into the wall, she cries out when he pushes inside her, scratching her fingernails down his back and Ianto grunts softly into her neck as he grips her thighs, holds her tightly around him as he fucks her fast and deep.

Ianto grips her waist, his finger digging into her skin as she arches into each thrust, he’s breathing heavily against her neck and she stifles a scream when her back scrapes against the wall. She urges him in faster, pulls him closer and deeper and lets her head fall back as he bows his into her chest, his thrusts wilder and more erratic. Gwen moans softly and whimpers as she drops her hand down between her splayed legs and rubs her clit frantically in time with Ianto, her stomach muscles clench and her thighs tighten around him as he makes her come hard, spasming around him and he grunts as she grips the top of his arms, one leg falling to the ground and he picks it back up, opens them wider and presses her harder against the wall. She gasps silently as he pushes into her again, her orgasm continuing as he carries on thrusting and making her cry out, he runs his hand through hair, grips it between his fingers as he comes inside her, muffling a shout against her throat and stilling his hips as they both jerk through the aftershocks. She lets out a small breath as he leaves her, his eyes drag back to hers and they kiss slowly, almost an apology but mostly like comfort.

They stand together shakily and he moves away to dress himself, the loss of body warmth makes her shiver and the sweat on her chest and back cools quickly as she pulls clothes back on. Gwen glances across at him and Ianto clears his throat, hands over her coat and lets his fingers linger against hers, strokes them softly before he looks away and moves quickly to the other side of the room. He picks up his jacket and shrugs it on, running his hands over it quickly, smoothing down his shirt and tie and he nods at her, ‘see you tomorrow then?’

She smiles softly and nods back, making her way across the room and they stare at each for a second too long before leaving in separate directions.

A/N 2: Okay f-list don’t be scared, I feel all wrong after all this het so more slash action will be resumed forthwith, if I’m less rubbish than normal I may update L&W later…

Because I've decided I like drabbles. I write drabbles now.

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:42:45 GMT

Title: Oral Fixation
Rating: Ermmmmmmm adulty themes…kind of…PG13?
Warnings/Spoilers: Adulty themes. And childish humour. And my writing so that should be warning enough. OH YEAH, and smoking is bad. 205 words.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters. And I’m not telling you to smoke to be cool. It just appears that way…
Summary: Because I’m full of caffeine. And nicotine. And other things ending with ‘ine.’ That’s a lie actually, because there aren’t any other things ending with ‘ine.’ But if there was I’m sure I’d be full of them.
A/N: For lady_sb because she’s quitting smoking. She is. Honestly. As am I. After this one. Oh wait – after this one. Sod it. And for lucy_locket because she loves smoking!Ianto. Because she’s genius.

Jack heard Ianto approach from behind (and wasn’t that just his favourite sentence) and shifted to the side, grinning as he sat down next to him on the step and scowling when he took out a packet of cigarettes, lighting one nonchalantly.

‘I hate kissing you when you’ve been smoking.’

He didn’t do it often and it infuriated Jack that he never understood when and why he would.

‘Yet you still do it,’ Ianto mused, grinning devilishly, ‘because you love me.’

Jack grunted ambiguously and watched him blow out a perfect column of smoke before it pulled away into the wind. ‘Who said I loved you?’

‘You did.’ Ianto bumped their shoulders together and smiled, flicking ash to the floor absently.

‘And you thought you’d celebrate by having a smoke?’

‘No. I thought I’d celebrate by having you – but Myfanwy objected so you’ll have to wait ‘till later.’

‘Will you brush your teeth?’

‘No.’ Ianto smirked and took another drag, tendrils of smoke swirling from his fingers as the cigarette burned down slowly, ‘but if you want I’ll put something else in my mouth that you’ll find exponentially more preferable.’

Jack rolled his eyes and grinned as he kissed him.

Escapism is just an exercise in Futility

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:29:26 GMT

Title: Escapism is just an exercise in Futility (One Shot)
Rating: NC17
Warnings/Spoilers: Countrycide. Explicit M/M Slash.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: PWP. Set after Countrycide. It did have plot. Philosophy and Discussion. Now its just smut. I’m tired. Much thanks to my LOVERLY beta skullgirl013
A/N: I’m tired. Blame insomnia – also I haven’t written smut for ages. And it’s always good to be in the mood for blow-job fic I reckon.

‘I kissed you.’

The metal bowl clattered noisily and sent an echo through the empty Hub that shivered through Ianto’s already bare and freezing skin; Jack watched it travel over him in goose bumps and wondered why he never felt cold anymore.

‘I’m sorry?’ Ianto questioned quietly.

‘You’re sorry you didn’t mention it earlier or you’re sorry you’ve forgotten?’ Jack countered, taking the small bundle of white material out of the water and squeezing it gently, running it over his chest. Drying brown blood streaked across his pale skin and Jack dabbed it gently, wiped it off and uncovered the marks and bruises underneath.

‘I’m sorry - I have no idea what you’re talking about…’

‘You don’t? Really?’ Jack grinned and Ianto shifted uncomfortably, he didn’t know why he was doing this when Ianto was injured and in front of him half naked, other than the were finally alone and Jack felt himself drawn to the subject without really knowing wanting to know why.

‘Yes. I was the last person you kissed. Well I kissed you, I mean – really kissed you. And you’re sure you don’t know what I’m talking about?’

‘No.’

Ianto replied pointedly, he shifted again and winced as the table scraped against the floor, the noise grating in his head and warm water dripped down his chest, landed on the waist band of his jeans and glistened against the blossoming blunt injuries around his ribs. He rested his hand against them comfortingly even though it was offering none of the support Jack suspected they required.

‘I must have forgotten.’

‘You know not many people forget me.’ Jack mused, wiping away more blood from his collar bone, ‘I am rarely forgotten. Not since that time on the third moon of Jasmine where I had to make this one girlfriend forget me - being stalked isn’t as much as fun as you would think. She was sneaky too - you know stalking’s only illegal if you can prove it?’

Ianto let a small murmur of pain pass his lips when Jack slowly wiped grime from his brow, he felt the lump on his head beneath his fingers and stopped, waiting for Ianto to nod at him to carry on. He breathed in deeply and resumed, putting on the same light tone of voice as he continued the story, whilst Ianto listened gratefully, ‘anyway. Had to put a stop to that eventually – incidentally this is the same story that informs how and why I created my own recipe of RetCon. The original is nasty - remove the memories by removing the mind - all the memories though, back to factory settings - with a side effect of possible brain shrinkage, compared to that mine’s harmless –‘

‘JACK,’ Ianto groaned and he frowned concernedly.

‘Yes?’

‘Painkillers, please.’

Jack passed him a blister pack of tablets and Ianto swallowed two gratefully as Jack rinsed out the cloth, blood seeping from the material and splaying in ripples through the water.

‘You remember. I know you do.’

He refused to look at him as he prised Ianto’s fingers away from where they had returned to his ribs, he replaced it with his own and ran his hands over him, scarcely touching the damaged skin but Ianto watched fixatedly as his fingertips brushed over the ribs, tracing them with interest.

‘With the greatest respect, sir – Jack - I’m sorry,’ Ianto gasped silently as Jack pressed a little harder against them, counted them and felt for any broken bones, ‘but I don’t.’

Jack looked at him knowingly and finally nodded.

‘You should go home and get some rest.’

‘Mmm.’

Ianto stood up as Jack moved forwards and they accidentally brushed together, his hand automatically reached out to steady Ianto’s hip and they looked at each other for another few seconds.

‘You definitely kissed me?’ Ianto finally forced out, his breath whispered against Jack’s cheek and he nodded again, almost imperceptibly, his eyes fixed on Ianto’s lips and he couldn’t drag them away.

‘Yeah.’

‘I’m sorry I forgot that then.’

They moved closer and their lips almost touched, Jack whispered softly against him as Ianto’s eye’s drifted down his body, ‘I could always refresh your memory?’

Ianto didn’t reply and moved forwards, Jack’s heart beat loudly but Ianto just reached around him for his shirt and tried to put it on roughly, a grunt sounding as he pulled it over his head. Jack mentally shook himself and regarded Ianto as he stubbornly tried to dress himself to leave.

‘Let me help.’

Ianto tried to protest and Jack silenced him with a look, pushed his hands inside the shirt and felt Ianto’s heart thump against him, he tugged it over his shoulders gently and slowly helped him put it on. Myfanwy shrieked from somewhere above them and Jack finally leaned away to let him go.

‘Thank you.’

‘It’s nothing.’ Jack shrugged and Ianto looked across at him.

‘No, thank you. For saving my life. Thank you.’

Jack grunted ambiguously and stared at him, ‘did you ever doubt I would?’

Ianto stared back and for a moment there was nothing but the sound of their breathing, Jack’s mouth twitched to say some thing and Ianto moved forward quickly, captured it in a kiss and pulled back just as fast. Jack stared at him and Ianto gazed back. Moved in to kiss him again and stopped just against his mouth, he closed his eyes and murmured against him quietly, ‘why can’t I stop thinking about you?’

‘Ianto –‘

‘Shut up Jack.’

Jack closed his eyes and let Ianto kiss him, pressed his lips against his eagerly and parted them when he felt Ianto moan against him, he brushed his tongue into his mouth softly and groaned as Ianto responded by kissing back deeply, running the tip of his tongue across the roof of Jack’s mouth and pushed his hands into his shirt.

He pulled back and took a breath as Jack looked at him, his face flushed and chest heaving rapidly. Jack’s pulse raced and he let his hand rest at the top Ianto’s jeans, waiting for Ianto to move away but instead he kissed him back, pushed his hips closer to where Jack’s fingers gripped his waistband, he let his hand move down experimentally and stroked him lightly.

Ianto moved closer towards him and pushed forwards, he broke the kiss for a second, looked at Jack questioningly and then kissed him slowly as he allowed him to trace the increasing bulge between his legs with his palm. Ianto groaned and Jack increased the pressure, rubbing teasingly and kissing him with a practiced ease. His mouth cool and soft and Ianto’s fingers gripped the back of his neck as he moved his crotch firmly into Jack’s grip.

They fell backwards, stepping awkwardly and Ianto ended up leant back on the metal surface of the med bay table, Jack’s fingers flicked open his jeans and he slowly pushed his hand down into Ianto’s boxers. He took his cock in his hand and his fingers swept through the wiry hair and along his shaft, he was hard and aching and Jack wrapped his fist around him gently, Ianto moaned as he kissed him, breaking away to watch Jack slowly pump his erection maddeningly. He moved his hips firmly into the rhythm and Jack reached his hand back, cupped his balls and stroked them as he dipped his head and dropped open mouthed kisses down his chest, giving Ianto a brief glance as he dropped to his knees and pulled his jeans down around his thighs. He urged him to sit back against the cold metal and kissed along his stomach, placing one hand there before taking his cock in the other and closing his mouth around it.

Ianto’s neck arched back and his breath caught in his chest as Jack sucked him in slowly and deeply, pulling back and licking along him as his other hand quickened its pace around him. Ianto panted heavily and leant back, thrusting deep into Jack’s throat and he cried out as Jack swallowed around him, pulled him in deeper as his other hand gripped him firmly.

His hips snapped forward again as Jack pulled away for breath and he groaned, his stomach moving rhythmically against Jack’s palm and Jack moved the hand to reach between his own legs, cupping himself as he took Ianto back in his mouth and sucked him faster. Ianto arched back as much as his ribs would allow and Jack rubbed himself through his trousers, his cock hard and leaking and he moaned at the friction as he let Ianto thrust into his mouth a couple of times quickly before pulling back and sucking the tip.

He worked his tongue around the head as his own hand rubbed himself quicker and slipped into his trousers. He flicked his eyes up to Ianto and saw him glance down, their gaze met fleetingly and Jack looked away, deep throated him twice and twisted his tongue around him as he pulled back and fisted himself in his trousers. He could feel his own orgasm approaching at the soft grunts that were spilling from Ianto’s mouth and half formed pleas of ‘Jack,’ and ‘Oh God’ and he sped his hand up, pushing the material open further and Ianto looked down, bit his lip as he thrust once more into his mouth and cried out his name. Jack came hard and grunted around Ianto’s cock, his hand moving quickly in his trousers as his orgasm burst through him and he pulled away to pull himself hard through it, his eyes closed tightly.

Ianto watched as he removed his hand from his trousers and left them undone, reaching it up and using his come as lube he pushed Ianto back a bit further and reached his fingers behind his balls, finding his perineum and dragging a fingertip over it. Ianto bit back a gasp and Jack took him back in his mouth, kneeling up and over him as he sucked him harder and deeper and pushed a finger inside him, he tensed and Jack flicked his tongue expertly, swallowed again and pushed another inside as Ianto tried to catch breath.

He pushed into Jack’s mouth as he fucked himself on Jack’s come covered fingers and he thought his head might explode when he angled them onto his prostate, pressing against it as Ianto thrust deeply one more time into his throat, coming hard with a stifled shout and he writhed as Jack rubbed inside him softly now and swallowed repeatedly as Ianto’s orgasm pulsed through him in five stomach clenching wrenches. He panted heavily as Jack slowly pulled away and withdrew his fingers, stood up and did up his own trousers. Ianto straightened up shakily and Jack helped him, letting out a noise of surprise as his mouth was dragged to Ianto’s and kissed softly, his lips bruised and full and Ianto caressed them slowly with his own.

‘You should really go home and get that rest…’ Jack suggested, his voice gruff and his throat sore.

‘Will you take me?’

Jack nodded and Ianto looked at him gratefully.

‘Thank you.’

He walked into the Hub and Jack watched him go sighed and picked up his coat, putting it on himself and following Ianto out into the night.

Nothing's fair in Love and War - 8/10

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:53:37 GMT

Title: Nothing’s fair in Love and War - 8/10
Rating: NC17 for the whole thing.
Warnings/Spoilers: Set after Series 2. Slash/Language.
Characters: Torchwood Team Fic – Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Sequel to my fic – Sex, Lies and CCTV. Jack and Ianto deal with the end of their relationship.
A/N: ‘The future will be better tomorrow.’ Dan Quayle. And you can make what you want of that quote…

A/N 2: This is to everyone who said ‘FIX IT…’ But mainly it’s for Jenny. skullgirl013 She is the sweetest, nicest girl and she has the sexiest voice ever lol. You rock sweet heart –hug-

Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part One
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Two
Nothings's fair in Love and War: Part Three
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Four
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Five
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Six
Nothing's fair in Loveand War: Part Seven

‘All’s fair in love and war.’ John Lyly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

‘Do you think all’s fair in love and war?’

Ianto sat back and sucked the spoon, ice cream coating his tongue and Jack watched with interest.

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

Conversation always came after sex, they spared few words at work and what they said never really went further than the immediate situation or innuendo but Jack had always had words, talked himself out of every situation and into anyone’s life. Ianto could talk to anyone, but he never gave himself away - a little part of Jack got lost every time he showed himself to someone with a well placed flirtation on the job or a suitably dashing statement as he saved you, or a speech that makes you stand up and not give in to the world ending. Ianto on the other hand could tell anyone anything they needed to know without giving himself away, it was only Jack that ever made him talk and it was both equally annoying and completely exhilarating that Ianto indulged it. But only with Jack.

‘Because I’ve been in love and I’ve been to war,’ Jack dragged his gaze away from Ianto’s lips to look him in the eye ‘so believe me when I say - they are the same thing and there are no rules for either.’

Ianto considered him for a second, twisted the spoon in his fingers and frowned, ‘Love and War are the same thing? That’s romantic.’

Jack huffed softly and almost grinned, kissing his chest as he stared at him, ‘yes they are.’

‘So what are they then?’

‘Juts…people,’ he shrugged and took the ice cream away, dipped his finger in and licked it softly.

‘What?’

‘Love isn’t just a concept that’s written about and lyricised over in songs or poems or Shakespeare, it isn’t just a clichéd movie storyline and it isn’t just a philosophy. And war isn’t just countries and treaties and leaders and politics. Love and War - its people, people believing in something and fighting for it.’ He finished and left them both in silence until Ianto shook his head.

‘Love isn’t supposed to be a battle, you don’t fight for love, you fall in love.’

‘And you fight to keep it.’ He shrugged and looked at Ianto out of the corner of his eye, putting the empty ice cream carton on the floor and half lying on Ianto sleepily, running his fingers over his stomach and glancing up at him accusingly, ‘you fought to keep it.’

‘And it wasn’t fair.’ Ianto countered, ‘it wasn’t fair to me, Lisa, you - anyone. I fought for love and lost, and I lost that love in the first place because I was fighting Torchwood’s war. What about any of that is fair?’

‘You’re right. Nothing.’ Jack moved up his body and twisted the sheets around them until they were face to face, he rested a hand on Ianto’s chest, ‘nothing. Which is why everything is fair.’

‘So all’s fair in love and war - you can do anything? And it’s okay because it’s the same for everyone?’ Ianto frowned at him and Jack let a smile play at his lips.

‘Pretty much.’

‘So by that logic, everything’s justified?’

‘I didn’t say it was right or justified. I said it was fair because there was no rules but that isn’t necessarily a good thing,’ Ianto frowned again and Jack shifted to half sit up, leaning on his elbow and talking softly as Ianto watched, ‘no rules may mean providing the ability to overcome any obstacle by any means which means great things are achieved but it also breeds chaos and destruction. If people are prepared to do anything…by any means…’

‘I would have done anything.’ Ianto whispered, Jack looked at him questioningly and let him continue, ‘I did do anything. I hate that I put people in danger but I still essentially think I did what I felt I had to do. Justified or not.’

‘Because you believe,’ Jack nodded and rested his forehead against Ianto’s, ‘believe everything’s fair in love and war. It’s part of the reason I understand what you did. I’m not saying I condone it, can justify it, but I can kind of understand it and forgive it. It was human, it wasn’t about cyber women and aliens and Torchwood, it was two people in love.’

‘And you believe in love?’

‘You know I do. Do you?’

xxxxxxxxxxxx

‘Hey.’

There was every chance Ianto Jones would have to kill Jack after the stunt he pulled today, even if it would be slightly hypocritical, he glared at him and didn’t even know how start this conversation, so he chose not to. The Hub was on lockdown and Ianto was still covered in dirt from today’s outing, his suit was effectively ruined and he looked decidedly dishevelled, another thing he could blame Jack for. Jack, who was standing in front of him, still blood streaked and looking exhausted but pleases like he always did when he saved the day and Ianto hated himself for how much he still wanted him. Selfish fucking bastard though he was, he clenched his jaw, glared at him and resolutely decided not to have this conversation, instead he would go home, drink himself into unconsciousness because he still wouldn’t touch his sleeping meds and wake up in the morning pretending today never happened.

‘I’m going home.’

‘Ianto? –‘

‘See you tomorrow Jack.’

He brushed past him and Jack reached back to grab his wrist, spun him back and raised his eyebrows questioningly, ‘Ianto what’s your problem?’

‘My problem?’ Ianto stared at him furiously and prised his fingers away ‘it’s not me with the problem Jack. It’s you.’

‘Wanna explain?’

He was not having this conversation. He was not. Besides, Ianto knew he wasn’t the one who needed to explain, Jack was - and as much as he knew he could it didn’t matter because he could still feel the sting in his throat from throwing up twice after and the anxious thrum of his pulse that still wouldn’t stop 3 hours later.

‘You explain Jack. Why…why did you do that?’

‘What?’

‘Why did you -’ he looked away and Jack followed his eyes, ‘why did you kill yourself like that?’

‘Because I was injured,’ he frowned obviously, ‘and you two needed help, and it was quicker if I died and came back.’

‘We would have coped.’ He stared at him and Jack flinched at his tone, ‘there was no need to do that in front of us!’

‘Look Ianto, it doesn’t matter I’m not going to stay dead. It was the best solution to a horrible problem - me killing myself to save you both isn’t a big deal.’

‘Are you listening to yourself?!’

He was breathing heavily and Jack crossed his arms across his chest, today hadn’t been good, but no one was injured and only Jack had died. It did occur to him that maybe shooting himself in the head wasn’t the most tactful way to save the day but tact had always been a matter of requirement for Jack and when both Gwen and Ianto were in danger of dying, Jack’s tact had very little say in the matter.

‘Yes. I don’t see the problem.’

‘How can you ever expect to live a sane life if you act like this!?’

‘Like what Ianto?!’

‘Like your life doesn’t even matter!’ Jack stared at him wildly as Ianto yelled, ‘like it’s worthless. Like you don’t care!’

Jack’s life was a matter of perspective, Jack knew it, Torchwood had made sure he did, had sacrificed him time and again and as a good soldier he had never thought to question it, but now Ianto was questioning it and Jack found himself without answers.

‘Maybe I don’t, but what does it matter? I can’t change it, if using my life like it doesn’t matter saves others than where’s the problem?’

‘The problem is Jack - you’re crazy!’

‘I’m not crazy. You have to stop telling me I’m crazy!’ Ianto’s eyes darted away and Jack glared, ‘and where’d you get off questioning me on this anyway? I’m the boss, it’s my life – you don’t even have boyfriend rights anymore to tell me how to live it so don’t.’

He tried to stalk off and Ianto moved in front of him, ‘well I would get Gwen to try and talk some sanity into you but I think you scarred her today more than you already had,’ he moved aside and gestured, ‘so if you think that’s alright then you just go ahead.’

‘She’s fine. She’s seen me die before.’

‘It’s different.’ Ianto shook his head and was suddenly exhausted, ‘you killed yourself. It’s different Jack. I’ve never seen her like that before, I sent her home because I thought she was suffering from Shock. Did you not even realise?’ Jack bowed his head and sat down on the steps, Ianto slumping on the wall next to him and looking down on him sadly, ‘what’s happened to you?’

‘Nothing!’

‘Well then show some humanity Jack.’ Ianto spat, took a deep breath and tried to calm down as he sat down and stared off into the Hub, ‘you’ve lost touch, you’ve isolated yourself.’

‘Yeah well what am I meant to do?’ Jack looked across at him and Ianto realised he honestly thought he didn’t know, ‘Ianto? I work for Torchwood, I can’t die, I’m not built for a normal human life. So tell me, what do I do?’

‘You know. You know how important it is to have a life outside Torchwood.’

‘I did already,’ Jack replied exasperatedly, ‘a million times over, I can’t do it a million times more. It’s too hard, I’m tired of adapting for different times and I’m tired of moving on when people leave.’

He looked at him intently and Ianto felt his heart lurch, he would not let Jack blame him for this, what Ianto had done - letting them go, it was the right thing to do.

‘You have to,’ Ianto looked at him seriously, ‘you haven’t been given a choice in the matter – its shit. But you have to keep yourself sane,’ Jack rolled his eyes and Ianto moved over closer, cupped his cheek and made him look at him, ‘you’re a good man Jack. Stay that way.’

‘I am. If I keep letting myself be vulnerable and getting hurt I’ll end up mad anyway. At least by myself I’ll just be cynical.’

‘You can’t do that. You can’t live your life without loss and pain or you’ll never experience joy and love and hope and a million other things you need to stay sane.’ Ianto rolled his eyes and couldn’t believe the clichés that were tripping off his tongue, Jack wouldn’t be like this if it wasn’t for him and Ianto suddenly felt a huge surge of guilt, ‘you have to live your live like it matters, let people in and mourn them when you lose them. You have to keep trying you can’t just cut off your emotions.’

‘It’s too hard.’

‘Do you want to die Jack?’

Jack stared at him, it was one question he wasn’t sure he’d ever be asked again but Ianto said it outright like a hit to the stomach and he breathed in deeply.

‘I did. And then I didn’t. I came back and there was you and Torchwood and Tosh and Owen lost their lives to help others survive. To keep them living. And then…’ Ianto stared at him and Jack sighed, ‘I don’t know anymore. I can’t either way, it’s just…a feeling, of whether I’d like the choice or not.’

‘You don’t know?’

‘Things have changed. I’ve changed. Torchwood has changed.’

He pulled the sleeves of his coat and Ianto nodded, understanding and looked at him softly, ‘we changed?’

‘You changed.’

‘You’ve changed too,’ Ianto countered, ‘the old Jack would never have done that in front of us after everything.’

‘I changed because you made me.’

‘No.’

‘Yes.’

They looked at each other exasperatedly and Ianto chewed his lip.

‘I didn’t change you. And if I did I didn’t mean to. I left you - us, for the good of both of us.’

‘No.’ Jack shook his head and his eyes went glassy, ‘I wasn’t ready to lose you. I still love you.’ Ianto glanced away and Jack reached out, dragged his eyes back to him, ‘you love me too. I know you do.’

Ianto’s breath stopped in his throat before it became words and Jack raised his eyebrows questioningly.

‘See you’re not even denying it.’

‘I can’t.’

Jack shook his head and stood up frustratedly, pacing and glaring at him, ‘then why would you do this to us?’

‘Because I couldn’t trust you not to end it. It can’t last Jack, it’s better sooner than later.’

Ianto stood up to leave and Jack wrenched him back forcefully, pinned him up against the wall and Ianto looked to the side, afraid to match his gaze and feeling his heart hammer in his chest. Jack’s body was moving inches from his, his face millimetres away and Ianto could feel his breath.

‘No.’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re wrong,’ Jack said determinately, ‘you’re kidding yourself that love doesn’t matter. I feel like I’ve lost you. Like I’ve lost my best friend,’ Ianto tried to escape and Jack pushed him back, ’I don’t want to feel like you’ve died when you’re still alive.’

‘Jack –‘

‘Ianto – do you love me?’

Jack stared at him and his hips moved closer, Ianto closed his eyes, and Jack repeated the question slower.

‘You know I do, and you know it isn’t enough, our lives still don’t work together.’

‘All I heard was you love me.’

Jack moved closer again and Ianto felt his thought process melt away and the slight bump against his chest and Jack’s leg touching his and his hand moving slowly up and Jack’s eyes shining with something that could be hope and all Ianto wanted to do was kiss him.

‘I don’t need anymore and neither do you, I believe in love remember?’

Ianto’s breathing stopped and Jack’s lips grazed his, he murmured softly and Ianto’s hand gripped his waist holding him close, wanting more than anything for him to go and not ruin their lives and just as much to stay and ruin them forever and Jack saw it in his face, kissed him softly and pulled back to look at him.

‘I believe in love, do you remember that you do too?’

PART NINE

A/N 3: Sorry it's been so long. Couldn't write. Still can't. Grrr.

10 THINGS MEME

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 22:48:13 GMT

Ooooo lookey, a loverly meme.

Tagged by the quite frankly, beautiful and talented faithharkness

The meme is ten things you like that start with a certain letter.
(Warning: Bad Language. Bad Abby.)
She gave me the letter S, so here goes:
OH YEAH AND 10 OF YOU ARE TAGGED! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

1. Smut:
Top of the list. faithharkness said S for Smut and she wasn't exactly wrong...
Smut is good. Log that away.
Jack/Ianto smut is best. Definately remember that for later and make sure you're taking notes for this next bombshell:
LJ Jack/Ianto Smut is the best of the best...I realise this is starting to sound like slash (*see below*) but to my shame I will read Ianto/Gwen and Ianto/ Tosh smut.
Essentially I want Ianto to have sex with everyone possible and love Jack.
It's my thing. I'm sorry.

2. Smurf:
My tiny car is small and blue and therefore called SMURF. He has smurfs on the dashboard (not unlike a David Tennant storyline that made me squee.) He is the SEX. He is rubbish and dirty and I love him with all my heart. He is my baby and my soulmate and he is the only thing that makes me happy without even having to try.

3. Stories:
They make the world go round. I don't know where I would be without them. Stories define all parts of my life and without them I am lost.

4. Sheffield:
The best city ever. Namely because it's in the North. The North is the best place ever. All good things come from the North. Remember this. Because the south sucks. I know - I live there. I am what they call a "Traitor."
Bad Abby.

5. Swearing:
I know. Once again - Bad Abby. But lets face it, swearing is brilliant.
I think so, GDL thinks so and I'm pretty sure you think so.
Adapted swear words such as 'Absofuckinglutely' are double brilliant.
And a string of swear words such as, 'wankshitbollocksfucksyphilis' are beyond brilliant. Gotta have a varied vocabulary...

6. Sci-Fi:
Because EVERYTHING good and EVERYONE hot is in sci-fi.
Let's run down shall we?
John Barrowman, Gareth David Lloyd, Sarah Michelle Gellar, James Marsters, Nathon Fillion etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on and on. Suffice to say Russel T. Davies and Joss Whedon are both UBER GENIUS.

7. Songs & Singing!JohnBarrowman:
Because songs are who we are. And singing!JohnBarrowman because damn that man's good and fuck he's hot whilst singing and because I've listened to Sunset Boulevard about 1000 times easily.

8. Staying up late:
Night time rocks. The daytime is full of rubbish but night time is dark and lovely and an insomniacs best friend and LJ makes it whole heaps better...

9. Slash:
OH MY GOD. I discovered slash by accident. I haven't looked back. I am obsessed. I literally never realised how much I would love it and now its too late, its taken me over...Torchwood slash and Queer as Folk are my life now. I never knew gay sex could be so hot. But it is. Slash rocks. End of.

10. Sarcasm:
Because we all know it's not only hilarious but clever. No matter what people say, sarcasm will always be the best thing ever.

So...there you go. Probably a scarier insight into me than you needed but still. I was bored. Okay, the last part of this meme is to tag ten people who make you happy and why. If I tag you and you want to play, comment and I'll give you a letter.

ace_of_spades6 because Anna, hunny, I love you. You are awesome and sexy, you made me journal and you love meme's so here you go...

bassair because Sophie rocks, she is brilliant, hilarious, lets me corrupt her and drives me mad with her amazing fic. Also she is writing me a birthday fic which is just the sweetest thing ever.

butterflycell because Jenni is sooooo pretty and suuuuuch a good writer, she introduced me to beta'ing which I loved and her forthcoming AU is made of awesome...

lucy_locket there are no words for how much I love Lucy. She is just a gorgeous person and she got me the new Torchwood novels and is trying to get them signed by Gareth! I have NEVER been more excited! She also indulges my moods, makes me icons and webcams her sexiness over to me regularly I don't function without her anymore ;)

skullgirl013 because Jenny is the nicest girl and her comments make my day always. She is far too lovely!

morgia Nadine is unbelievably gorgeous, her comments make me laugh and cry and her french is beautiful.

kitsu84 Ashley I love you, where are you babe? I haven't heard from you in forever :( Get on msn and let me now how you are. And also thank you once again for my sexy as icon...

bandgeek01 because Nicole rocks and sends me smut over e-mails, always has time to chat and reads everything I write.

2nd_toshiko Sabrina was my first LJ friend and she has been amazing ever since, we are both mad and know it, she is absolutely gorgeous and talks to me in French, she has read some of my fic twice and commented twice which is just silly but lovely, than you. You rock my world.

put_that_away Fliss has a totally pretty name, is lovely, wrote a prequel to my fic because I was made of fail when it came to honey smut and she just made it brilliantly. Also she is going to lick GDL this weekend which can never be wrong and should definately be applauded.

MEME OVER LOL. That was fun. Shiny. Your turn :)
Lots of love my f-list of gorgeousness,
Abby.xxx

The Early Bird...

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:11:40 GMT

Title: The Early Bird…
Rating: NC17
Warnings/Spoilers: Slash, M/M Sex, PWP.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Ficlet type one shot. Pure smut. No plot. Jack and Ianto are late for work.
A/N: Unashamed morning/breakfast table sex for my lovely and quite frankly amazing Sophie bassairwho rocks my world with her fic on a daily basis. This is her bribe for more.
(Written VERY late at night – I’m exhausted so please forgive any crapness.)
Anyway, thank you luv and I hope it is good enough!

Jack bounded down the stairs half dressed, his hair still messed and observed Ianto slouched on the sofa, legs crossed at the ankles on the coffee table and a mug clutched in his hands.

‘Morning.’

‘Mmmm.’

He bent down over the couch and kissed him upside down, grinning - he hated when Jack did that and so he did it often, ‘you didn’t wake me.’

Ianto rolled his eyes as Jack dangled in front of his face and he moved his head to stare past him at the telly, ‘you were asleep.’

‘…because you didn’t wake me.’ Jack called through from the kitchen, picking up the mug of coffee Ianto had made him and sipping it gratefully.

‘Because you were asleep.’

‘Because you didn’t wake me,’ Jack replied again grinning, throwing himself next to Ianto on the sofa and putting an arm around him, his fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck and he noted the subtle smile crossing Ianto’s face before he returned his concentration back to the telly.

‘Shhhhh.’

‘Why?’ Jack leant down and kissed his throat before taking another drink of coffee, savouring the taste for a minute. Ianto and coffee really was the best way to wake up. Ianto licked his lips and Jack almost groaned, Ianto and coffee really were better to wake up to in bed…He eyed the breakfast table, a coffee pot and a couple of plates, toast and orange juice and newspapers. It would be a shame, he thought, to mess it up...

‘I’m trying to listen to the news.’

Ianto shifted into his arms more, his pyjama bottoms pulling delightfully down his hips and accenting the stomach muscle down to his groin. Jack bit his lip thoughtfully, ran his hand absently down Ianto’s bare chest and murmured deeply against his throat, ‘you can get the actual news at Torchwood.’

‘Yeah but the actual news at Torchwood isn’t reported by Jeremy.’ Ianto grinned at the telly and Jack frowned.

‘Jeremy?’

‘Shhhh he’s talking.’

Jack looked curiously at the telly and the newsreader who was adorning the screen - he had dark hair and green eyes with a touch of brown, framed by gorgeous dark, long eyelashes, a rakish smile and hands almost as sexy as Ianto’s. His voice was deep with the hint of an Irish accent and Ianto was staring at him intently.

‘You fancy the news reader?’

Jack pulled a face, he was attractive but really? He thought Ianto had more sophisticated taste than some charming, handsome, Irish, T.V News floozy…

Ianto didn’t even look at him as he replied, staring at the screen as he grabbed the hand Jack was dangling across his shoulders and laced their fingers together, answering distractedly, ‘he reads me the news.’

They watched him for a few moments inform them of the latest goings on in Downing Street (all wrong Jack noted smugly) but Ianto was still staring and had stopped drinking his coffee, his thumb absently rubbing his palm and Jack suddenly realised something, ‘you like him because he informs you?’

Ianto just grinned and Jack shook his head, ‘that’s so kinky in a totally boring way.’

‘Do you ever shut up?’ Ianto glanced at him quickly before turning back to the telly.

‘Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt Jeremy,’ Jack grumbled, pulling himself up off the sofa and muttering as he walked into the kitchen to pour more coffee, ‘his boyfriend’s the leader of Torchwood, saves the world on a daily basis in his dashing coat and is amazing in bed but no – he fancies the news reader…’

‘Shut up.’ Ianto said, Jack turned round and saw him stand up from the sofa, stretch and walk over to the kitchen, reaching his arms up and leaning them on the top of the door frame, watching Jack interestedly. He looked edible, long and lean, head inclined curiously, eyes twinkling and hair still sleep ruffled, his blue drawstring pyjama’s hanging from his hips – and, Jack noted, a bulge between his legs that make his mouth go dry.

‘I’m better looking than him,’ he forced out as he dragged his eyes back to Ianto’s.

Ianto grinned and walked slowly over to him, pushing him into the side and hooking his thumbs in Jack’s trousers (he had at least attempted to get dressed this morning, his white undershirt and trousers being as far as he had got before the smell of breakfast and the thought of morning Ianto had drawn him downstairs.) He gasped silently as Ianto pushed his crotch against his, brought his lips tantalisingly close and then pulled back at the last second, ‘are you offering to report the news to me?’

‘Shut up Jones,’ he growled, leaning back against the counter, opening his legs and working his hands round the back of Ianto’s bottoms. He pulled him close, his lips a breath away and his eyes flashing dangerously, ‘you won’t like me when I’m jealous…’ He leaned in to kiss him hard and Ianto groaned noisily, rubbed his hard on against Jack’s hip and arched his neck as Jack moved his lips down him greedily.

‘Oooohhh Jeremy, yeeees,’ Ianto groaned lewdly and Jack’s head snapped up. Ianto looked at him cheekily, laughed in the back of his throat and Jack glared at him.

‘Shut up.’

‘Make me.’

Jack gripped his hips and kissed him deeply, licked into his mouth and felt himself harden as Ianto kissed back desperately, fumbled with his fly and palmed his erection. He groaned and picked him up, lifted him onto the kitchen cabinet and Ianto wrapped his legs around his waist, pulled his shirt over his head and ran his fingertips down his chest.

Jack reached down and cupped Ianto's erection, kissing him bitingly and moaning as he scraped his fingernails down his back, pushed forcefully into Jack's grip and broke the kiss to look at him, both of them panting hard, ‘lube?’

Jack dragged him off the side, pulling him through the kitchen and finding himself banged up against the door frame within seconds - Ianto kissing him thoroughly as he groped for his coat which was splayed across the sofa. He let go of him and pulled his trousers off, Jack watching as he reached for his coat and searched for lube, taking it out and pulling him close quickly. There was a light sheen of sweat on his chest and he licked it, Ianto’s fingers tangling in his hair before he was pushed back to the breakfast table clumsily, banging into it and listening to plates smash to the floor.

He grinned at Ianto’s momentarily annoyed expression before he kissed it off.

‘You broke my plates,’ he bit his chest angrily and Jack grinned.

‘I think you’ll find you have me – FUCK – pinned to the table and with your hand down my pants – fuckthereyes – so technically it’s your fault –‘

Ianto pushed him further up the table and pulled his trousers off, sweeping the newspapers to the floor, he grinned wickedly and bent his head down, locked his mouth around his nipple and sucked it hard. Jack groaned and lifted his knees, sat up and leaned on his elbows to kiss him messily, tongues and teeth clashing and he panted as they ground their crotches together whilst Ianto warmed the lube in his fist. He stared at him as he reached between Jack's legs and rubbed two fingers over his entrance, he groaned and Ianto gripped the back of his head, pulled his hair back as he pushed them in slowly. His eyes rolled back and he thrust his hips forward, the table creaked and toast fell to the floor butter side down.

‘Fuck Ianto, yes!’

Ianto smiled and pushed him down to lie across the table, another plate crashing to the floor and Jack reached a hand behind his head, gripped the wood hard, his nails digging in as Ianto worked his fingers in and out of him quickly. He groaned loudly when he found his prostate and rubbed past it, Jack grabbing for his hip in response and pulling him close, kissing him quickly and growling into his ear as Ianto reached for his cock, ‘hard and fast Ianto, we’re late.’

Ianto grinned and pushed him back down, thrust into him in one movement and Jack bent his arm back above his head, holding on and crying out loudly as Ianto fucked him, shallow thrusts that forced him deep into his body and Jack grunted, ‘more,’ as he stroked himself. Ianto hooked his arms around Jack’s waist and he gripped him with his thighs pushing him in harder, faster, arching into every thrust and willing him in deeper. Ianto leaned over him, kissing him hard and watched the rest of the breakfast items disappear to the ground, orange juice spilling at their feet as he reached for Jack’s cock and pulled him quickly. Jack gasped into his mouth and raised his legs, resting his foot on the sofa behind Ianto and bending his knee to let him in further. Ianto bowed his head and kissed the hollow of his throat, sucking in the skin before pounding into him again, the table creaked and the room was full of the noise of them groaning loudly, the curtains pulled wide and morning sunlight splashed across their bodies, heating them and illuminating sweat gathering on their backs as they moved quicker.

Jack clenched his jaw and felt his stomach muscles tighten, looked up as Ianto let his head fall back, his mouth slightly open as he came inside him hard, his thrusts stilling as he pulsed into him and breathed in deep whilst Jack clenched around him and wrenched the last of his orgasm from him noisily. Ianto pulled out and Jack growled, felt him replace it with three fingers and grabbed his other hand, put it on his cock and Ianto wrapped his fist round him, pulled firmly twice as he pushed his fingers in deep and rubbed his prostate once more before Jack came, crying out loudly, his legs falling to the floor and Ianto kissed him softly through his gasps for breath.

Ianto was laying over him, breakfast forgotten and very evidently abandoned around them on the floor, he looked down at the mess, back at Jack and arched an eyebrow at him, ‘we are very late,’ he grumbled, ‘I told you no more morning sex.’

‘Yeah and then we had morning sex the next day,’ Jack replied helpfully, ‘I thought that was the end of the rule?’

‘Yeah well you were doing that thing with the honey…’ Ianto stared up at the ceiling, lost in memory for a few seconds and wondering if they had time since he had acquired a new jar of honey just yesterday…Jack grinned at his faraway expression and he shook himself from his daydream – ‘no we’re late.’

‘Okay fine.’ Jack smiled and kissed his chest, pulling him up into a sitting position and leaning down to whisper into his ear seductively, ‘wake me up tomorrow morning and I’ll show you what I can do with a crumpet…’

A/N 2: P.S Forgive the title - its a source of debate. I love you Lucy.

Nothing's Fair in Love and War - 7/10

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:55:29 GMT

Title: Nothing’s fair in Love and War - 7/10
Rating: NC17 for the whole thing.
Warnings/Spoilers: Set after Series 2. Slash/Language.
Characters: Torchwood Team Fic – Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Sequel to my fic – Sex, Lies and CCTV. Jack and Ianto deal with the end of their relationship.
A/N: ‘Because the best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.’ W.C.Fields.

A/N 2: Well my dears, as if it wasn’t emo enough it’s time to crank up the angst Ianto style. Big, special thanks to Sophie bassairfor being gorgeous and looking over it for me and Happy Birthday to my beautiful Nadine morgiahave a lovely day sweetheart.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six

‘There is danger in both belief and unbelief.’ Phaedrus.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

‘What do you believe in Jack?’

The wind whipped around their faces and Jack drew his coat round them tightly, Ianto’s back pressed against his front as they gazed at the stars. He loved bringing them up here, standing on the roof and holding each other in the night. He dragged them backwards and leaned against the wall, away from the edge and Ianto turned to kiss him softly.

‘What?’

‘What do you believe in? ’Ianto asked again, his face hidden in Jack’s shoulder as he occasionally dropped a kiss along his jaw line.

Jack grinned against his lips and a siren sounded somewhere in the distance, they ignored it and he arched an eyebrow as he thought, ’what do I believe in? hmmm,’ he inclined his head and kissed him in-between statements, ‘sex. And Scotch. Martini’s. And hating politicians. Sex. The Tooth Fairy –‘

‘Love?’

Ianto pulled back to stare at him and Jack frowned.

‘What?’

‘Do you believe in love?’

‘Yeah. I guess.’ He pulled him back close and they sat down next to each other, legs outstretched and eyes looking into the night as they talked, ‘why?’

‘I don’t know if I believe in it anymore. I mean why do you need love?’ Jack frowned and watched Ianto trying to work it out as he spoke, ‘why is it, people think falling in love and living in the perfect relationship is so important?’

‘Because it’s human.’

Ianto rolled his eyes and Jack smiled, they both knew it was his answer for everything, ‘but we prove everyday that it doesn’t matter if you’re human or not. The Universe is full of other life forms and cultures and we’re just one of millions. So why is love such an obsessed over concept on Earth? Surely adventure and exploration and uniqueness are just as important?’ He bought his leg up and rested his elbow on his knee, chewing his thumbnail thoughtfully and Jack turned his face to look at him.

‘You’ve been in love.’ Ianto glanced away and Jack continued regardless, ‘you know why.’

‘I haven’t forgotten,’ he replied and Jack took his hand, rubbing small circles on his wrist ‘it’s just...’ He sighed and Jack bought his hand up to his lips, bent his fingers and kissed his knuckles as he stared off into the distance.

‘Why do you want my opinion?’

Ianto kissed him softly and looked into his eyes, ‘because you already know Jack, because you’ve been in love and you’ve travelled the universe. You can tell me which is more worthwhile. And because you’ve died.’ Ianto’s voice wavered deeply and he took a second. ‘You know what’s coming for us - nothing. So how do you reconcile the fact that after seeing the things you’ve seen and travelling to the places you’ve travelled and saving the people you’ve saved you could fall in love with someone - anyone.’ He added quickly, averting his gaze and continuing, ‘but someone that you would love and have them be your life, until they die. And then they don’t remember you, there’s just nothing. Darkness. And that love is gone, like it never existed. It’s a useless experience, so how do you find anything to believe in after everything you know? What do you believe in if love is ultimately meaningless? I mean do you stop believing it? Do you forget about love and carry on travelling forever?’

Jack stared at him as he sat back and looked out into the sky again, ‘I prefer it when you’re quiet.’

Ianto let his head drop to the side and he smiled, ‘Jack.’

‘Ianto. Just because there is so much in the Universe to see and experience, it doesn’t make things worthless. It makes everything amazing in fact. And all that stuff you do whilst you travel – it’s just the in - between bits, real life is the normal stuff. Like standing on a rooftop in Cardiff.’ He looked back at him and Ianto slid down the wall slightly, leaning his head on his shoulder as he listened to him talk softly, ‘nothing is meaningless Ianto, especially not love - and like you say, a lifetimes nothing and then its over – for most anyway, so you should enjoy it while you have it.’

‘I guess so.’ He sighed and Jack wrapped an arm round his shoulder, ‘is that what we’re doing?’ He asked, ‘enjoying it while it lasts?’

Jack raised his eyebrows thoughtfully, ‘are you enjoying it?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then maybe we are,’ he replied, leaning down and murmuring conspiratorially into Ianto’s throat, ‘and maybe we’re in love.’

He laughed quietly and Jack kissed his neck as he grinned, ‘so you believe in it then?’

‘Every time,’ Jack nodded and Ianto stared at him, ‘It’s exhilarating and its pain and it’s everything, its bigger than the Universe. So do I believe in love Ianto? Yes. Always.’

He reached down and kissed him, moaned softly as Ianto twisted his hand in Jack’s shirt, tugging him closer and deepening it until they broke for breath.

‘I’m sorry.’ He leaned into him again and Jack wrapped his coat back round them, ‘I don’t know why I’m thinking about this.’

‘Yes you do.’ Jack kissed the top of his head and sighed. It was the anniversary of Lisa’s death and Ianto had been having more nightmares than normal recently. It occurred to Jack that he should probably acknowledge it now if ever, ‘and I do too, its fine. Wanna talk about it?’

‘No,’ he breathed, the wind dying down and the night stilling around them and he kissed down his neck, his hand wandering up Jack’s thigh, ‘do you still believe in sex?’

Jack gasped quietly as his fingers skimmed over his crotch and he let Ianto push him firmly to the floor, kiss him harder and stare down at him, ‘always.’

‘Good.’

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ianto hurried into the Hub, he was almost late and he was never late, it transpired that insomnia was playing havoc with his punctuality – even when Jack was pulling him constantly from his attempts to get dressed back into bed and pouncing on him Ianto was still always on time. He smiled at the memory of Jack’s face when Ianto had gone into the bathroom to get dressed one morning and come out declaring himself ready for work wearing only a new red tie. That morning had been dangerously close to being late. But this morning he was exhausted and had no Jack excuse…much as he’d like one. He sighed and mentally berated himself for thinking about him in that way. For a week now they had remained professional and friendly, it had been nice Ianto thought, after spectacularly fucking up and having mind blowing sex with him 7 days ago that they could remain on good terms. But they both knew something was missing. It wasn’t the same, it didn’t feel like them, it was too cosy, too false - there wasn’t the passion and tension that made their relationship infuriating and intense and Ianto knew this was how break ups went and he would just have to deal with it. Ianto was ‘just having’ to deal with a lot these days. He missed Jack, he slept better with Jack there and today, after last night’s two hours of nightmares there was something in the back of his mind and the depths of his stomach that was missing Jack’s smile and his infectious laughter and he walked up to his office like he was being drawn there.

Jack and Gwen looked up from where they were sharing coffee and talking quietly, leaning on Jack’s desk. Ianto’s eyes flicked over them and they stopped the conversation automatically.

‘Morning love.’ She smiled at him and Jack watched from behind his mug as Ianto took the scene in somewhat confusedly.

‘Morning.’

Their eyes met and Ianto felt Gwen watch them, ‘want some coffee?’

He snapped his attention back and looked at her, smiling widely, ‘always.’

‘Great,’ she stood up, ‘come on then I’d love one too.’

‘He’ll meet you there.’

Jack inhaled deeply and stared at her and her gaze went from him to Ianto, ‘Jack…-‘

He arched an eyebrow and she nodded quickly in agreement and left, glancing back and smiling at him softly. Ianto was feeling decidedly out of the loop and he turned frustratedly to Jack.

‘Did you want something?’

‘How are you?’

Ianto frowned at Jack’s concerned expression, ‘fine…’

‘Sure? You don’t want the day off…or anything?’

He gestured uselessly and Ianto shoved his hands in his pockets, ‘no. I’m fine. Do you want anything?’

‘No. No I’m good. Just if you’re fine…And you’re sure?’

‘Yes Jack. I’ll go get Gwen her coffee.’

Jack stared at him searchingly for a second and nodded, ‘okay.’

He returned to his station with his coffee, wondering what was going on and absently thinking that maybe Gwen and Jack had been infected with alien personalities but since they didn’t seem dangerous (weird but not dangerous) and he was so exhausted (insomnia becoming as natural as breathing to him at the moment) he would give it a few hours. He sipped his coffee slowly and let it warm him in the familiar damp coldness of the Hub, watching as Gwen busied herself nearby, occasionally throwing him a concerned glance.

She had been concerned with him all the time he had been making coffee, doing her subtle inquisition and making Ianto feel uneasy like there was something he should be worried about and he didn’t know what it was. But then again there was always something to be worried about here he reasoned, turning on his computer and logging in. He took another drink and pulled his chair over, standing by it and glancing over today’s information. His eyes flicked over the screen and the date flashed alarmingly in his mind, coffee dropping through his fingers and crashing to the floor and hot liquid pooling around his feet. He could feel his heart beat in his mouth and his stomach clench, his head seared with sharp pain and his throat went dry.

‘Ianto?’

Ianto’s heart beat hard and guilt washed over him in waves, drowning him in memory and hurt and he stumbled back, staring at the date and feeling Gwen grab him from falling.

‘Ianto, sweetheart? Ianto? Ianto can you hear me?’

He heard himself say something like yes and nodded blankly, turning to her and not really seeing her as he mumbled something about clearing up. He fled away from the computer, the digits of today’s date burning through his mind as he escaped to the lower levels, leaning against the wall and resting his forehead against it, the scrape of stone and the freezing temperature barely registering, he felt numb and he walked down to the depths of the Hub like he was being drawn there.

At some point he recognised the familiar feel of Jack resting next to him as he joined him on the floor and hesitantly put an arm around him. He was sitting against the wall, knees bought up to his chest and arms wrapped around them, his head in his hands and all he could feel was pain and blood and bile in the back of his throat. His chest hurt and his fingers gripped his hair painfully. Jack stuck his legs out and crossed them at the ankles, prised Ianto’s fingers away and let them fall onto his knees, he pulled him closer and kissed the top of head, flinching as Ianto tensed.

The walls were cold and dark and the room felt like it had ghosts swarming around it. The whole Hub was really just a mortuary, empty of real life and full of the dead, the team were just walking corpses and everywhere there were echoing memories of loss and the mixture was making his head hurt and his heart ache.

Jack ran his hand through Ianto’s hair gently, the light pressure of fingertips stroking the top of his neck and he could feel breath on his cheek as he leaned in close, his forehead resting against the side of Ianto’s head as he murmured to him softly. Ianto took a stuttering breath and went back to suppressing sobs, he had had to come down here. Sit against the wall and stare into nothing. He had had to come to what he still thought of as her room. He had had to come and remember her and when he walked in all he could see was him pointing a gun and blood and metal and flesh and cries of pain.

‘How did you find me?’

Ianto’s voice rasped against the soreness on his throat, like sandpaper and it hurt as he swallowed past it. Jack let his arm rest heavily across his shoulders, his hair brush Ianto’s forehead as he held him and talked quietly into his shoulder, ‘you know.’

Ianto did know - heat signals would have led him to the basement. To the room. To her room.

‘And I thought I might find you here today. If you came in that is, I wasn’t expecting you to. I knew you were acting too normally.’

Jack sighed softly and Ianto continued to just sit with his head in his hands, his eyes closed against the world as he forced himself to speak.

‘I forgot.’

Jack opened his eyes and looked at him, ‘what?’

‘I forgot.’ Ianto repeated, his voice slurred with emotion and he felt his stomach flip as he looked past Jack into the darkness of the room, ‘I was just working and I saw the date and…’ he turned his head and wretched painfully, his body twisting from Jack and muscles convulsing as his throat constricted and left him breathing heavily.

Jack pulled him slowly back and stroked his hair as Ianto leant into him this time, his chest heaving, ‘shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay, shhh.’

‘No.’ He shook his head forcefully and Jack gripped him tighter as he sobbed angrily, ‘no, it’s not alright. I forgot Jack, I forgot her! I’m a horrible person.’

‘No.’ Jack turned his face to look at him and Ianto wrenched his eyes away, ‘no.’

‘Do you really believe that?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re wrong.’

‘No.’

‘Yes.’ Ianto stilled and sagged against the wall, tears falling silently down his cheeks, ‘yes I am. I forgot.’

‘You were just living your life,’ Jack replied softly, his hand running slowly up and down his arm, ‘that’s good. You remember her all the time, every day. Today doesn’t mean anything Ianto, it’s just another day.’

They sat in silence for a long time, Ianto’s face stained with tears and Jack occasionally brushed a stray one away until his breathing returned to normal and he buried his head in Jack’s shoulder, closed his eyes and rested for a while, let the memories overtake him and overwhelm him until he exhausted himself. Jack took a deep breath and Ianto sighed against his throat, bought his eyes up to his and Jack stroked his thumb along his jaw, smiled sadly at him, he looked broken and gaunt and Jack rested their foreheads together. He felt Ianto move a millimetre towards him and closed the rest of the distance to let their lips touch softly, brush past each other and Ianto closed his eyes as he let him tilt his head and kiss him a little deeper, a bit longer, touch his face gently and part his lips with his tongue before he pulled back and looked at the floor.

‘Not here. I can’t.’

Jack sighed and nodded understandingly, ‘okay. I’m sorry. Are you ready to leave?’ Ianto looked around, the room had always been damp, had made Lisa’s electrical set up difficult, there was still stains on the floor and it looked oddly huge in here without her, he didn’t need to be here any longer he thought, Jack whispering to him softly still, ‘do you want to stay for a while longer? Ianto?’

‘Mm. No.’

Jack watched as he rubbed the heel of his hands into his eyes and looked up blearily, ‘come on, you can go to my room if you want. You must be tired.’ Ianto made a noise that sounded like agreement and Jack looked at him curiously, ‘have you been sleeping? Ianto?’ Ianto glanced away guiltily and Jack clenched his jaw, ‘when was the last time you slept?’

‘Don’t know.’ He sighed and hung his head low, staring at the floor and Jack felt angry at the fact he hadn’t noticed. When they were together Ianto would nearly always sleep for a few hours, get up and return to bed in the early hours of the morning, sleep for another hour and get up. It was a pattern and the more stressed he got the fewer the hours became and the more nightmares he had. Jack had always been there with him and the next day it was like it had never happened. After a while Jack had checked up on him – his medical history and looked for indicators of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, still wasn’t totally convinced he didn’t have it.

‘Okay. Come on, you can just rest for a while.’ He hauled himself up and helped Ianto to his feet, half directing him to his quarters and Ianto dragged his feet, stood uselessly at the door until Jack steered him to the bed and pushed him down softly.

‘I’m gonna make you a drink okay?’

Ianto nodded, staring at Jack’s Webley and seeing flashes in his mind of it pointed at his head, pointed at Lisa and he moved quickly across the room into Jack’s bathroom, curled over the toilet and wretched noisily, throwing up twice. He stayed bent over it for minute and caught his breath as Jack watched nervously and poured him a glass of water, handing it over and letting Ianto drink it slowly.

‘You should sleep.’

Jack gestured to the bed and Ianto sat back against the wall, looked up at him and shook his head, ‘we both know I won’t.’

‘I can give you something?’

……….

Jack made his way back into the Hub and stood over Gwen at her station. She turned to look at him.

‘How is he?’

‘I sedated him.’

‘What?!’ Gwen’s eyes widened and Jack stared at her.

‘I sedated him. He hasn’t slept more than a few hours every night for God knows how many weeks Gwen, I sedated him.’

Jack knew it was the right thing to do, knew Ianto would be better when he slept and knew Gwen would bug him about this. She looked at him suspiciously.

‘Did he tell you that?’

‘He doesn’t need to I know, and he practically admitted it anyway.’ Gwen didn’t look convinced and he nodded defiantly, ‘it’s better this way.’

‘He said it was okay to sedate him?’

‘He didn’t want to,’ Jack admitted, sighing deeply and rubbing his hands over his face as he sat down next to her, ‘he’s already been on meds for ages that he hardly ever takes. I thought…I mean…he was sleeping better just before he left me anyway.’ He frowned and Gwen let him keep talking, ‘maybe it got worse then, which would be a month ago. Fuck. Anyway, he needs to sleep either way Gwen, he’s exhausted.’

She pouted thoughtfully and he swung on his chair as he waited for her to speak, ‘are you sure it isn’t just this anniversary? I mean, is it like this every year? I know last year you took him away…’

‘We were together then. And no,’ Jack replied. Last year he had taken him away, but not far. Just away from the Hub. He rolled his eyes as he berated himself for not doing something for him this year, having let their relationship issues take over his friendship with him. His role as his boss. Interoffice relationships with employees who have ex- dead girlfriends just didn’t work whichever way you swung it. ‘He just…didn’t cope well when he realised he forgot.’

‘He forgot?’

Jack nodded. ‘Mm.’

‘Oh God.’ Gwen looked away and rocked on her chair for a second, ‘will he be okay?’

‘I don’t know,’ Jack answered truthfully. Inhaling sharply and changing the subject. ‘How’s the rift?’

‘Erm, I have some police reports of something, seems minor, I could get Andy to help if you want to stay with him?’

‘Yeah. Thanks. Stay on comm. and come back when you’re done to check in.’

‘Of course, see you later.’

Jack watched her leave, went down to where Ianto was now sleeping a drug induced sleep and helped make him more comfortable, taking off his jacket and tie and unbuttoning the top of his shirt and his waist coat. He pulled off his shoes and moved the blanket round him, placing all the items of clothing with his coat and absently noting a noise from the inside pocket, he thrust his hand inside and bought out a small prescription bottle of sleeping medication. It was dated 2 weeks ago and full and Jack sighed. Clearly neither of them were sleeping well alone, he bent down and stroked Ianto’s hair, watching as he breathed in and shifted beneath the blanket sleepily. He crouched beside him and leant in closely, his hair brushing Ianto’s cheek as he kissed him quietly.

‘Ianto Jones,’ he sighed, whispering against him sadly, ‘what are you doing to us?’

PART 8

Nothing's Fair in Love and War - 6/10: Posted for Smut Sunday

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:25:16 GMT

Title: Nothing’s fair in Love and War - 6/10
Rating: NC17 for the whole thing.
Warnings/Spoilers: Set after Series 2. Slash/Language.
Characters: Torchwood Team Fic – Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Sequel to my fic – Sex, Lies and CCTV. Jack and Ianto deal with the end of their relationship.
A/N: Because experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
A/N 2: Nice long smutty, angst filled chapter for you all. Dedicated to Nadine morgiabecause she is gorgeous, her comments are beautiful and she needs cuddles. *Cuddle*

Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part One
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Two
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Three
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Four
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Five

‘Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.’ Lane Olinghouse.

The pub wasn’t crowded but wasn’t empty and it was raining outside, the rift had been far too active and Torchwood had been far too tense and a sudden lull in paperwork had found all of them out before 5 and drinking. For the first time in what felt like ages they were all acting relatively normally and it all felt far too comfortable. Too much like old times with him and Jack, Ianto thought, back when there wasn’t overwhelming angst and anger but just ever present sexual tension and flirting and it was dangerously close to being like the beginning of their relationship and Jack had that glint in his eyes that he knew too well.
He glanced over to him for the seventh time in as many minutes and Ianto held his gaze for a second, looking back to Gwen when she asked him something.

‘Sorry, what?’

‘I said lets go and get another drink.’

‘But I –‘

‘It wasn’t a question.’

She yanked him up to the bar, leaving Jack and Rhys together chatting and stood at the Bar. Ianto smiled at the server, gesturing for the same again and Gwen gleamed at him annoyingly.

‘What?!’

‘You’re making eyes at Jack.’

She nodded her eyebrows towards him knowingly and he stared at her.

‘I’m not.’

‘Yes you are,’ she grinned, ‘Ianto, accept it – you want him back.’

He was silent for a second, looked over at Jack grinning and shook his head without looking back at her.

‘No.’

‘Yes.’ Gwen took her drink and leaned on the bar watching him and catching him smiling as Jack laughed across the room. She grinned and hit him softly, dragging his attention back to her, ‘oh my God you do!’

He shifted against the bar uncomfortably and took a sip of his pint. ‘Gwen I haven’t had sex for three weeks, I’m about to jump you.’

She grimaced, ‘thanks.’

‘Uh huh.’

They stood together and she watched as he stole glances of him over his drink.

‘Ianto, Jack hasn’t slept with anyone since you either. Both of you - get laid already.’

He looked back at her and shook his head.

‘Gwen you know we can’t.’

‘Oh, BOLLUCKS! I don’t know that. Why can’t you? You’re blatantly in love Ianto. And he loves you too. So why not?’

Ianto ignored her, his phone was beeping and he looked down. He had adapted some tech from Tosh’s old stuff so rift alerts and police reports went straight to his mobile.

‘Shit. Alien attack 7 miles away – Jack!’

……………………………..

Ianto watched Jack steadily as he sat back in the sofa and put his legs on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles and letting his head drop back exhausted. It was after midnight and they had been working since 5 that evening, not to mention the rest of the day, however, there had been a lot happen in that short amount of time and Ianto knew that Jack was blaming himself for all of it. So he straightened his tie and took a deep breath, picking up the Scotch and a couple of glasses and walking warily over to the sofa. It would be fine he convinced himself, he could comfort Jack, have a couple of drinks and leave without undoing all he had done for the past three weeks.

He took a deep breath and walked over, knew Jack knew he was there even if he did have his eyes closed and he sat down next to him, pouring out two glasses and looking sideways at him as he opened an eye.

‘Hi.’

‘You should go home.’

Ianto knew he should, he was exhausted and injured and half way between annoyed at the fact that he had stitches in his head and shaken at Jack’s face when his blood had gotten on him. He hadn’t taken it well and Ianto had watched on worriedly as Jack had scrubbed his hands raw - the fact that Gwen had broken her arm had only added to the stress of the day and Ianto had never been less sure about how to approach a situation.

‘I’m not tired.’

‘Liar.’

Ianto shook his head, ‘large amounts of coffee, a head wound and the adrenaline thereof? Nope, I’m wide awake. Here have a drink.’

Jack sighed and took the glass gratefully, swirling it for a second and knocking it back quickly, placing it back on the table with a crash and sitting back frustratedly.

‘You okay?’

Ianto gulped his down slower and watched as Jack slumped on the sofa and ran his hands down his face, turning and looking at Ianto’s stitches pointedly.

‘Are you?’

‘I’m fine Jack,’ Ianto replied softly, ‘you know I am.’

‘Gwen –‘

‘Gwen’s okay too,’ he reassured quickly, ‘she’ll be fine. Rhys is with her. Predictably mad at you – but there all the same. And you know what they said, two days and she’ll be back and bossing us around before you know it.’

He smiled and Jack just stared back.

‘It isn’t funny.’

‘I know.’

He sighed and handed Jack another drink, watching disapprovingly as he knocked it back quickly again and turned to him.

‘You should go home, I’ll do the reports.’

Ianto sat silently for a minute, knew he was making a mistake by staying but couldn’t help remembering Jack comforting him a million times before and feeling the need to repay it.

‘Jack, it isn’t your fault.’

Ianto looked across at him and Jack clenched his jaw.

‘Isn’t it?’ He asked angrily, ‘Gwen’s in hospital, you have stitches, three people died and I couldn’t stop it Ianto – I couldn’t –‘

‘Jack, you can’t stop everything, it isn’t your fault and I’m fine, Gwen is fine. So stop.’

Jack stared back for a second and then poured another shot for them both, sipping it slowly this time.

‘I am so exhausted of all of this.’

Ianto breathed in sharply and shook his head.

‘You’re not Jack. You’ve been here for over a hundred years, you’ve been leading for seven, you’re not tired of Torchwood - you’re tired of being the only one to take responsibility, you’re tired of blaming yourself, so stop doing it.’

Ianto looked off into the Hub and finished his drink as they sat together in silence.

‘I missed you. This -’ Jack gestured between them and looked into his eyes, ‘talking at night.’

Ianto didn’t reply, just sat back against the sofa and ignored his thigh brushing Jack’s and the rush of emotion that shot through his head when it did, instead letting his eyes fall shut and breathing evenly. Jack shifted next to him, wriggling down and resting his head on his shoulder as Ianto physically stopped himself from reaching out to him. Ianto silently willed his heart to stop thumping so hard, he knew he shouldn’t sleep with Jack tonight- really, really shouldn’t but he couldn’t not think about Jack’s shoulder against his, Jack’s breath on his neck, all he could smell was Jack and it had been so long since he’d felt loved. Lips brushed under his ear and he snapped his eyes open, turning and seeing Jack looking up at him questioningly, leaning in slowly and leaving another kiss just below his jaw line.

‘Jack –‘

‘Ianto,’ Jack murmured against him as he kissed his neck softly and Ianto fought against the feelings rising in his chest.

‘Jack, no.’

‘Yes,’ Jack said defiantly, turning into his body and kissing along his throat, moving a hand along his thigh, between his legs and Ianto breathed in sharply, turning and pressing his lips to Jack’s, kissing him deeply and pushing his body into his. Ianto cupped his cheek, groaned when Jack moved his hand higher up the inside of his thigh.

‘Jack –‘ Ianto tried to protest, pushing his crotch into Jack’s hand and breathing softly into his mouth as he moved under his body.

Jack pulled his tie open and kissed him hard, ‘what?’ He asked, moving lips frantically down his neck and pulling his own shirt off. Ianto gasped as Jack opened his trousers, rubbed his hand into his boxers and was momentarily distracted by Jack’s chest, he was quite sure it had never been that gorgeous before and he realised he was staring.

‘We shouldn’t,’ he explained as Jack grabbed his hands and placed them on his belt, Ianto automatically opening it.

‘We should,’ Jack replied, pulling Ianto’s shirts over his head and lacing their fingers together, pushing him back into the sofa and biting down his stomach.

‘Yeah?’ Ianto panted, pulling Jack’s trousers down and lifting his hips up so Jack could do the same. He threw both pairs through the air as they kissed deeply and wrapped around each other. Ianto groaned loudly as Jack’s body lay over his, his voice muffled as he kissed him.

‘Definitely.’

Jack stopped and looked up at him and they both knew there was no turning back, Ianto reached forward and grabbed him, turning him into the cushions and straddling him, fingers digging into his thighs and heart rate quickening as their crotches ground together and Ianto gasped into Jack’s mouth. He felt him as he moved slowly beneath him, delicately, hesitatingly, like he couldn’t quite believe it was happening and he was here all at once and somewhere else entirely, hard flesh rubbing against Ianto’s as they kissed and he moved Jack’s hand back down between his legs, biting his lip as it wrapped around both their erections and pulled firmly.

Ianto groaned loudly, ‘God Jack,’ he bowed his head into Jack’s chest kissing it wetly and biting as Jack reached his hand round and his fingers travelled slowly to Ianto’s arse.

‘What do you want?’

Ianto looked up from his collar bone, Jack had always asked him that, in the beginning, before they both knew or guessed with accuracy what the other wanted, before words weren’t necessary because they both ran on instinct. Well - Jack ran on instinct and Ianto ran on minutely analysed previous experience, except now it appeared that they were back to the beginning and they were both as unsure as each other.

Jack groped on the floor for lube from his coat as Ianto’s mind quickly ran into overdrive, half formed ideas flashing temptingly as Jack’s cock continued to grind into his. He continued kissing Jack’s throat as he thought, it had been so long since he’d been fucked and suddenly he was sure and all he wanted was Jack inside him, hard and deep, he looked at him.

‘Fuck me. Up against the wall.’

Jack grinned and Ianto kissed it away, pulled him up, walking him across the floor, hands running over his skin as Jack slicked his fingers and Ianto pushed him backwards, crashing him hard into the wall and then turning them so he was pressed up against the surface, their breathe coming short and hard as they kissed recklessly.

He reached his hand up and gripped the corner of the wall and Jack bit down on his neck, reached behind and pushed two fingers inside him. Ianto gasped loudly and Jack stopped, ‘don’t,’ he breathed in sharply and wrapped his leg round Jack’s waist. ‘Don’t stop - more,’ Jack kissed his mouth, looked at him, kissed him again and lifted him up against the wall gripping him hard and he shifted slightly, kissing him back and stealing a lungful of air as Jack penetrated him slowly.

It had been so long and Ianto couldn’t remember why - why they had stopped doing this, why he had been saying no and all he could say now was yes, yes, yes. Jack pushing him higher up with his thrusts, the whole occurrence too dramatic to stay slow as the tension rose again and frantic lust took over.

Ianto grabbed above his head with one hand for leverage the other gripping the back of Jack’s neck, tangling in his hair. He reached his head down and kissed him messily, gasping into his mouth as Jack fucked him deeper, inching inside of him more until he was as far as he could go. Ianto cried out as Jack started hitting his prostate repeatedly with every forced thrust and accompanying grunt as both tried to fuck away the feelings and memories of the past few weeks with pain and pleasure and noise and sweat.

Ianto dragged his fingernails down Jack’s back and arched his neck, his head thumping lightly against the side of the wall, sweat beading on the small of his back and he thrust down on him, panting hard as Jack filled him and stretched him and completed him and made his body ache and his soul hurt and his heart long and his chest tighten.

He reached down to his erection, stroking himself roughly and Jack watched, groaned loudly, burying his head in his shoulder and muffling his cry as he came hard. It hadn’t taken long and Ianto knew it was because Jack loved this position, made him love it too, ever since he had leaned up against a shelf in the Archives and asked Jack to file him away, finding himself lifted up and fucked against them until they were broken and he couldn’t see straight.

He stopped his hand and cupped himself firmly, let Jack come long and hard inside him. Ianto could feel him pulse and finally still and he dropped one leg, his foot not quite reaching the floor. He could vaguely feel fingers still digging into his thighs and hips, bruising the pale skin as Jack still held him up against the wall, looking back up at him and kissing him. Ianto took a breath and clenched lightly around Jack, making him gasp quietly and move into him a bit deeper reaching between them and taking Ianto’s hand away, using his own instead, pumping him quickly and rocking against him, Ianto bit his lip and Jack kissed him hard. He was still pushed inside him half hard as Ianto came, his orgasm convulsing through him, forcing himself into Jack’s fist and digging his fingernails deeply into the back of his neck.

They stilled finally and Jack pulled out slowly, supporting him as they stood together catching their breath. He leaned forward and kissed him and Ianto responded lazily until their pulse rates slowed.

‘Jack…’

‘Stay.’

‘I shouldn’t –‘

‘Stay. Just for tonight,’ Ianto looked past him and Jack rested against him, cupping his cheek, making him look back to him as he spoke quietly, ‘I didn’t know that you were never going to sleep in the same bed as me again last time, so…just stay tonight. Please. I miss saying good night to you.’

He bowed his head into Ianto’s neck and kissed his heart beat and Ianto sighed softly.

‘You still say it anyway. Every night I get your message.’

Jack’s breath caught and he spoke into Ianto’s shoulder, ‘you never reply.’

‘It hurts too much.’

‘It’s just goodnight.’

Ianto looked at him, his lips soft from kissing and his gaze dropped to the floor. ‘Is it?’

‘I promised I would always say it. So I always do,’ Jack replied and ran a hand down his chest, ‘will you stay?’

Ianto closed his eyes and silently cursed his decision making ability, tried to resist and knew he never would. Wanted to lie in Jack’s arms so badly, wanted to kiss him until they fell asleep and not think about the morning, never think about what was coming next. He nodded against him and kissed him softly.

‘Yes.’

…………………..

Ianto had that horrible feeling that he was awake and intuitively knew he didn’t want to be, his head was killing him, his arm was at a weird angle, he was too warm and his body felt heavy and light all at once, a lingering consequence of sex with Jack. It took him a minute to realise that Jack was meant to be the reason he was waking up with this uneasy feeling. It had felt normal to sleep next to him, hear him breathing deeply, see the rise and fall of his chest, feel skin and heat. His face was an inch away from his hair and he inhaled softly, breathing in his scent, he strained his hearing and his eyes trying to place what time it was. None of his clothes were down here and he couldn’t hear anything, his internal clock was telling him it was about six and he looked around discreetly, trying to find his phone but he couldn’t see it. Jack shifted, turning round and facing him, his eyes opening slowly. They lay staring at each silently for a few moments and Jack ran his thumb under Ianto’s stitches, his eyes flashing with hurt and blame as Ianto looked away.

‘Hey.’

‘Morning,’ Ianto’s voice was too quiet and he didn’t know what to say, ‘erm…I should go.’ He started to get up and Jack caught his wrist.

‘Ianto.’

‘Jack – no.’ He looked away and Jack kissed his wrist slowly, watched him cautiously as he did it.

‘Ianto –‘

‘I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have,’ Ianto shook his head and looked at Jack pleadingly, ‘it was a mistake. We can’t keep doing this to each other, I’m better off - you’re better off without me, its better we stop now, sooner rather than later. Please Jack.’

Jack sat up and moved his face close enough to feel Ianto’s breath on his, watched as Ianto closed his eyes, he ran his nose along his jaw line, ghosted a kiss across his mouth.

‘Jack,’ Ianto murmured against him, not moving away but not leaning in, ‘it was a mistake, I’m sorry.’ Jack kissed him softly, bought his hand up to his shoulder when he didn’t move and kissed him again, nudging him with his lips.

‘Some mistakes are worth making,’ he breathed and Ianto suddenly found himself kissing him back, opening his lips and leaning Jack back into the bed, holding himself above him and licking his tongue into his mouth deeply.

He could feel him beneath him, pushed his hips into his and moaned lightly, Jack ran his hands down his back and pulled him down into him.

‘Ianto –‘

‘Shhh,’ he leant down and kissed him again, moving Jack’s legs open and positioning between him, pushing their crotches together. It wasn’t like last night, frantic and hard and want and unsure because Ianto knew that he needed this, Jack needed him and Jack loved him and he loved Jack and this was them saying good bye. It wasn’t a mistake, it was just the end.

He wrapped his arms round his neck and Ianto reached under the pillow, pulled out lube and lightly coated his fingers as he rubbed against him. He moved his hand down his body and Jack arched into him, breathing into his chest as Ianto moved him up to kiss him deeply, pushed a finger into him and kissed down his neck as he replaced it with another. Jack murmured quietly when Ianto stroked past his prostate and he repeated it, thrusting them in and out deeply and slowly as Jack pushed up against him, groaning in the back of his throat.

‘Ianto – stop, don’t I’ll –‘

‘Shhh.’

Ianto kissed him and rubbed into him again, watching him writhing and biting his lip, pushing his legs higher whilst Ianto moved his hips rhythmically. Jack cupped the back of his head hard, gasping in a breath as Ianto manipulated him round his fingers, applying constant pressure inside him and moving above him, his erection grinding into his as he desperately moved beneath him. Ianto continued pushing his fingers into him and rubbing gently, Jack groaning loudly as Ianto kept them buried deep and reached his other hand down, taking Jack’s swollen flesh in his palm and rubbing gently, running his fingers up and down him as his other hand worked in and out of his arse. He felt him come a few moments later, shuddering beneath him as they kissed, pushing his face into his shoulder and breathing hard as he pulled him closer. Ianto finally removing his fingers, thrusting his hips gently against Jack’s as his orgasm pulsed through him until he lay back into the mattress and sighed happily, reached up and pulled Ianto to him again, kissing him slowly.

They lay together in silence for a few seconds and Ianto knew he should go, that this should be the end and Jack seemed to sense it somehow. He pulled the sheet back up over them and looked at him.

‘You know, it’s still early. And you didn’t…’

Jack moved closer to him and Ianto stared at the ceiling.

‘Doesn’t matter. I should get up.’

‘Ianto –‘

Jack grabbed him and reached down, Ianto was hard, had been since he’d decided to bring Jack off but wasn’t about to continue this.

‘Jack, no – last night –‘ he moved away and Jack’s eyes flashed.

‘Did I hurt you?’

‘No!’ He replied quickly and Jack relaxed, he shook his head, ‘no, it’s just last night was a mistake and this morning…this morning was for you.’ Jack frowned and Ianto fell heavily back into the mattress, ‘but nothing’s changed. This is it, the end. We still want different things.’

Jack sighed frustratedly, ‘I want you. And I know you want me. It’s not that different.’

‘Jack –‘

‘Shut up.’

Ianto found himself pressed into the mattress and being kissed hard. He rolled his eyes and Jack pressed against his lips until Ianto cupped the back of his head and kissed back. He watched as Jack disappeared under the sheet, licking and nipping down his stomach, pushing his legs apart and taking him in his mouth. Ianto’s neck arched back and groaned loudly as Jack sucked him slowly, he tangled his fingers in his hair and closed his eyes, moaning quietly when Jack relaxed his throat and took him in deeply, sucking hard and pulling back after a few moments.

He moved up him and kissed him and Ianto thrust his tongue against his, stroked himself as he turned Jack back under him, lined up and pushed inside him. He was still open from earlier and Jack bit his lip as Ianto hit his sensitised prostate, thrusting in deep and slow. Jack clenched round him softly and Ianto moved faster, face hidden in his chest and breathing erratically as Jack whimpered at the harder movement, his eyes closed tight and murmuring to Ianto as he pushed into him repeatedly. He dug his fingers in Jack’s thighs hard as Jack opened them wider, letting Ianto in deeper and his nails pierced his skin as he finally came inside him. He stroked his hair as Ianto rocked against him slowly, riding out the vestiges of his orgasm until he kissed his shoulder and let himself fall away, moving onto his side and resting his hand laced in Jack’s over his chest.

There were still no noise from above; just their heavy breathing and his eyes had focused as much as they would in the surrounding darkness. He thought about what he’d done, three weeks without Jack and once again he had ended up in his bed, given Jack false hope and he mentally berated himself for being so awful, giving in so easily, using him again and wanting it so badly.

Jack had a leg wrapped round his and was kissing along his shoulder gently, nuzzling him in the darkness and Ianto let the moment happen, knowing he would leave soon and Jack would be alone again. Better now then in the future Ianto reminded himself, better sooner rather than later. He had to make it a choice, a decision, not let something else control it, because if something took Ianto from Jack in the future, when they were invested, it would be too much, it would destroy him. Which is why Ianto would have to leave now and save him the heartache, let him get over it before they were both in this too deep. He had to leave him.

Jack nudged his nose with his and kissed him lightly as Ianto sighed, ‘are you going to say goodbye to me now?’

‘Are you ready for me to say goodbye?’ Jack asked deeply, his hand travelling down Ianto’s side and his fingertips dragging across his skin.

‘Yes.’ Ianto wanted him to say it so badly, let him go. Save them both.

Jack smiled and ran his hand down his cheek instead, ‘you’re lying. You don't want me to give up on us yet.’ He stole a last kiss and stared at him hard as Ianto frowned, ‘when you believe yourself, I’ll believe you too.’

He hauled himself up and padded nakedly across the room, turning suddenly and looking back to him, grinning lopsidedly, ‘oh and – Good Morning Ianto.’

Part Seven

A/N 3: Well, so, there you go. Haven’t written sex in a while, hope it didn’t show…

Nothing's Fair in Love and War - 5/10

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 14:57:36 GMT

Title: Nothing’s fair in Love and War – 5/10
Rating: NC17 for the whole thing.
Warnings/Spoilers: Set after Series 2. Slash/Language.
Characters: Torchwood Team Fic – Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Sequel to my fic – Sex, Lies and CCTV. Jack and Ianto deal with the end of their relationship. Flashbacks are indicated with ‘xxxxxxx’s….’
A/N: Because Hell hath no fury like a Captain scorned.

This is for lucy_locketit isn't good enough for her but its for her none the less. I have no words for how awesome she is. She looks after me. And no one does that anymore, so thank you sweetie.

Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part One
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Two
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Three
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Four

‘The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.’ Herb Caen.

Jack sat back in his chair and twirled his pencil in his fingers, going over in his mind for the millionth time memories of Ianto, everything reminded him of something and it was becoming harder to act like it wasn’t affecting him. He saw Ianto’s car pull up in the car park on the CCTV and sighed, he missed his aftershave and his laugh he thought, breath on his neck when he slept, talking in bed, kissing in the rain, hands under his coat, lips on his – he clenched his jaw and realised he had snapped his pencil.

He rocked backwards on his chair and stood up, he knew it was a bad idea but to be honest he didn’t care, everything was telling him he should – would, go and talk to him, because you never knew where it would get you. He stood up quickly and walked out into the Hub just as Gwen walked in noisily and took off her coat, standing behind Ianto and Jack moved out the way, watching them both carefully.

‘My husband wants to know if you want to and go and watch the rugby this weekend.’

‘Tell your husband I’m already going with someone and I’ll meet him there if he wants.’

Gwen sat down next to him and watched as he went through daily rift rituals that Tosh would have already taken care of, ‘you’re already going?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘But you didn’t go to the last three,’ she replied curiously and Ianto rolled his eyes.

‘I was busy for those.’

‘Busy?’

‘Doing…erm…’ Ianto glanced away and Jack smiled, he had spent the last three rugby matches with him. In bed. Jack loved Sundays.

‘Jack?’ Gwen asked smiling and Ianto nodded.

‘Yep.’

‘Uh huh. So not busy anymore?’

‘You know I’m not.’

‘Okay.’ She nodded slowly and he turned his head round warily.

‘Wait – are you coming?’

‘No,’ Gwen said, ‘date with my mother.’ She sighed and Ianto turned back as she continued, ‘I’m kinda hoping I’m killed by a weevil before it so I don’t have to talk about grandchildren constantly. Why?’

‘No reason,’ Ianto shook his head and smiled to himself, ‘just…I’m pretty sure you permanently damaged my hearing last time that’s all – Ow!

He flinched and Gwen scowled as he rubbed his shoulder.

‘I am not loud.’

‘You’re certainly not quiet.’ Ianto replied distractedly and Jack grinned as he continued, ‘you know Gavin Henson can’t actually understand you from that distance and even if he could he wouldn’t take your advice. Ow!’

Jack snorted silently as Ianto jerked away and Gwen glared at him.

‘You’re right,’ he agreed, ‘sorry…You’re as quiet as a…foghorn. Ow! Stop it!’

She grinned and he moved more than an arms length away. Jack stifled a laugh as he watched, he loved that Gwen and Ianto got on well these days. Even if they did argue like children.

‘Why do you smell of woman’s perfume?’

Jack’s head snapped up and he listened carefully.

‘What?’ Ianto frowned and Gwen sniffed him.

‘Yeah, you smell of Chanel.’

Jack frowned and realised he wasn’t breathing, he stared at Ianto intently and noted he had tired eyes and was wearing the same suit as yesterday.

‘Are you sure you’re not just smelling yourself?’

‘No.’ Gwen replied obviously and Jack realised Ianto was even wearing the same tie as yesterday, ‘I know what I smell of.’

Ianto grinned, ‘so many responses…so little time.’

‘Shut up.’

Jack tapped his foot impatiently, he couldn’t believe Ianto had spent the night with someone else. A woman. And had come into work unashamedly smelling of her.

‘Work you two!’ They both looked up at him as he swept through, ‘Gwen – meeting, now.’

He slammed the door and they looked at each other warily.

‘What did you do?’

‘Nothing.’ He said, ‘what did you do?’

‘Nothing.’ She stared at him confused as they heard a loud crash from Jack’s office, ‘fuck.’

‘Yep.’

....................

Gwen watched Jack slam the phone down and walked into his office sitting down opposite him defiantly, ‘what is going on with you!?’

‘Nothing.’ Jack realised he didn’t know what he was going to do with Gwen now that he had asked her to come in, he had just had to end that conversation.

‘Don’t lie.’

She put a pen in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

‘Leave it Gwen.’

‘So there is something then?’

‘No.’

They glared at each other and Jack tapped his finger impatiently on the desk.

‘Jack, what is it?’

‘Gwen!’

She sighed and glanced at her watch, ‘Jack, whatever it is, and it’s clearly Ianto, just tell me.’

They continued to glare at each other and Jack realised it was Gwen he was talking to and there every chance she would sit here until the end of time - and thanks to his extreme wealth of knowledge on that subject he knew it was fucking ages away.

‘Ianto.’

‘Thought as much,’ she grinned smugly and he seriously considered throwing her out, ‘what about him?’

‘You saw him.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Well isn’t it obvious?’

His fingernails dug into his palm and he realised how petty he sounded. It was a while since he had been in a relationship like this - not since a particularly emotional boyfriend that had thrived on angst and created more dramatics than a soap opera and whom Jack had loved and hated all at once, using every tactic under the various Sun’s to get rid of him and win him back time and again until thy were both crazy. This was different though, Ianto and he weren’t meant to be dramatic and petty. Jack wasn’t meant to get jealous. And Ianto wasn’t meant to make him. It was infuriating.

‘Noooo.’ Gwen twirled her pen in her hair annoyingly and looked like she was enjoying being who Jack came to for…help, ‘looked like Ianto. Suit. Tie. Expensive shoes – which I still don’t know how he pays for.’

‘You don’t want to.’ Jack huffed, ‘and that’s what I mean. His suit. It’s the same as yesterday.’

He sat back as if he had proved a point and Gwen raised her eyebrows. ‘Oh.’

Jack sighed, she clearly wasn’t getting this.

‘And he smelt of women’s perfume…’ He widened his eyes and she finally understood.

‘Oh – you think he…maybe…spent the night with someone?’

Jack glanced away quickly and crossed his arms.

‘I don’t know what I think. I have to get out for a bit. Hold down the fort.’

Gwen stood up and he raked his hands through his hair, also standing and putting his coat on. She leaned over and touched his arm gently.

‘You don’t know for sure Jack,’ she shrugged, ‘I think he’s still all about you personally – just, don’t jump to conclusions if you can’t prove it.’

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

‘You don’t stay dead.’

Ianto walked into his office and sat down opposite him. Files in one hand, not even a cup of coffee as an excuse and not waiting for an invitation to sit down. It was practically a dramatic entrance for the young unassuming man Jack had recently hired. However, Jack knew different, knew how exciting that unassuming demeanour was, knew that underneath it was the potential for something brilliant and wondered not for the first time why exactly he had felt he had had to pursue it and hired a man who knew a lot more about everything than he should. Especially, it appeared, with this most recent discovery.

‘Excuse me?’

‘You die, but you don’t stay dead.’

He said it almost as if it was an answer to something mundane about paperwork but there was a steely glare in his eyes and Jack reminded himself that Ianto Jones was still something of an enigma, not least because no one was as normal as he made himself out to be on paper. There was more to Ianto than he was letting on and Jack had intended to discover what it was but it seemed he had been superseded and Ianto had figured him out first.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Yes.’ Ianto grinned that small grin he had that Jack couldn’t get enough of, it was a knowing smile with the hint of a threat, ‘you do.’

‘Okay,’ Jack grinned back just as threateningly and nodded to him, ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘That’s potentially more accurate.’ Ianto agreed and sat up straighter in the chair.
‘But unfortunately for you, not true either. ’

‘I have things to do.’

Jack made to stand up and Ianto looked down at his hands in his lap.

‘Is it dying and coming back to life?’

He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow and Jack clenched his jaw.

‘Ianto –‘

‘Sir. I know it’s true, I’ve read the files.’

Jack sat back down and leaned across the desk, rested on his forearms and tilted his head amusedly, ‘you shouldn’t believe everything you read.’

Ianto gave a small nod of seeming acceptance and then reached out, placed the file he had been holding on the desk in front of Jack, opened the front cover and spread the first few pages out. Accounts and pictures, reports and mission reviews of Jack’s deaths at Torchwood over the years fell across the surface and Ianto stared at him pointedly.

‘Okaaay.’

Jack sat back and Ianto raised an eyebrow questioningly.

‘How is it possible?’

‘It isn’t.’

He grinned and Ianto stared back.

‘Clearly it is.’

‘You know everything. You tell me.’

The atmosphere in the room shifted and suddenly Ianto was at a loss, his hands splayed on the desk and he regarded Jack coolly as he thought.

‘You’re…wrong.’

The words hit home and Jack flinched, his eyes flashing and his voice tight.

‘Wrong? I’m wrong?’

‘You’re right - sorry that’s rude,’ Ianto caught himself quickly at Jack’s expression and he frowned to himself, ‘sounded prejudiced didn’t it?’ He thought again and Jack considered the fact that he was wrong, he wasn’t human anymore…he was new, a different type of human maybe. Not necessarily a bad thing, he could start creating a new race… ‘Not wrong,’ Ianto corrected, ‘just not normal. Different.’

Ianto had mirrored his thoughts and Jack rolled the word in his mouth.

‘Different?’

‘Still prejudiced.’ Ianto agreed, thinking out loud, ‘special?’

‘Not better Jones.’ Jack drawled in a low growl and Ianto let that knowing look glean in his eye again

‘How about alien?’

‘How about enough questions? Why are you even doing this?’

‘Because you’re the only person I know who has lived here for a hundred years or so and looks pretty good on it - and that intrigues me.’

‘You think I look good?’

‘Don’t change the subject.’

‘Look Ianto – I don’t know what to tell you. You read the files, take from it what you will.’

He sat back and Ianto looked over the pictures of deaths once again, a particularly violent one with a rather nasty alien was sitting on top and he grimaced.

‘You seem remarkably flippant for a man who’s had 867 recorded deaths at the hands of Torchwood.’

Jack balked at the number, even he didn’t know how many deaths he had experienced here and it was curious to him that something as important as dying should be so commonplace to him that he’d never kept count, never felt the need to. He really shouldn’t be flummoxed by a man he hardly knew and it was making his head hurt that this conversation was being forced upon him.

‘I didn’t employ you to question me Ianto, it isn’t relevant to your duties so how about you leave it alone.’

‘What do you think the others would say?’

‘I’m sorry?’

Ianto raised an eyebrow and stared directly at him, ‘the others, the Torchwood Three team who are so dissimilar in their approach to Torchwood One.’ Jack shifted uncomfortably and started to wonder what he had started, he shouldn’t be allowed to employ anyone just because they made him hard as fuck. Even if they did provide him with dinosaur pets. Ianto was still staring and he dragged his attention back.

‘What would they say about your…difference? A new type of team that would go to any lengths to do good, use their talents to save the innocent, protect the public at any cost. Follow their leader without question.’

‘This team isn’t Torchwood One,’ Jack countered steely, ‘they follow orders but they all have their own minds and intelligence, they aren’t programmed to be obliviously loyal.’ He pointed at him, ‘you should start understanding that.’

‘And maybe you should start understanding what you’ve created.’

‘What?’

‘Understand that there is only one type of loyalty and it is oblivious.’ Ianto leaned forward and rested his arms on the desk. ‘ There will always be leaders and there will always be those that will follow, be loyal, fight for that leader and die for that leader and to die for you sir, would be futile. And you know that but you don’t prevent the risk by informing any of us of that fact.’

‘I don’t ask people to die for me.’

Ianto seemed to ignore the tone in his voice and Jack tried to ignore the lie in that very statement. He knew he had sent people to die, had killed people, had had people die for him and die because of him, and knew that he would never forgive himself for any one of them.

‘It doesn’t matter, that’s my point, you’ve made this team and you are their leader, and can you guarantee that they wouldn’t die for you? Could you live with it if you were wrong?’

‘I live with more than you can ever imagine and I think you’ve asked enough questions and you’re done.’ He stood up and pointed out the door, crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him.

‘Of course, sir,’ Ianto stood and gave him a tight smile, ‘I’ll keep the information to myself,’ he picked up the file and tucked the papers in again neatly before making his way to the door and turning to face him again briefly, ‘its just - I’ve been a part of Torchwood before when it saw fit to allow needless death. If you’re as different as you claim – prove it.’

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

‘What was it?’ Ianto asked, trying not to seem too interested as Gwen crept by noisily.

‘Oh – erm,’ she gestured uselessly wondering how Ianto caught her in super stealth mode, ‘nothing…’

‘You are shit at lying,’ Ianto spun round to face her in his chair and shook his head, ‘how you had an affair is beyond me.’

‘Ianto!’

‘Sorry.’ He glanced away guiltily and knew he had let Jack get to him. ‘What is it? Just tell me.’

She moved closer and whispered in her best soap opera voice, ‘he thinks you slept with someone else.’

‘What?’

‘Same suit,’ Gwen gestured and Ianto looked down at himself and pouted, ‘same tie. Smell of Chanel…’ She raised her eyebrows and Ianto frowned at her.

‘I stayed at my aunts – I was going to mention it earlier but he cut us off slightly…We watched films until 4 and then fell asleep on the sofa together.’

‘Ooohhh.’

Ianto wasn’t surprised, shouldn’t be surprised, he’d come back home one night months ago to find Jack sitting in the dark waiting for him and had only taken one step in the door before Jack had smelt the other guy on him. It had only been a blow job, behind a club and Ianto had come hard and immediately gotten rid of him. But Jack hadn’t forgiven him for days. Hadn’t forgiven himself either, had driven them both crazy until Ianto had made him talk about it and they had both decided to be monogomous. But they weren’t together now. And clearly Jack wasn’t understanding it. He leaned his elbows forward onto his knees and ran his hands over his face speaking through his fingers.

‘He isn’t over this at all is he?’

Gwen snorted quietly and rolled her eyes, ‘have you just realised?’

‘Shit.’ He dropped his head further and closed his eyes, he was so tired, so tired of trying to do the right thing and it smacking him back in the face.

‘You need to go and talk to him,’ Gwen tapped her pen against her cheek and Ianto looked up at her blearily, ‘again.’

‘It shouldn’t matter.’ He shook his head softly, ‘we aren’t together anymore I’m single.’

‘Have you…?’ She nodded her head and Ianto frowned confused.

‘What?’

‘Slept with anyone else?’

He rolled his eyes, trust Gwen, but if he was honest his ex – time travelling, immortal boyfriend wasn’t a topic he could talk to anyone else about honestly - apart from his Aunt Lexie. So Gwen would have to do. ‘No.’

‘Not exactly the actions of a single person,’ she replied pointedly.

‘I’m not talking to him,’ Ianto shook his head defiantly, ‘if he wants to think that of me, he can.’

‘Ianto!….Ianto!’ They both looked up at the disembodied voice yelling down into the Hub and Ianto swept out forcefully, disappearing into the Archives and brushing Jack’s shoulder on his way out.

‘What was that about?’ He glared at Gwen as she fisted her hands and drew herself up from her desk.

‘You two need to get back together you are both driving me crazy!’

‘Gwen, he’s sleeping with someone else,’ Jack replied frustratedly, gesturing after him, ‘he thinks he’s better off, I don’t know what to do.’

She shook her head, her hair flying over her shoulders, ‘he isn’t over you.’

‘He slept with another woman!’

‘No.’ She stared at him hard, ‘He didn’t.’

‘What?’

‘He was with his aunt the whole night, they fell asleep together on the sofa.’

Jack’s face fixed expressionless and his body tensed, he knew how much Ianto loved his aunt, it made sense and he let the information run through his mind over and over.

‘Oh.’

‘Jack, if you want him back,’ Gwen grabbed his arm when Jack glanced away, ‘if you want him back - fight for him.’

Jack stared after the route Ianto had taken and leaned against the side thoughtfully, ‘love…isn’t a battle.’ Gwen let a smile play across her lips as Jack continued to gaze into the distance, he did love Ianto.

‘Yes it is – all’s fair in love and war Jack,’ she said softly and he turned to look at her, ‘I would have thought out of everyone, after everything you’ve been through, the two of you - that you would be the first to believe that.’

.......................

Jack sat back many hours later that night and closed his eyes, he had barely slept for weeks, insomnia was driving him crazy - he had gotten too close to Ianto and started sleeping normally and now he was exhausted. He breathed in deeply and tried to slip into dreams, nightmares, anything that meant he was unconscious for just a couple of uninterrupted hours. He sighed frustratedly and sat back up, he wasn’t going to get to sleep, images of Ianto and mystery women flashing in his mind, each one a different person, a new face, never one of them him and he ran his hands through his hair. He knew it hadn't happened but now he knew how much it had hit him he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He had to though. He had to stop it, stop torturing himself. He had to sleep, he had to say goodnight to Ianto. He picked up his phone and fiddled with it for a second, flipping it open and closed before quickly making the decision and firing off a text that would make Ianto mad or realise he still loved him. Either way it was worth it he reasoned as he slid back under the sheets, his last thoughts the echoing of Gwen’s words that all was fair in love and war. He believed it. Always had, and he realised as he remembered that, that he was going to get Ianto back.
He loved him.

Part 6

A/N 2: I actually apologise if this isn’t very good because - without being horribly self indulgent - I feel awful right now. I’m exhausted and just at a loss, so please forgive any mistakes or anything. P.S. Lots of smut coming up. xxx

Rec List 2!

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:15:43 GMT

Well my lovelies, good evening!

I have been sad and I haven't written anything for my series, I apologise, but I have been reading so as a sorry I have made another rec list for you all!
I have lots of work to do for Uni, lots of family matters I should be sorting, lots of career options to sort out and instead here is some (lots) of porn. All kinds of porn. They are all One Shots and very, very hot. I hope you enjoy.
More personally, thank you to everyone recently who has helped me out, you know who you are, I love you.
Abby.xxx

This was my first rec list - there are some seriously good fics here!

Rec List One from me!

This is my latest fic: Dynamics
And my latest series: Nothing's fair in Love and War

I will update soon I promise I am just rubbish at the moment, please forgive me!

kahtyasofia
Love the New Coat
Sequel:
Love you out of the New Coat
Jack/Ianto smut. In an alley, in a bed. Hot and very dirty. The wriststrap is involved.

kahtyasofia
It's Spiritual
Jack/Ianto sex. Fisting - really hot fisting. Very well done. Very hot.

louiex
Morning Routine
Jack/Ianto. BEST MORNING SEX EVA! Enough said. Really. Best Ever.

moonstories
If Not Now, When
Jack/Ianto. Relationship growth, smut in a nice way and love. Heart breakingly good.

dessert_first
Innovative
Jack/Ianto. It's kinked, its guh making, its sex toys, its explicit, its hot.

chez_monica</lj>
Beauty in the Ashes
Jack/Ianto/Gwen. It's not for everyone but it's very good. Threesome, double penetration. Explicit, very good.

crowson</lj>
Midnight
Jack/Ianto. They need a midnight snack...of each other and food. And the two kind of cross over into totally sexy food porn. Yay.

conjunkie</lj>
You Can Leave Your Hat On
Jack/Ianto - Ianto/Gareth style. Ianto. In a hat. Office sex. It's so hot I can't describe. Go there for the UBER sexy pics of Gareth alone. So good.

fodian</lj>
Triptych
Jack/Ianto. This is possibly the best fic I've read in a while. It is absolutely brilliant and I can't say it enough. You really should read it if you love their relationship.

So that is all for now! Hope some of you like some or all of them!
Lots of love and cuddles,
Abby.xxx

Dynamics

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:38:10 GMT

Title: Dynamics.
Rating: NC17
Warnings/Spoilers: Slash, Dark, Adult Themes.
Word Count: One Shot – 4100 words.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: In three parts. Ianto and Jack end up together three different times and the dynamics are different every time.
The first two are set pre Series One and the last is set post Cyberwoman.
A/N: Well I have no idea where it came from, I wrote it in my head in the car yesterday and typed it up last night and today. For Anna - ace_of_spades6</lj>- because she's my lover (even if we are both having affairs - you know who you are) and I make her read my fics and comment...just...because I can. And for Sophie bassair</lj>for looking over it, she’s brilliant and beautiful, cheers!

The first time Ianto sleeps with Jack Harkness he is young and cocky.

He is confident and careful in a manner that drives most people to engage with him and later forget him completely. His ability to be invisibly involving balances perfectly with his appearance that everyone who needs to think they are in charge think they are but Ianto is really the one in control of every situation.

He doesn’t know if it’s an acquired skill or an innate talent imbued at birth in the same way he’s not sure whether he should be flattered or insulted that it tends to work regardless of either.

He has been employed at Torchwood One for a few months, recruited as ‘Head of Tactical Operations and Logistics’ straight out of University. A University in which he graduated early with a double first in History and Physics, he knows how good he is and a little part of him hates that he has to have his records fixed to make him look normal.
Make him look average and junior.
Make him look more normal than a normal person and if you ask him that’s what’s really suspicious.
He has a photographic memory and his recall is unparalleled, Yvonne loves it, throwing random questions at him and expecting an automated reply like a machine.

Yvonne makes most people into machines.

He never knew how much he would grow to hate her at the beginning - the thought of the job too compelling and the annoying, frankly insane woman in charge barely registered in his conscious. It changes dramatically after only a few days and Ianto finds himself actively avoiding her. A useful skill (he was always brilliant at hide and seek as a child) and one which found him in a low level filing room on a boring Tuesday morning.

The first time Ianto Jones sees Jack, he recognises him from his records and he’s having a boring Tuesday morning until he hears his American accent in the corner of the filing room.

‘Yes I’ve looked in that drawer Tosh…No it isn’t there…because I know what it looks like and there aren’t any records of them here…No I will not just “ask” a Torchwood employee…Because what would I say?! ‘Hi there, I was just wondering if you could help me find a record of an alien artefact which can see through walls that I’d like to steal for our very own Torchwood Base’...’

‘You need to go two filing cabinets to the left, third drawer down.’

Ianto’s voice sounds deeper and more Welsh as he hears himself say it, standing half in shadow and half in light and the look on Jack’s (Captain Jack Harkness if he remembers the file correctly – and he does) face is a quick changing range of emotions before he reaches his hand to his ear and talks quickly to someone who isn’t Ianto.

‘I’ll call you back.’

The Captain grins a great big American smile and Ianto notes the jaw line, the coat, the oh-so-blue eyes and cheesy hair that somehow makes him look so much more gorgeous its painful.

‘Must be my lucky day…Searching for a file, stumble upon a good looking Welsh man.’ Jack drawls in an unconvincing attempt at distraction which he punctuates with the flash of a grin in his direction and Ianto stares straight at him.

‘Who are you?’

Jack considers him, the smile falters for just a second and is instantly replaced.

‘I’m a man in need of a drink. Care to join me?’

They make it to a quiet pub in relative silence, picking a back table and when Ianto asks what he wants for his drink Jack requests water and gets beer. They sit together over their pints for a few moments before Ianto leans back and splays his fingers on the table.

‘You can’t Retcon me.’

Jack’s just taken a sip of his drink and almost splutters.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘You can’t Retcon me.’ Ianto repeats, watching him carefully. It’s a lie and he hopes Jack won’t realise, is almost certain he won’t but would rather not be Retconned here, now or later. His memories were his and no one else could touch them. ‘I’m immune.’

Jack quirks an eyebrow interestedly and sits back in his seat.

‘Why would I Retcon you?’

They both know why, caught in Canary Wharf rifling through files, trying to steal tech, he was metaphorically pants down and red handed at the knees of Ianto Jones and Retcon would solve that easily. But now he can’t.

‘Why wouldn’t you?’

They both take sips of their drinks, watching the other over their respective glasses.

‘Who are you?’

‘Who are you?’ Ianto counters, for the second time that morning.

Jack grins like a shark and it makes Ianto want to kiss him or hit him. Or both.

‘Why would you answer a question with a question?’

‘You did.’

‘You didn’t answer mine,’ Jack replies and looks like he’s won something.

Ianto just smiles and takes a sip of his beer slowly. He waits for Jack to talk again - because as always he likes to make the other person feel in control even when he is so blatantly the one in the driving seat careering serenely down a country lane.

‘Are you always this difficult?’

Ianto almost smirks and Jack enjoys garnering the reaction. He looks over the man he has inadvertently picked up, small but not skinny, the most gorgeous eyelashes Jack has seen in a while and fingers clasped around his pint that Jack could suck for an eternity. He realises he has been bored recently and could definitely do with a fantastic lay - and the Welsh, he found, almost always were. Especially when they came wrapped in a suit so hot he wants to know what’s underneath more than ever. He wants to see how many more half smiles, long looks, maybe a laugh or a shout or a demand for more from the mattress of a soft bed or into the hard stone wall of alley (either way Jack could live his life on whimsical sexual scenarios and never get bored) he can make spill from this mysterious man. He wants him and he can see from his lingering gaze and the slight lick of his lips that’s he going to be allowed to have him.

‘Depends on who you ask,’ Ianto replies and he realises this conversation is fun. More fun than any of the other boring ones he has had at Torchwood so far. He thinks to himself how his life has been unusually dull of late and Captain Jack Harkness is legendary and Ianto suddenly feels he has been so terminally bored and that dull twitch in the pit of his heart throbs as he looks over Jack casually. It’s been a while since he felt he wanted a man, not forever - there was Jake and he was hot - best blow job Ianto has ever had, and men are so much more simple than women he seems to remember. And it’s a boring Tuesday morning and he decides he’s going to sleep with someone today and judging by the body language of Captain Jack Harkness he was up for sleeping with him.

So, since I asked first, who are you?’

‘There’s something to be said to for anonymity wouldn’t you say?’ Jack leans forward, smiles and raises his eyebrows suggestively, ‘some might say it’s liberating.’

‘Maybe,’ Ianto considers for a second, takes another slow sip of his beer and watches Jack intensely, ‘depends on who you are.’

The Pub is a Bed and Breakfast and they make it up to the room using less words than it took to decide that they wanted the room in the first place. Ianto unlocking the door and Jack following behind as they walk in, his mouth opens to say something and Ianto closes his lips over it. He feels cool and wet and pushes his tongue against Jack’s making his knees buckle and he falls back into the door, his hands coming up to cup Ianto’s face automatically. The first kiss is searching and intense and new and they fit and it quickly transpires that it makes them both hard. The bed is large and intimidating in the space of the room but insignificant as Ianto lets Jack fuck him against the wall to begin with. It’s hard and deep and Ianto leaves scratch marks in the paint mirroring the lines Jack carves down his chest.

They don’t talk, the noises they are making aren’t comprehensible as language - not even Ianto’s convoluted attempts to swear in Welsh when Jack bites his neck as he pushes inside him the seventh or eighth time make sense. They are enough to make Jack respond though and he turns him roughly, pulls out of him and throws him onto the bed. Ianto drags Jack back over and onto him, raises his legs wantonly and watches Jack slide back into him, arches into thrust after thrust until he can’t breath and he finishes hard, feeling Jack do the same, come coating the back of his thighs and his chest and he takes a moment to drag his finger through it and lick it off before they collapse together into the mattress.

It’s twenty minutes later when Ianto looks out the window. He considers another quick fuck, something frantic that leaves them both almost hurt but smugly satisfied because the effects of his orgasm are about wearing off and they still haven’t said anything. Fat rain drops are falling rhythmically against the glass, the room is hot and tainted and Ianto watches condensation drip slowly. Jack is almost asleep, his arm above his head, sheets pulled around his waist and his face in the pillow breathing evenly. Ianto looks across at his body – Jack’s all muscle and broad expanses of skin, tanned and firm, biceps and hands and shoulder blades that are begging to be stroked and licked. He turns his gaze and stares at the ceiling, he will leave now, he decides. First.

He’s almost impressed with himself - he hasn’t had a truly fantastic lay in months now and his muscles are pleasantly aching as he pulls himself off the bed and wanders over to his clothes, draping his shirt on over his chest and Jack murmurs, turns to watch him and neither breaks eye contact as Ianto replaces every item of clothing perfectly without so much as a glance down to his belt buckle or the knot in his tie. Jack’s the first to look away as he leans over the bed to reach for his own boxers and trousers, the sheets pulling around him and Ianto takes the opportunity to check his skin below his waist for the marks he knows he’s made but can’t find and then to run his hands through his own hair as he glances quickly in the mirror, pulls his coat on and turns up the collar.

Jack still says nothing as he semi-hurriedly dresses and Ianto thinks as rain beats down into their silence that he will walk home. Weather is undoubtedly a Welsh thing and rain is his favourite, there’s something about it - its power. People think it washes things away and Ianto knows he smells of Jack, can still taste him and every time his shirt scratches past his chest against a mark he can still feel him making them while he fucks him into the wall and he doesn’t want to wash it away. He wants to let it soak into him and drag him under, thick and cloying clothes, heavy against him like Jack was and Ianto wants to drown in the memory.

‘You’re leaving.’ It’s not really a question but it’s not a statement either and there’s just enough intonation to suggest Ianto could have more of him if he wants. But he’s leaving to go and bask in the rain.

‘Yes.’

Jack’s pretty much dressed and Ianto nods to him, a small smile almost escapes his minds eye and makes itself known on his face as it tugs the corner of his lips. Jack moves forward and grabs his chin, kisses him hard and Ianto’s fingers find his chest, tangle in his shirt and tug him closer before they break away. Jack turns to get his coat and Ianto reaches into his pocket, pulls out the artefact Jack was looking for earlier and throws it in on the bed like money for a whore.

‘Next time you try and infiltrate Torchwood Captain Harkness – do it better.’

Jack stares at the object and picks it up curiously, by the time he turns around Ianto has gone and Jack is left wondering how he knew his name.

The first time Ianto Jones sleeps with Captain Jack Harkness he is young and cocky. It’s a boring Tuesday morning and Ianto figures its more fun with Jack around.

xxxxxxxxxx

The second time Ianto Jones fucks Captain Jack Harkness he has been thinking about him for days.

Every now and again he sees him out of the corner of his eye - clearly he’s still in London, still around Torchwood One and waiting, scanning and watching and taking, but he’s gone in a second and Ianto likes to think Jack doesn’t realise he’s been spotted. Or noticed. Or subsequently thought about. And obsessed over. He has read everything about him after their first meeting and he wonders if Jack has taken the time to check him out, but knows he will have moved on as swiftly as the wind and just as coldly.

It’s a Friday afternoon and he suddenly hears Jack’s name in a conversation - apparently he’s almost demolished Cardiff Bay with a rather troublesome alien everyone has been after for a month and Ianto balks at the thought that Jack has been in Wales all this time and clearly not London and the corner of his eye. Just the hidden depths of his imagination and the recesses of his memory.

He immediately stops thinking about him.

The second time Ianto Jones fucks Captain Jack Harkness he has met Lisa, the only interesting and quite frankly gorgeous creature in Torchwood that Ianto hasn’t slept with yet and she is unattainable. Until he finally obtains her.

He thinks he is in love.

Then Jack’s there. In the jazz bar he has been drinking in waiting for his friend, the sax player (and Ianto knows just exactly how good he is at blowing) and Jack walks in, moves over to he bar and winks at the guy there, whispers something in his ear and catches Ianto’s eye by accident. By the time he has done a double take Ianto has gone and is watching from behind the stage as Jack scans the room thoughtfully before leaving. Ianto’s desire to listen to Jazz has been severely curtailed by seeing the Captain and drinking too much Whiskey and he stumbles outside, grabbing for a packet of cigarettes and coming face to face with Jack.

‘Hello again.’

The American drawl does things to Ianto’s heart beat, alcohol is thrumming its way through his blood stream and he tilts his head amusedly.

‘Do I know you?’

They both know he does - no one forgets Jack. And Jack hasn’t forgotten him - the deep welsh voice and brilliantly framing eyelashes, hidden this evening with a hat. The wrapper is different tonight - jeans and a shirt with a waist coat, it’s a digression from the Torchwood uniform but not much of one and he’s still clean shaven and could immediately pass as the last Ianto Jack met with a few adjustments.

He offers a cigarette and Jack declines with a shake of his head.

‘I hear they’re bad for you.’

‘Depends.’ Ianto replies as he lights it and draws in a lungful of smoke.

‘On what?’

‘On how long you’re going to live anyway,’ Ianto replies, a glint in his eye and the Whiskey has made him more talkative than last time, not much - but some, ‘if you’re pretty much destined not to live past thirty you may as well smoke - the consequences aren’t going to matter.’

‘Live fast, die young?’

Jack grins and Ianto wants to kiss it off or make it bigger, he isn’t sure.

‘Something like that.’

They stand side by side, leaning against the wall as Ianto smokes - its easier they find, to conduct a conversation this way - looking into the distance instead of each others eyes, they can be more honest.
Or more deceitful.
Either way.

‘Thanks for the tech.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

Ianto flicks the finished cigarette against a grate and watches the sparks fly in the dirty night air.

‘Of course you don’t.’

The second time Ianto Jones fucks Captain Jack Harkness it definitely feels like he is in control. Definitely feels like when he drags him to the secluded park and pushes him to his knees that he is in control of the entire situation. That he has all the power when he comes down his throat and watches Jack swallow, moan greedily and kiss him after like he’s trying to please him.

Ianto loves it, after all this time. Deserves it.

And when he feels how hard Jack is he loves that he tries to fuck him and Ianto pushes him against the tree instead and tosses him off with rough strokes and delicate kisses that make Jack cry into his mouth and come in his trousers.

They stand together in the cold night air and kiss like they converse. Barely there but totally intense, a dance of questions and evading answers and an undertone of tension wrapped in a layer of lust.

Ianto feels like he is in control when Jack finally makes to leave and he silences his protests with a flick of his tongue against the pulse in his neck and the rasping demand to turn around. He knows last time he resisted a second round and left. First. But he won’t give Jack the opportunity to turn the tables. He pushes his trousers back down and when Ianto fucks him against the tree Jack bites his lip so hard it bleeds. He starts off slow, spreading thighs and cheeks and muscle and pushing in long and deep until he hears Jack groan. But the alcohols wearing off and Ianto wants his second orgasm of the night and it takes longer to achieve as he pounds into him, their grunts filling the empty star filled air and Jack comes against the tree when Ianto wraps a hand round him and pulls him off for the second time as he fucks him faster. Shallow thrusts that work his cock deeper insider him and by the end Jack would be begging him to finish if he didn’t not beg and instead he just takes it and encourages until Ianto shouts out and grips his hips so hard he’s sure he’s bruised them for good even though they both know he can’t.

They rest together and Ianto is the first one to move, his phone beeps from his coat and he dresses quickly and reaches for it as Jack makes himself presentable.

They don’t talk and Jack reaches for his chin, runs his finger tips down his jaw line and kisses him softly as Ianto places his hand on his chest and feels his still slightly erratic heartbeat beneath his palm.

They both leave in opposite directions and Ianto looks at his phone, runs his fingers over his thoroughly bruised lips, fucked by kisses and the text is from Lisa checking he is alright, she’s worried about him and Ianto doesn’t reply, shutting it with a soft click of guilt.

The second time Ianto Jones fucks Captain Jack Harkness it’s the late hours of Friday night and the early hours of Saturday morning and he’s not in control anymore.

The second time Ianto Jones fucks Captain Jack Harkness he hates himself and he thinks he is in love.

But he doesn’t know who with.

xxxxxxxxxxx

The third time Ianto Jones and Captain Jack Harkness make love.

It’s late Wednesday night and Ianto has used Jack for his own ends for months.

Always confident and controlled and he did what he always has done, uses his attributes to get what he needs.
Uses them against Jack and now Ianto’s the one who’s used up because she’s dead and its over.
And he’s just left - used up and spat out like a new born baby blinking into the air unbelieving and right back at the beginning, not knowing what comes next and vulnerable to all and everything life has to throw at him.

Because Lisa’s dead now.

Ianto chose Jack in the end but she made the decision somewhat easier by trying to kill him and Ianto knows she wasn’t Lisa in the end and Jack wasn’t really Jack, threatening to kill him when they both knew he never would.

But it makes the decision easier because Ianto realises he wants to live.
Wants to live for Jack.
And it’s simple and confusing all at once and it tears at his perfectly formed thought processes and calm demeanour like a disease rips through a body.

The third time Ianto Jones and Captain Jack Harkness make love its about comfort and the kisses are painful like saying goodbye to someone and knowing you’ll see them again soon but there’s always a chance you wont.

Ianto doesn’t make noise apart from soft breathing and Jack whispers beautiful nothings in his ear as he takes him slow and deep, running his fingers through Ianto’s hair and letting him look away when he comes, his thighs clenching around Jack’s waist, sweat forming between their chests and down their backs and the duvet is heavy and suffocating and the air is putrid with guilt and longing and Ianto does nothing about any of it because he’s glad Jack is in control now.

And Ianto’s drowning in Jack’s movements like rain on a boring Tuesday morning and when he feels him come inside him he cups his chin, kisses him softly and Jack holds Ianto as if he’s a lover.

But they both know it won’t last.

It’s one time and it started with recrimination and tears.

Jack’s tears though, not Ianto’s - because Ianto will not cry about him so soon after he cries for her. Jack accused him and Ianto felt bad and he vaguely remembers shouting and then a kiss that killed them both by degrees and led to a conversation that bought them back to life. A conversation full of questions and answers that lasted for hours and then a look that seemed to go on for just as long and led to now and both of them in each others arms and Ianto’s bed.

And Ianto’s glad because it’s forgiveness and by the end neither is in control because they are both as lost as each other, Ianto doesn’t know how it happened and Jack doesn’t know why he let it.

They both know it’s a one off because it’s too much like love and they will return to the beginning and play games again and vie for a whole new type of control.

Because neither of them can fall in love.

Ianto will come back to work because Jack will let him and Jack will continue to sleep with him because Ianto will let him and it will feel like loss after this perfect night but it won’t be.

Because they won’t fall in love, but they won’t give up on each other either.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The first time the Universe is created Ianto Jones and Captain Jack Harkness fall in love without a second thought. The second time around the dynamics are different.

A/N 2: Well that was an interesting little exercise in typing the random thoughts of a very long car journey. I posted this as an apology for ‘Nothing’s fair in Love and War,’ which will be updated as soon as I am…a good poster…soon anyway. The next part of 'L&W' (Part 5) is two parts and a double posting I will aim for Thursday night but we will see. Thanks for reading this as a diversion lovelies!

Fluffy One Shot!

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:11:51 GMT

Title: ‘It’s impossible not to love him.’
Rating: G! For like, the first time ever.
Warnings/Spoilers: M/M Kissing. And nakedness. Because I’m not that G.
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters. Or the quotes from Joseph Conrad’s, ‘Heart of Darkness.’
Summary: Ianto’s sleepy.
A/N: Well, my beautiful girl butterflycelldedicated the most gorgeous fic to me the other day (go to her journal Here, it’s amazing, her fics are brilliant.) So I offered my services in return and she asked for a fluffy, innocent bed fic. Janto style. Turns out I can’t write fluff but I tried lol coz I love her! I also added in glasses because it occurred to me that whilst JB is always a creature of gorgeousness he just amps it up sometimes with sexy specs.

Jack wandered through Ianto’s front door nonchalantly, pocketing his key and discovering his somewhat boyfriend, somewhat employee, somewhat best friend and definite lover sprawled on the sofa watching an old movie, his suit half off and half on and ruffled delightfully. He smiled to himself in the darkness of the hall, the low lighting of the living room illuminating the two abandoned coffee mugs on the table and he realised it was half three in the morning. He stepped into the room and draped across the sofa, bending over the back, his eyes trained on the TV screen as he bowed his head and kissed him lightly on the lips. Ianto barely lifted his head or kissed back, shifting on to his side and reaching his arm up to Jack’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he crouched behind the sofa and looked down at him.

‘Marx brothers?

‘Mmmmm.’ Ianto responded sleepily, brushing his lips across his fingers and Jack stood up and released his hand, shrugging off his coat and moving round to the front of the sofa as Ianto shifted again to make room and moved into him, eyes drifting over to the screen as Jack wrapped an arm round his shoulders, dropped his lips down to Ianto’s forehead and kissed him lightly.

‘Wanna do something?’

Ianto sighed and turned into his body, burying his face in his shoulder and stifling a yawn as he murmured against his throat, ‘always.’

‘You’re exhausted aren’t you?’

Jack smiled and ran a hand through his hair as Ianto yawned again and shook his head slowly, ‘…no.’

‘Liar.’

He flicked the T.V off and placed their hands together as Ianto looked up at him blearily.

‘Not lying.’

He shook his head again and Jack hmmed disbelievingly, looking at him a second and leaning in to kiss him gently, relaxing from the long day as Ianto kissed him back, their tongues lightly brushing and Jack shifted closer into him to get a better angle, bought his hand up to his cheek to stroke his jaw softly when Ianto pulled back and yawned again, rubbing his hands down his face.

‘Go on. Go up. Sleep.’

He pointed upstairs and Ianto pouted, stretched his arm across the sofa and played with the back of Jack’s hair.

‘Come with me.’

Jack moaned quietly when Ianto stroked that spot just at the top of his spine that they both knew he loved and pulled away, raising his eyebrows at him accusingly.

‘You won’t sleep if I come up with you.’

They both knew it was true and Ianto really did look exhausted, he stifled another yawn and looked over at Jack, the dusk of night creeping through the curtains and making Ianto’s pale skin dully luminescent and Jack’s eyes shine.

‘What will you do?’

‘Nothing.’ He shrugged, ‘stay here. Watch the Marx Brother’s, wait for you to wake up.’

‘Boring.’ He sighed and grasped Jack’s hand, ‘come with me.’

Jack looked at him for a second, the shifting light through the curtains glancing over his face, he really was quite gorgeous Jack decided as he reached over and kissed him, pulled an inch away from his face and whispered quietly.

‘Go up before you collapse, go on. I’ll be up in a second.’

‘`Kay.’ Ianto nodded and kissed him again slowly, got up and stretched and padded over to the stairs.

Jack watched him leave and stood up, ran his hands through his hair and locked the front door, set the security alarm he insisted Ianto had and picked up his coat, walking up to the bedroom. The door creaked quietly, the bedside lamp cutting bright light through the darkness of the rest of the room, and Ianto was lying on his front, his arm under his pillow, his face hidden from the light, the duvet pulled across his shoulders. Jack stripped off quickly and shuffled under the covers and Ianto turned onto his side drawing him close, sighing quietly and resting his head in the crook of Jack’s shoulder.

They lay in silence for a moment, the air still and warm and Jack stroked down his side gently, sat back against the pillows, looking down at him and smiling.

‘Why Ianto Jones you aren’t wearing pyjamas…’

Ianto grinned against his chest, reached across to switch the light off and brushed heavily against Jack raising an eyebrow.

‘Neither are you, Captain.’

‘I used to wear boxers but my boyfriend kept taking them off.’

Ianto grinned and leaned into him.

‘Sounds like a smart man.’

Jack nodded sarcastically and kissed the top of his head, tucking it beneath his chin and dragging his fingernails lightly up and down his shoulder.

‘You’d have to ask him but I’m sure he’d agree.’

‘Hmmmm.’

He yawned and Jack stroked his cheek.

‘Go to sleep.’

Ianto kissed his chest softly and Jack reached for his book.

‘You should wear your glasses.’

‘No.’

Ianto smiled and rolled his eyes.

‘Wear them.’

‘Don’t need them.’

‘Yes you do.’ He murmured quietly, pulled the duvet up higher and draped an arm over Jack’s stomach, ‘you just refuse to acknowledge it.’

‘I don’t,’ Jack replied grumpily, ‘and if I do it’s only because I have to read in the dark.’

Ianto closed his eyes and stroked his stomach lightly with his fingertips.

‘Can’t sleep if the lights on.’

‘Well then I’ll just have to strain my eyes, don’t you worry about it.’

Ianto snorted at his snarky tone and yawned softly again, ‘do you want to go back downstairs?’

‘No.’ Jack answered quickly, opening his book where he left off, ‘I want to stay here with you.’

‘Good answer.’ He smiled into the darkness and Jack felt him rub his foot up his leg sleepily.

‘Ummmm I know.’ Jack glanced at him and whispered against his hair, ‘go to sleep. Or we’ll have to have sex.’

Ianto laughed quietly, ‘God not again. I’m sleeping, I’m sleeping.’

‘Cheeky.’ He reached down and kissed him hard and quick.

‘Mmmm. You love it.’

‘Uh huh. Go to sleep.’

‘Put your glasses on.’

Ianto yawned again and Jack pouted.

‘They make me look old.’

‘They make you look sexy.’

Jack raised an eyebrow interestedly and could practically hear Ianto smirk.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes.’

Jack fumbled in the bedside table and pulled out his small, light, dark framed glasses and Ianto opened his eyes, looked up and grinned into the moonlit room.

‘Mmmm, sexy.’ He ran his hand down Jack’s chest and reached up to kiss him.

Jack rolled his eyes and muttered into his mouth, ‘shut up,’ breaking off the kiss and letting Ianto slide back down into the bed, stretching lazily as he lay his head back down onto the pillow and shut his eyes.

‘Go to sleep,’ Jack breathed, ‘so I can ravish you in the morning.’

‘I do love a good ravishing.’

Jack chuckled softly and opened his book again, Ianto murmuring into the pillow softly as Jack stroked his hair.

‘What are you reading tonight?’

‘Casanova’s Memoirs.’

Ianto huffed into the pillow and he grinned.

‘You’re joking.’

‘Yes. Conrad - Heart of Darkness.’

Ianto opened his eyes again and looked at him curiously, ‘really?’

‘Yeah.’

He flipped the page to show him the cover as if to prove it and Ianto’s eyes drifted over the words.

‘That’s my favourite novel.’

Jack stared at him, ‘it is?’

‘Uh huh.’ He nodded and laced their fingers back together, his thumb brushing lightly back and forth over Jack’s hand and he looked back to him, ‘read it to me?’

He nodded and Ianto settled next to him, closing his eyes again and sighing, letting Jack talk soothingly into the night air.

‘'He was a remarkable man,' I said, unsteadily. Then before the appealing fixity of her gaze, that seemed to watch for more words on my lips, I went on, 'It was impossible not to--'
"'Love him,' she finished eagerly, silencing me into an appalled dumbness. 'How true! how true! But when you think that no one knew him so well as I! I had all his noble confidence. I knew him best.'
"'You knew him best,' I repeated. And perhaps she did –‘

‘But with every word spoken the room was growing darker, and only her forehead, smooth and white, remained illumined by the unextinguishable light of belief and love,’ Ianto finished, his voice quiet and delicate. Jack gazed down at him, his hand lingering in his, his face peaceful and his chest ever so slightly moving with breath as he slipped into sleep. He reached down and kissed him softly on the top of his head, let his lips linger a second and his mind remember as he whispered into the air.

‘Goodnight Ianto.’

A/N 2: Forgot to thank Sophie - bassair</lj>for helping me by reading through this and generally inflating my ego and getting rid of insecureties - THANK YOU SWEETIE! Hope that was fluffy and innocent enough for you Jenni! xx